What is the worst movie you've ever seen?
No, I'm not talking about Grown Ups 2 or Transformers 2
I mean a movie so bad, so fundamentally broken, that it leaves a pit in your stomach
or makes you feel frustrated and angry beyond any reasonable measure
This is a question I've been asking myself for a while
and I think it's about time to do something about it
So, I've pulled up the list of the bottom 100 lowest rated movies on IMDB
and I'm going through them one by one to find the worst movie ever
Welcome to The Search For The Worst
The Bat People is the worst thing in the history of anything ever
In fact, I think it might be the biggest fraud of a movie ever made
There are plenty of bats, and plenty of people
But there certainly ain't bat people
..plural
There's one guy who sort of turns into a bat
but also doesn't really
Anyway, I hope you're a fan of stock footage and multiple closes up of bats
because that's how this picture starts
IMDB claims that this movie's a horror
and I know it was made in 1974 when different things were probably considered scary,
but I beg to differ
It's more of a comedic drama with slight horror elements than anything
and the comedy factor is not intentional, mind you
The movie ends up being so predictable,
that it turns right back around into being completely unpredictable
But most of all, if I had to describe this movie with one simple word,
it would be "boring"
Actually, I use that word far too much in this series
How about "dull", "uninteresting", "humdrum", "tiring", "mundane", "stale", "tedious"?
Take your pick because it's all of these things
b-o-r-i-n-g
bo-bo-bo-boring
I'm so sick of these "they're so bad that they're bad" boring movies
It's actually making me miss things like Birdemic or The Room
At least those movies are fun to point at and laugh
Stop ganging up on me!
So, these assholes are our main characters, Dr. Bat and wife of Dr. Bat
"What is he a doctor of?" you might be asking,
Well, I don't really know
because for the first five minutes or so, they wonder around the desert looking for bats
saying that it's important for the doctor's work
Is it so important?
Well, of course not, it's just my work
But then later on, they keep saying that because he's a doctor,
he should know everything about the biology of humans as well
It's nothing for you to be concerned about
Nurse, I'm a doctor and I am concerned
It's also interesting to note that Dr. Bat and wife of Dr. Bat are actually married in real life
Which was genuinely surprising to me seeing
as they're so awkward, stiff and have absolutely no chemistry whatsoever
So, the honeymoon was getting a little dull, anyway
By the way, this guy isn't actually called Dr. Bat in the movie,
but he might as well of been
And I can't remember his real name, so that's what I'm gonna call him
So, it turns out that it's actually these assholes' honeymoon
and that's why they're in the desert...?
So we can do all the stuff that we were suppose to do on our overdue honeymoon
And he's all like 'all I need to to do now is to go to a cave
that has bats in it to complete my work'
but she's like 'but it's our honeymoon!
Why the fuck would we do that now?'
and he's like 'I guess you're right.'
but then she turns around and says
'well, seeing that it's so important to your work,
I suppose we can go the cave that's filled with bats'
So, they go on some kind of cave tour
and Dr. Bat immediately forgets about his important bat work that we don't understand
in favor of making out with his wife in the caves
Except they wonder off and get lost
falling into some pit that has loads of mites and creatures in it
Then, out of nowhere, a bat flings down from the ceiling
and bites Dr. Bat on the head
And so begins the unexplained bizarre moronic idiotic nonsensical
descent of Dr. Bat turning into a bat people
Doesn't this premise sound so fun?
Like, it could be a real cheap version of American Werewolf In London
but, with a guy that turns into a bat instead of a werewolf
Just dumb fun
Well, you're in for a big surprise for what this really is, I tell you what
By the way, the surprise is that it sucks
So, to establish that the bat forehead bite is doing something to Dr. Bat,
we get a bunch of scenes of him trying to do
what Frodo did in The Lord of The Rings
You know when you do that crazy shit with your eyes
to make it look like you're being affected by something?
But instead he just looks like a bad actor
flicking his eyes up into his head
to establish the start of a bat transformation
Charlie, what's wrong?
