FOLKS, I'M STANDING OVER HERE BECAUSE ONCE AGAIN AS MANY, THIS
IS THE NIGHT THAT WE HAVE TOO MUCH MONDAY LOG FOR THE MONDAY
LOG IT IS A DOUBLE STUFF MONOLOGUE TONIGHT.
>> GET IT IN.
>> BECAUSE THIS ONE, WE COULDN'T LET THIS ONE GO, THIS IS TOO
FUN.
NOW WE KNOW THAT DIPLOMACY IS NOT PRESIDENT TRUMP'S THING.
BUT DIG THIS, DADDY-O APPARENTLY HE KEEPS CALLING
JAPANESE PRIME MINISTER SHINZO ABE AT ALL HOURS BECAUSE OF HIS
STRUGGLE GRASP TIME ZONES.
AND ACCORDING TO A FORMER NATIONAL SECURITY COUNCIL TRUMP
WASN'T GREAT AT RECOGNIZING THAT A LEADER MAYING 08 ARE OR 58
YEARS OLD AND NOT IN THE RIGHT PLACE AT 10:30 OR 11:00 P.M.
THEIR TIME.
HOLD ON, PUMP YOUR BRAKES WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S NIGHT THERE,
OKAY.
I JUST LOOKED OUT THE WINDOW RIGHT THERE AND IT'S DAY, OKAY.
THAT MEANS IT IS FAKE:00.
OKAY.
DAY TAME RIGHT THERE.
THAT IS A FACT.
AND WE'VE JUST LEARNED THAT WHILE PREPARING FOR A MEETING
WITH INDIA'S PRIME MINISTER, TRUMP APPEARED CONFUSED BY NEPAL
AND BHUTAN WHICH LIE SANDWICHED BETWEEN INDIA AND CHINA.
HE WAS LIKE WHAT'S THIS THIS STUFF?
TWEEN.
BY THE WAY, BY THE WAY, WHAT IS THIS STUFF IN BETWEEN IS ALSO
WHAT TRUMP ASKS WHEN HE SEES PICTURES OF HIS CHILDREN.
I SEE.
I SEE, OKAY, HOLD ON, HOLD ON.
I GOT T LET ME SEE, I SEE THE ONE WITH MY NAME AND THE ONE I
LIKE WHAT IS THAT STUFF IN BETWEEN?
AND EVEN ONCE HE LEARNED WHAT THAT STUFF WAS, TRUMP REFERRED
TO BHUTAN BHUTAN AS BUTTON AND MISPRONOUNCED NEPAL AS NIPPLE,
THEN, THEN WORD IS HE THEN TOUCHED THE MAP WITHOUT ITS
CONSENT.
I FOUND NIPPLE, IS THIS A TOPOGRAPHICAL MAP OR IS IT JUST
CHILLY IN HERE?
BUT.
>> ALLEGEDLY, ALLEGEDLY.
BUT DON'T WORRY, EVERYBODY.
THE PRESIDENT IS STUPID LIKE A FOX.
BECAUSE ACCORDING TO ONE AID I DON'T THINK HE SEES THOSE AS
FAUX PASS, I THINK HE SEES THEM AS LOOK, I DO ING THISES
DIFFERENTLY. THAT'S LIKE SAYING YEAH, I DIDN'T GET TOO DRUNK AT
MY COUSIN'S WEDDING AND VOMITED AT THE CAKE AND YELL AT EVERYONE
TO EAT AROUND IT.
I JUST DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY.
FIY I ALSO DID SOMETHING DIFFERENTLY ON THE SHRIMP BAR.
>> OH, NOT THE SHRIMP.
>> Stephen: BUT IT IS IMPORTANT THAT THE MOST POWERFUL
MAN IN THE WORLD KNOWS WHAT COUNTRIES ARE IN THAT WORLD.
SO TONIGHT WE'RE HERE TO HELP.
THANK YOU, BOYS, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
HERE WE GO.
ALL RIGHT.
THIS IS THE WORLD THERE IS THE WORLD, NORMALLY IT'S ROUND,
OKAY.
WHEN THE SUN IS SHINING ON ONE SIDE, IT'S DARK ON THE OTHER,
OKAY.
WE HAVE LABELED WHAT YOU ALREADY KNOW, OKAY.
HERE IS NIPPLE RIGHT THERE AND BHUTAN.
NIPPLE AND BHUTAN.
BUT DON'T FORGET OUR ALLIES TITALY, AND ASS-TRALIA.
THEY'RE OUR FRIENDS, THEY'RE FRIENDS.
THESE COUNTRIES ARE OUR ECONOMIC PARTNERS.
WHO CAN HELP YOU WIN YOUR TRADE WAR AGAINST VA-CHINA.
OKAY.
HERE IS DJIBOUTI.
THAT ONE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE TO CHANGE BUT I WILL TELL YOU WHAT,
LITTLE ADVICE, DON'T EVEN TRY, DON'T EVEN ATTEMPT TO PRONOUNCE
NIGER.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH NICKI MINAJ.