♪♪
(morning announcer) It's Monday and that means
the big game against Galveston
is just a few days away.
We're praying that new guy, Coach Thompson,
is getting our Bronconeers ready for combat.
You the new football coach down at the high school?
Yes, sir. Coach Thompson.
This is my wife, Amy.
Hey, y'all.
Coach Crawford was like family.
You got some big shoes to fill.
We sure love our football around here,
more than anything.
My wife baked you up a pecan crumb.
Bronconeers.
Ain't it good to be the coach?
(wine splashing)
Woo!
♪ She could get it all night ♪
♪ Night, night, night, night, night, night ♪
♪ She could get it ♪♪
(radio switches off)
Now, I'm not sure what you heard about me,
but I do things a little different
than y'all are used to here in Stewford Heights.
This season, we're gonna be the first team
in the county to run a no-huddle offense.
You don't like that?
You can just look at my 14-2 record Northeast last year.
Second, we do two-a-days every day.
Mm-hmm.
And third, now, I just need you go to with me on this one.
(marker screeching)
(boy) No raping?
But coach, we play football.
My team, my rules. You don't like it,
don't let the door rape you on the way out.
(clipboard slamming on floor)
Can we rape at away games?
What if it's Halloween
and she's dressed like a sexy cat?
What if she thinks it's rape
(Coach Thompson) Still no.
What about, like, a sexy ladybug?
Mm.
(disappointed sighing)
A ghost?
What about a sexy owl?
(bell ringing)
Sexy Transformer?
What if my mom is the D.A.
and won't prosecute?
Can I rape?
No, you cannot.
(disappointed sighing)
What if she's drunk and has a slight reputation
and no one's gonna believe her?
Okay.
The girl said yes to me the other day,
but it was about something else.
No.
What if the girl said yes
but then she changes her mind out of nowhere,
like a crazy person.
You gotta stop.
No, you gotta stop!
(boys) Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hey! Hey!
(boy) Where did that come from?
(woman) Hey.
You're that new coach who don't like raping.
(woman 2) How are our boys supposed to celebrate when they win?
Or blow off steam if they lose?
(hocking a loogie, spitting)
That's not very neighborly, ladies.
These folks, that's just their way, okay?
You can't bring a wet mule around a hot corn oven.
Right?
How about just backing off this whole no raping thing for now?
We've been through this a million ti--
I know we've been through it and I know
we have a daughter, okay?
I know that and I love her, but I am so tired.
I don't know why, but I am,
you know?
(sighing)
(knocking on door)
Hey, Coach, um.
Can I come in?
Sure.
Uh, I'm sorry to bother you at home, Coach,
but you're the closest thing I ever had to a dad
and I just wanna, you know, ask.
Go ahead, son.
But, like, what if someone else is raping her, right,
and I'm just, like, filming it on my phone?
No, no, it's still a no. You're just as guilty,
but you already knew that, right?
(laughing)
(splashing)
♪♪
(sports announcer) The Bronconeers are taking a beating out there.
Oh, we got a hard hit on Cunningham and he is down.
It's pretty severe.
Just give it to me straight, Doc.
Will my boy ever rape again?
Afraid not.
It's okay. It's okay.
It's okay.
(sports announcer) Bronconeers are really feeling Cunningham's loss.
They're down 15 points.
(whistle blowing)
We should not be losing this game.
Dugan, what the hell were you thinking out there
on that last play, son?
I was-- I was thinking about raping.
God damn it.
(crashing, rattling)
How do I get through to you boys that football isn't about rape?
It's about violently dominating anyone that stands
between you and what you want.
Now, you gotta get yourself into the mindset
that you are gods
and you are entitled to this.
(boy) Yeah!
That other team, they ain't just gonna lay down
(boy) No!
You gotta go out there and take it.
(all cheering)
Now let's get out there.
(boys) Yeah.
Clear eyes.
Full hearts.
(all) Don't rape!
(indistinct shouting)
Woo! Yeah.
Ain't it good to be the coach?
I love you, baby.