So, the newly wed couple have a lovely old time skiing around in the snow
Wait
What the fuck?
How did they get here? They were just in the desert a second ago
So, while they're sat in some jacuzzi hot tub thing,
Dr. Bat accidentally shames his beverage in his hand
and cuts it to shit
So, he goes to the doctor and gets a bandage
and mentions 'oh, yeah, doc, ah,
I got bit by a bat right on the head
I should probably..
I should probably do something about that, shouldn't I?'
'You know you can get rabies from bat bites, right?'
'Oh..
..I'm going to turn into a bat, aren't I?'
'You certainly are!'
So, to prevent the rabies, they eject some kind of serum into the guy's peanut
then the doc gives it a good feel
Not really sure why he feels that this is necessary,
but I guess he's a doctor, not me
Unfortunately, for Dr. Bat,
he has some kind of allergic reaction to the anti-rabies shot
So, he freaks out
and it's ultimately a completely and utterly pointless scene
'Hey, doc, I'm worried about my husband
I feel he might be turning into a bat or something'
'What?
leave me alone, I'm trying to ski over here'
So, in the middle of the night,
Dr. Bat's hands turn into weird freaky human bat hand things
and for no reason at all,
accidentally kills a nurse that he comes across
I guess it's because bats are so famous for killing people
and having a thirst for murder
Wait, but Wikipedia says that most bats are fruit eaters
So, why isn't he murdering fruit?
When he wakes up in the morning, he asks the nurse why she looks so glum
'Well, you see, a giant bat person
accidentally killed the night nurse.'
'I'm turning into a bat person because
I was bitten on the head by a bat, aren't I?
'Yep'
From now on, Dr. Bat is a colossal twat to his wife for no reason
For once in your life, just do the hell I ask
Can't you see I'm in trouble?
But the doctor says you're doing fine
I guess it's that famous bat anger controlling him
What is happening in this movie?
Next, we're introduced to my least favorite character to ever be depicted in a movie
it's this Sharif guy
Not only is he the biggest fucking idiot to ever grace the planet,
but he too is a huge prick
He's investigating the nurse hospital death
and some how gets involved with Dr. Bat and
incessantly follows him around
and assaults his wife when he's not there
So, in the middle of the night,
being a really clever bat doctor and everything,
knowing that something weird is clearly happening to him,
decides to sneak out of his house and kill some girl
This music is so unfitting for what's happening
So, it's suppose to be scary, but it's comedic
This is the sort of shit I listen to when I'm editing
And the Sharif shows up and asks
'Hey, you don't happen to be turning into a bat
and killing people in the middle of the night, do you?'
'No'
'Okay, I'll see you next time you turn into a bat and murder someone'
So, instead of the bat doctor using his bat knowledge
to face the challenges before him,
he decides that he needs a psychiatrist because he's been imagining all of it
This isn't happening
It's in my mind
And for some unexplained reason, he flees the hospital out of an open window
then steals an ambulance..?
Then there's a really uninteresting car chase with the Sharif
because this horror movie really needed an action sequence
Darnit! He bat got away a bat again!
..a bat again
Dammit, can't even get my bat puns right
Not even a pun. Not even a pun
Doesn't even make any sense
This is a bat-astrophe!
After running around in the desert for a while,
Dr. Bat finds some homeless man who's living in a shed
Then surprisingly he turns into bat and kills him
Hey, you noticing something?
Have you noticed that we're an hour into the movie
and the most we've seen of any type of bat person
is his weird hands on a couple of close ups on his eye?
Well, I guess this is because it's all
building up to a big satisfying reveal in the last 30 minutes
I suppose I can forgive that
With the Sharif hot on his trail
and constantly only one step behind Dr. Bat,
he decides to take refuge in the cave where he got bitten in the first place
Why is he even bothering to sneak around?
