Every once in a while,
we like to do a very official state of the podcast
just to make sure
that the state of the podcast is, in fact, strong.
What can you tell us about the podcast?
How's it?
It's strong.
That's good, that's good. Okay, yeah.
Well I guess that's the end of the segment.
Good night.
We did it.
Okay.
No, I think it's right and proper
that occasionally we check in and see how we're doing.
Yeah.
How we feel about how we're doing.
Yeah.
It's very important. Because as I've said before,
we sort of started this thing on a whim,
and it has grown and continues to grow,
and I think that to be responsible,
we should check in and think,
are we still sticking with our core values
of what this podcast should be?
Right, it's almost like a shareholder call
where we need to be accountable to the listeners
that we are doing our due diligence.
Yeah, now- What's the core values?
Yeah, what are the core values?
I don't know what that means.
This podcast has values at all?
Much less core values? Oh yeah.
I wrote out a very explicit,
almost constitution for this show.
Oh.
When it started, this podcast,
and it's all about how all power flows from me.
Ugh, God.
Pass! You know?
I'm sort of the president and congress.
God.
Oh a dictator?
And the supreme court
And the pharaoh, and your Picasso.
Yeah, okay, well whatever.
No, No, No, its a very intricate chart that I worked out.
My biggest fear is that success can corrupt any enterprise.
And the podcast has been, you know,
I like to be modest,
but it has been quite successful
(Sona hums)
and continues to grow.
It is important to me that we haven't changed in any way.
I became, at the risk of being immodest,
acclimated to success.
Oh, God.
So many years ago.
Ah geeze!
Really in my teens
when I part of a boy band Take nice things
and ruin them.
Oh!
What band was that?
Doing It Right.
Oh.
(Sona laughing)
Oh my...
I was in Doing It Right.
That is weird,
I'm trying to think if I remember that.
Yeah, I wasn't doing it right.
We came out of-
(Sona laughing loudly)
True story,
we were the only boy band to come out of suburban Boston.
What are you doing right?
Doing It Right, yeah.
Are you sure you weren't a failed sitcom pilot?
No, no, no, we were Doing it Right,
and it was me, and a bunch of other guys.
Miles, Elliot.
(Sona laughing)
and, uh...
You couldn't remember the other one?
The other guys weren't great.
Miles and Elliot were terrific.
So you were the Justin Timberlake of Doing it Right?
Oh, I was definitely the Timberlake.
Oh my god.
And we toured.
So, a lot of people don't know that.
I was successful long before you ever saw me
on "Late Night" or I was a Writer.
So how do people not know that if you were successful?
Well it's interesting, we were niche.
I see.
Niche success.
You were "niche success"?
Yeah, we had four real groupies
of people that followed us and came and saw us perform.
So you were like an indie boy band with cred
that wouldn't sell out
to the limelight? No, No
We were an indie boy band with no cred.
Ah.
People, the reviews were atrocious.
(Sona Laughing)
But we mostly, we played shopping malls.
(Matt chuckles)
We did have a couple of great songs.
"We Be Who We Be" was a good one.
(Matt and Sona laugh)
That's a pirate's song.
Yeah.
"We Be Who We Be" by Doing it Right.
Yeah.
"Sex with Me? Yes, Please" was one.
(Matt and Sona Laughing)
It was a question and an answer?
Featuring Yoda?
Sex with me?
Yes please.
(Sona laughing)
And we played along,
and, you know, Miles and Elliot,
the three of us were in sync.
And then there were these other two assholes,
I don't remember their names.
The point I was trying to make
is long before I was a writer,
or anything like that, or anyone knew me,
before I even went to college, when I was a teenager
I was in this band.
The hot years.
Yeah
And we toured a little bit,
So I had some acclaim.
Anyway, I have been inured to getting a swelled head.
I can't get a big ego, just because-
Your ego is so big it can't get any bigger.
No, that's not the point I'm making.
It's just that I'm acclimated to success.
Now you two, there's a danger.
There's a danger that you would change.
And I have to say, in my opinion,
that is the biggest danger to the podcast,
is that Gourley would start to, I don't know,
get a little full of himself.
Or that Sona, you would start to think
"oh, wow, you know, this podcast is nothing without me."
Yeah.
I'm really the one that they tune in for.
And then-
That's probably true though.
And then the problem is,
then the whole thing can go awry.
Right, right.
So when we discuss the state of the podcast,
to me that means, not..
Yeah, I know the numbers are great,
and its growing all the time,
and it's, you know, whatever I guess.
Some people would refer to it as a sensation.
That's not important- Oh, God.
There's no danger of your head getting any bigger.
A sensation?
I'm just reading whatever the trade press.
You're talking nonsense.
But anyway, and I have to say
I think the podcast is strong
because neither one of you has changed.
Right.
Gourley, you are still Gourley
in all your Gourley-ness.
And Sona, you are still a loud, belligerent-
Right.
(Sona sighs)
I think a part of that is
I had no idea anyone was listening to this podcast.
(Sona laughs)
I'm so sorry.
You know how I know people are listening to it?
Not that I,
I know that it's popular. Everywhere I go,
people shout stuff from the podcast at me.
Yeah.
And, which is nice, I like it.
The funniest thing is they'll bring up stuff
from the interviews,
and I won't remember what they're talking about.
And often, some of the things you're just hearing
might have been recorded weeks, if not months ago.
Exactly
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Exactly.
I don't know, I think you,
cause I always am in awe of how grounded you are.
What?
Even though you've had a lot of success.
I know, it pains me to say this.
But I think a lot of it is
even though you get like,
all this, you know, love and adoration when you're out,
when you go home- What?
