Hello, and welcome to "Is it a Good Idea to Microwave This?" I'm your host, Jory Caron.
You know, a lot of you have been writing to tell me, "Jory, you should microwave a pencil, a Dixon Ticonderoga." And I'm gonna Ticond-a-do-it!
Jory: Is it a good idea to microwave this?
Let's find out! Here at the Jory Caron Laboratory, safety is our number-one concern. That's why we hide behind this giant tin foil shield. It's to protect our nuts, because nobody likes roasted nuts!
We also have this face mask, not quite a respirator, and these goggles, not quite a full face mask!
We also have these fans, to circulate the air, and, as always, the GE turntable microwave oven.
Jory: When a regular, conventional oven just can't do it, my microwave oven can! And we'll put in the pencil.
Jon: (singing) Ti-con-der-o-ga!
And I think, in honor of a #2 pencil, it's gonna go in there for two minutes.
Jon: Two minutes! I was thinking the same thing! Have you ever used a #1 pencil?
No, have you ever used a #3?
Jon: No!
Okay then!
Jon: I don't think they exist! But if you know anything about it, leave a comment down below!
Comment down below!
Jon: Down below, just where Jory likes it!
Jory: (unamusedly) Okay, let's go.
Jon: Well, the pencil... Ooh! That was neat!
Jon: This pencil is awesome! See, it's such a big package in such a little... Wait- no. Scratch that! Reverse it! Such a big show in a little package.
Jon: The metal inside the pencil, on the end of it, and the graphite stick in the middle- that sparked and then caught the pencil on fire, so what you're looking at now is a flaming stick! A flaming pencil stick! And, as a result, plasma!
Jory: Now, the pen is mightier than the sword. I wonder- is a pencil mightier than a microwave? Right now, I'm saying, "Microwave, 1; pencil, 0!"
Jon: It looks really cool, though, huh?
Jory: It's really bright.
Jon: Look at that thing go! That thing is getting, like, white-hot in there!
Jory: I sure hope it doesn't break the turntable.
Jon: You think it has enough heat to do that? There's only a few seconds left. I don't think it'll get a chance.
Jon: Whoo! Plasma! Look at it go!
Jon: Alright, Jory, let's go grade your paper!
Jory: Yeah...
Jon: Both gloves! There might not be much left of the pencil, but let's find out. What?! Do you see what I see?
Jory and Jon: (singing) Do you see what I see?
Jon: That is the remains of the pencil. You can still see the graphite stick, but the pencil is completely charred away.
Jory: I guess I've already given away the results of this...
Jon: You're brushing it into the "good idea box", which means it was a good idea! I'm so honored, Jory! We don't have many of those on the show.
Jory: Yeah, yeah, I know...
Jory: In today's world, a lot of people are using mechanical pencils, right?
Jon: I do!
Jory: Say you run out of graphite in your mechanical pencil. Well, you could easily harvest your graphite from a normal pencil!
Jon: By sticking it in the microwave!
Jory: Exactly!
Jon: Jory, you are such a good farmer! You are able to harvest a crop of anything in your house!
Jory: Exactly!
Jon: If you want some red, sticky goo, go to the lava lamp! A new epoxy sealant compound? Go to the Gobstoppers!
That's a good point! It really smells like pencil shavings in here.
Jon: It's nice, it's a nice smell.
Jory: Eh...
Jon: It's not the best, but it's certainly not the worst, certainly!
Yeah. So, that's about it for "Is it a Good Idea to Microwave This?" I'm your host, Jory Caron.
*end credits play*
Jory: What am I gonna do? Oh, no! I'm out of graphite! I can't use it, blah, blah, blah!