Oh, because he's covered in blood
Okay
I understand, movie
This is when the Sharif spots Dr. Bat's wife walking around at night,
offers to drive her home
then lets himself into her house and assaults her
I can't figure out if this was an attempt to
make him a villain of the movie for some reason
but we've already got a villain in our main character
He's straight up murdering people
What's the point of this scene?
No, really, what is the point?
After batman aimlessly wonders around the cave system for awhile,
looking like a completely regular dude,
not even half or even quarter bat person at this point,
he steals someone else's car
and sneaks into the hospital to grab some rabies shots
What I really don't understand is why he's becoming a murder because he's turning into a bat
Like he's some kind of
..animal?
But, he's still looks like a human and looks
mostly human, it just looks like his hands are
kind of bat hands but there's still human
..oh, no, they're not even bat hands anymore
What the hell is happening in this fucking movie?!
It was at about this point where it was fully reaffirmed to me
that his guy is the biggest idiot in the universe
and I no longer care about anything he does
or what happens to him
An unlucky nurse wonders in and he assaults her
asks her to kill him..I think?
But then he just finds what I guess is suppose to be a cache of blood
which is clearly some tasty fruit juice
Why is he doing this?
Then because the Sharif has the ability to teleport,
he's conveniently already in the hospital to try to..
I don't fucking know! Something?
Dr. Bat decided it might be a good idea to put his wife in danger as well
by sneaking into their house and standing in the dark
And she's all like 'blah blah blah we can get you help'
and he's like 'well, no, I'm kind of turning into a bat
I'm pretty fucked'
Then they have sex which is a great idea
'cause I'm pretty sure it's insinuated
that Dr. Bat transfers his bat aliments to her this way
He turns kind of into a bat again but not really which scares her
Then he fucks off back to the cave
Luckily, the Sharif had enough of his teleport ability left
to follow Dr. Bat into the cave
where we finally, once in for all,
get the reveal of what Dr. Bat looks like when he is indeed a bat people
Now, was that worth the build up?
No
Not at all
So, they have a little fight
which ends in the Sharif getting away somehow
Who, instead of calling reinforcements
or telling anyone really,
picks up Dr. Bat's wife
and drives back to the cave at night
Then, I think this is what happens,
forty million bats attack the car
and splat themselves on the windshield
They crash the car,
lady gets out and Sharif gets eaten alive by bats
Then she walks into the cave presumably being controlled by some kind of bat magic
or because she's turning into a bat
I really don't know
What I do know is that this is the end of the movie, though
Never even get to see the bat people again
I can't even get angry at this shit anymore
Oh, wait
I totally can
Fuck you, movie
I think this might be the most
"because movie" movie I've ever seen
I don't mind having to turn off my brain for stupid body horror movies,
but at least give me the bare essentials to enjoy the story
Every twist and turn is met by a "why?" or "what?"
"What is going on?"
Which is ultimately the biggest flaw with this picture
A premise like this could of been an awesome dumb B-movie
but the lazy effects, nonsensical plot
and boring scenes add up to a completely forgettable movie
It was hard for me to stay awake during the hour and a half running time
I always say that a boring movie that has nothing is worst
than a movie that actually makes you feel something
And again, it's another one of these fucking middling stupid tiresome piece of shit movies
It's actually more entertaining
to go the the IMDB page than to actually watch it
Especially if you go to the weird pictures
Not only did the poster straight up lie,
but this one here has Dr. Bat pulling
his wife's dress down and holding her boob
Now, what is that movie?
Wait, what the fuck?
Why is this in here?
"It's Alive one, two and three"
This has nothing to do with anything
And up next in The Search For The Worst is...
Oh, fuck!
'The Bat People' more like 'The Huge Lie of a Movie...People'
So, how bad did this look to you?
Maybe it looked good in your eyes
Well, maybe you've already seen it before
Either which way, tell me what you think in the comments section below
Remember to check out my initial viewing of this piece of shit movie
by clicking the annotation or link in description
And as always, thanks for watching
All comments and ratings are very much appreciated
Make sure you check out my other videos
and other channel Jar Media for more content
I'll see you next time
Bye!