You know, your family is just like,
like Liza's like "Oh, it's Conan."
And your kids are like "Oh, it's dad."
It's like no one cares.
(Sona laughs)
Trust me, nothing has saved me more more from-
(Conan chuckles)
Nothing has saved my life more
than the total disinterest
and disdain I get
(Sona laughs)
not just at my family at home,
but from my family back in Massachusetts.
You know. Yeah.
(Conan chuckles)
They aren't having it.
They've never been having it.
No one cares.
They don't care.
That's good.
No, I did a show the other night that went really well
and my wife and my daughter came to it,
and by the time I got home,
it's like I never had done anything.
Yeah.
I get in and they are like,
"Ugh, did you take the trash out?"
(Sona laughs)
It literally is.
"Did you put the dog, did you make sure that he peed?"
(Sona laughing)
But remember that show I just did?
The whole crowd was laughing,
and you said I did-
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was twenty minutes ago!"
"Did you put that almond milk away?"
"You leave it out sometimes."
(Matt and Sona laughing)
"Put the fucking almond milk away!"
"Shut the fuck up and go to sleep!"
God. (Sona laughing)
And that's my daughter talking to me,
and she's smoking a cigar.
Oh my god!
I never find myself on your side,
but that seems borderline abusive.
Yeah.
They're very abusive people.
Right.
But anyway, I have to say
that I am very fortunate
that we randomly all found each other
and started this podcast.
And, it has been successful,
but the nicest thing is
that I think you guys are always the same.
You're always going to be the same.
You will never change, for better or worse.
You're trapped with personalities you have been given.
Started off as a compliment,
and then it went down,
but we knew that was going to happen.
I wish you'd just insult us straight away.
And not even do the preamble. No Growth.
I know, you get my hopes up
and then I'm like, oh my god, sincerity.
No.
And then it doesn't.
All joking aside, you guys are the best.
Okay.
Blah Blah.
Oh no.
(Matt mumbles)
I'm just reading what Gourley just slipped me.
(Conan laughs)
Now there's video.
There's gonna be a piece of paper.
(Conan laughs)
You guys are the best, I truly love both of you,
and you're the reason the podcast works.
I donate my salary to your child's college fund.
And my kids.
Well, that's what I meant.
Children's? Oh, it's both of us?
What's the plural of "child's"?
Is it "children's"?
Why are you guys looking at me?
The possessive plural?
I don't know
The Children's Television Workshop.
But, and that's possessive as well as plural?
Well, I find you're getting very possessive right now
with your knowledge of-
Oh, god, that was not good.
I'm so sorry, that was terrible.
We should have gotten out minutes ago.
That was, where this was going was so bad.
Oh my god. You didn't let me finish.
I was going to take it some place brilliant,
but now there isn't time.
Oh, yeah? Let's hear it.
No no, there's no time.
No, we've got time.
No, let's go, we can go back to it.
It's not TV, we literally don't have a limit.
No, we gotta go.
Say it, say the possessive thing again.
Wait, I'm getting a phone call.
No you're not.
(Conan imitates phone ringing)
I'm looking at your phone. Hello?
There is no one on there.
There's video, there's proof there's no.
Oh, okay both Obama's, I'll come meet you now.
Both Obama's?
That's a weird thing to say to the Obama's, but-
(Matt imitates phone ringing)
Oh, it's all four Obama's, including Beau, the dog.
You want Conan to read it? (Conan imitates phone ringing)
Hello?
Seven Obama's?
Seven Obama's we haven't heard of yet?
(Sona laughing)
Oh yeah, I can be there in a second.
(Matt imitates phone ringing)
Twenty Obama's possessive plural?
Where does the apostrophe go?
(Sona laughing)
(Conan imitates phone ringing)
Nine hundred Obama's?
Incredible.
I had no idea, yes,
I'll come to your Hawaiian compound right away.
This is so dumb.
I'd love to be there.
(Matt imitates phone ringing)
One Trump?
No, not interesting.
(Conan and Sona groan)
Oh, what did you do that for?
Ah, political. Nice.
Oh no, we don't do that here.
Wow.
We can in that case.
I think we can.
Sure.
It would have been good
to see where the Obama's riff went.
Yeah, well we will never know now.
I was riveted.
I think we had this a while ago.
I don't know why we didn't land this plane.
I'm just landing it.
I'm landing it, I just dinged-
Please, Sully Sullenberger this.
No, I'm going to do better than that,
I'm putting it on a tarmac.
(Matt chuckles)
You know?
Oh my god.
Well I'm sorry, the guy landed it in a river.
He had no choice!
Yeah
He saved hundreds of people.
If he had looked a little-
You know what?
I'm sick of this "all hail Sullenberger" shit.
I agree, I agree.
If he had looked a little harder,
he'd have found a tarmac.
Yeah.
Tarmac much?
Yeah!
Oh my god.
No I'm sorry,
when I went to piloting school they didn't say
"if you put it in river, it's just as good."
"And we'll call you a hero."
The precision to get it to land.
Didn't Harrison Ford land one on a golf course once?
Oh, yeah, sure.
Well, it's his way of playing golf.
(Matt laughs)
Hasn't he crashed-
He has a golf ball strapped to the landing gear.
Oh my god.
And he has to put it right in the hole.
All right, what have we learned?
What have we learned?
We have a great podcast. Yeah.
No one's personalities have changed.
Right.
The Obama's call me regularly.
(Sona groans)
And there are more of them than you think.
(Matt and Conan laugh)
And I think Sullenberger gets too much credit,
I'm sorry.
The state of the podcast is strong.