INFJ is one of the rarest personality types in the world,
making up less than 3% of the population. They are often referred to as advocates and counselors
because of their strong morals, fair sense of judgment, and deep empathy for others.
They can be incredibly creative and complicated individuals.
And in a world made for sensing types, not many people will posses the capacity
to fully understand them. INFJs often learn to develop shields in order to protect themselves
from the outside world. They often become profoundly private,
preferring to live in their internal thoughts, rather than have to deal with the harsh,
judgmental realities of the societies they inhabit.
The truth is, few will ever really know them, and even fewer will know of their struggles.
So let’s look at 7 problems only an INFJ will understand.
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‘Impossible’ is just a solution they haven’t found
INFJs have Introverted Intuition as a dominant cognitive function.
This gives them the the ability to recognize patterns and foresee
future events and possibilities extremely clearly. Inspiration is what leads them.
This sense of “knowing” can seemingly comes out of the blue, and it can be hard explaining to others.
Ideas for an INFJ comes from their natural inclination to connect symbols, meanings,
events and feelings that are usually inconspicuous.
These ideas tend to be highly idealistic and emotionally driven. Their like expressions,
and when touched or misinterpreted, INFJs can feel extremely misunderstood.
Most people tend to lack the same wild imagination, and can only see ideas in the context
of whats practical. This can be frustrating for an INFJ because for them, impossible is just a
solution they haven’t found. And so inevitably, there will always be a disconnect when trying
to relay their vision to people that just don’t have the same capacity to to see the intangible.
When an INFJs ideas are criticized, it can feel extremely personal and destructive because of
their emotional investment. In their minds they have mapped out many situation and scenarios,
and when it get rejected without much thought, it can feel acutely disheartening.
An INFJ will go into a thinking spiral to further rationalize their own point of view
and make the criticisms sound as nonsensical as possible.
They will secretly use this strategy to maintain their inner peace and uphold their world view.
They set extremely high standards for themselves and others
If you were to listen to an INFJs inner feelings,
most will find it terribly shocking and crude. INFJs are perfectionist to the core,
with often unyielding convictions to achieve, when they set themselves a goal.
Their strong inner morals can also make taking shortcuts utterly unfeasible, as they not only
want to do everything right, but also want to feel it is done in a morally and just way.
While some say work harder, and others work smarter, an INFJ will say work
harder and smarter. However this mindset can result in physical and mental burnout,
as they will usually return to the same routine. Many people often admire INFJs for their ethics,
even though they have a hard time relating to their reasons for working so tirelessly.
INFJs have a deep belief that everyone should be like them.
They believe visions can come to fruition if done thoughtfully,
and those that disagree just haven’t found a good enough motivation. An INFJs will test
peoples ideals in this way, and so they are known for setting a high bar for achievement.
Whilst their standards can seem too high at first, its all for a salient point;
to make a meaningful difference in the world.
They socialize to ‘connect’
INFJs tend to be enigmas when it comes to social settings.
On one hand, they are introverts, so large gatherings can make them uncomfortable,
and as introverts they need their alone time to decompress. On the other, they are deeply
empathetic helpers, so they genuinely love human interaction and listening to people.
Ultimately though, INFJs want to form connections with people that go beyond
shallow chit- chat. Most INFJs prefer one-on-one interactions because of this,
as it allows them the freedom to engage with more thought-provoking and engrossing themes,
and talk about subjects that tend to be off-limits in group settings.
With topics they are passionate about, they can ramble on for as long as someone seems genuinely
interested in the conversation. They also love to help others become the best version of themselves,
so they also relish at the opportunity to problem solve and give advise.
However INFJs need to first develop a level of trust before they allow themselves to
feel comfortable with someone. They generally don’t care for fake pretences. They won’t ask
questions unless they really want to know the answer. They won’t ask how you are or what’s
up because it’s polite — they’ll ask because they care how someone feels and why. They won’t judge
or look at someone like they’re crazy if they launch into a venting session. They’ll listen.
They’re minds are always in motion, even during lapses in conversation. This is why they sometimes
seem to blurt things out of the blue, but it’s not really out of the blue. What more likely happened
is someones last comment reminded them of a summer holiday, which made them think of that dog they
saw playing fetch on the beach, which prompted them to ask about someone favorite dog breed,
even though it had nothing to do with what was being discussed.
They can overthink themselves into an existential crisis
It’s very common for most introverts to struggle with overthinking,
and INFJs being true introverts are certainly no exception.
It can be far too easy for an INFJ to overuse their Introverted Thinking ((Ti) function,
especially in times of stress. An innocent thought about a minor issue can quickly spiral
into a full-blown existential crisis, and once in this crisis, it can be difficult to escape.
If analyzed, the root cause of an INFJs most out of control thoughts,
can usually be whittled down to a lack of a clear vision or purpose.
For example; An INFJ might feel uncomfortable in their job role because its monotonous and boring.
However the underlying cause is an inability to see an overarching purpose for themselves.
Their pursuit to find a resolution can then lead to them to overthink,
overanalyze and eventually, start questioning the point of life itself.
Over time, these crises of thought can dampen their enthusiasm and motivation,
as they search endlessly to find purpose and meaning
They are unconventional leaders
An INFJs comfort zone is generally behind the scenes in a group.
Most tend to have a weariness to criticism and thoughts of self doubt.
They dream to lead, but more often than not, they will hesitate at the opportunity.
However roles with great responsibility comes naturally to INFJs, so it might also be shrewdness
about what it takes to be a good leader that makes them second guess themselves. Society has taught
many of us that good leadership comes from being extroverted, which an INFJ is most definitely not.
This can cause many of us to discount an INFJs ability in this regard, and that
would be a mistake. Although unconventional, INFJs are great architects of inspiration.
If given the freedom, they usually end up being insightful, brilliant leaders
who bring out the best potential in others.
It’s no surprise many careers linked to INFJs are clergy work, teaching and counseling.
Their natural inclination toward human emotions and the ability to sincerely listen
makes them aware and skilled at leading in a way that brings everyone along.
They don’t want to let anyone down
INFJs have Extroverted Feeling (Fe) as a secondary cognitive function.
This causes them to absorb others peoples emotions, and so being around people can
be particularly draining for an INFJ. Whilst most of us need some degree of alone time,
INFJs will generally need more than the average to recharge.
INFJs are also more hyper-aware of their surroundings in general.
Their brains are able to pick up on the most subtle of cues and make a multitude of connections
that their often not even consciously aware of. It is a superpower and also utterly exhausting.
However we live in a world where declining an invite, because one literally does not
have the energy, is seen as a slight. INFJ are hyper-aware of this and do not
want to make anyone feel rejected. This is why they struggle to give themselves
what they need and protect their space without feeling guilty for doing so.
They are hopeless romantics
INFJs are hopeless romantics at their core. This is why existing in societies
where casual dating and meaningless hook-up leaves them bitter and dazed. INFJs like to
take time to build rapport and really find a deeper connection in their relationships.
However this serious exploring can be seen as too serious for most people they encounter.
While it’s certainly no walk in the park being an INFJ, it’s a wonderful personality type to have
and part of what makes you so special. INFJs are insightful, artistic, and open-minded.
They’re great listeners with an admirable capacity for kindness, compassion, and understanding.
So if you’re a INFJ, you should count yourself lucky to be one.