I think when I first put this song out, I had a lot of thoughts actually about that.
About like, okay, do you want to put out a song that seemingly promotes drinking, smoking
or whatever?
And then I'm like, wait, but my song 2 On literally does that the entire song.
But from an actual place of, this is fun.
So to me this song is even more interesting because if you delve into what it actually
means, you realize that, okay, maybe that's not the answer.
Maybe that's not the ticket.
And that's truly what this song is about.
It's about the dangers and the darkness associated with these vices.
At the time of my life I was partying all the time.
All the time.
It was, for me, kind of this way to, I guess, numb this pain, this heartache.
I was not in a great place.
So this song was kind of an ode to that, but I kind of wanted it to be kind of hidden in
a way.
I didn't want it to be super obvious that it was kind of a dark theme.
I wanted it to feel like you're partying, like you're having fun, like everybody's out
here just, you know, living it up.
But in actuality, if you really, really listen and really break it down, there's definitely
some darkness, some nuance, some, you know, other stuff underneath.
Just in L.A. and in Hollywood and in that club scene, there's this really weird tension
that happens where everyone is kind of putting on this front, and there's this kind of show
that happens at these clubs and events, where everyone kind of acts like they don't know
each other, but everybody knows everybody.
It's a really, really, really weird thing, and it can definitely be kind of like, "Yo,
am I in the Twilight Zone right now?"
Sometimes you kind of have to be like, "Okay, just breathe.
Just relax.”
"This life ain't something for someone like you and me" is kind of a nuanced line as well.
It can kind of mean several things.
To me, it means several things.
"This life" could specifically be about the actual party scene in L.A., the club scene,
which is something that I think is really fun and have gotten into, but during the more
depressing parts of my life, I've got into way more.
Clear indication that, "This isn't who you are.
This is just the era that you're in."
This life also means just the Hollywood scene in general.
I definitely am a part of this whole machine, and I, as an entertainer, love certain elements
of entertaining and getting in front of my fans.
But at the same time, there's a lot of aspects that I just can't tap into.
When you're out in L.A., especially, you think that you are connecting with people, but there's
this super, super obvious wall that is up between people when they kind of meet in these
social environments.
I think sometimes people, especially me, who kind of operates really transparently and
really authentically all the time, sometimes forgets that people are not always authentic
as well.
You got to kind of keep your guard up because these people out here are snakes.
Starting to feel like there's no chance of breaking though.
That kind of refers to that realization moment when you realize that what you're doing isn't
working for you.
When I initially wrote the song, I had made it to be like a...
A person-B person song.
So there was already this alternate part that I thought would be really cool to have this
kind of call and response.
Cause in my head, I was like, "Okay, I'm in the club.
I'm doing my thing, I'm in my moment.
I'm in my head, and I imagine someone comes over to me and is like, 'Hey girl, drink,
smoke, dance.'
And then I'm like, 'You know what?
That's a good idea!'
So then I join in, I'm like, 'Drink, smoke.'
I really wanted to get a female artist to do it because I just haven't had very many
female collabs.
And I also really wanted to get a British artist to do it because I just thought it
would sound fire.
And Ms. Banks is one of my favorite, favorite, favorite female rappers out of the UK.
She's sick.
She's... all of her stuff is really dope, and she's a really sweet person.
So I sent her the track.
She sent it back and I loved it.
I thought she made the song better, which is always a great goal
You realize that at first you're just like, oh yeah, I just want to have fun right now.
Then you realize, no, I'm actually trying to numb this feeling and so I want it to continue.
I can't wake up tomorrow and feel it again and then you're like, hang on, let's just
go all the way there.
You know, like forever.
I never want to feel this again.
And I think that sometimes when you're in those moments, you kind of feel that way.
Like, this is my way out, but it's really not the way out.
I think a lot of people who have partied have had that experience of when you have that
sobering moment where you're like, yo, I am never drinking again.
Like this went all the way left.
And I remember this one actual really, really, really specific time.
It was during the era I was writing this song, and I went to Delilah, which is really kind
of where this song really takes place.
And I think Drake was having a party there because he always has parties there.
And I was drinking this drink called a Jojo and I don't know what happened.
It was open bar and I just got trashed, absolutely trash.
And for some reason I called my dad and asked him to pick me up.
On the way home I threw up like four times in the car, all over everything.
And I just remember being like, "I'm so sorry dad, I'll never do this again."
And that to me was the worst moment of it all.
And that was like, okay, you need to chill.
The most dangerous snakes are the ones who don't reveal themselves until a little bit
later on.
"We're best friends.
Oh my God, I love you.
Let me come over your house.
Let's do this.
Let's do that.
Let's make a real genuine connection," and then...