- Let's face it.
Deliveries from Amazon make it feel like
it's Christmas all year round.
- Ooh, I got a package!
- But can our favorite online retailer
give us the gift of fab when it really counts?
- A.k.a shopping for formal dresses.
- [Jen] It's Ladylike and today we're buying
formal wear off of Amazon.
- I pretty much only online shop.
I don't like to physically go the mall.
- I've definitely never bought a formal dress
off of an online website.
- When I buy clothes, they are almost exclusively
purchased online because they do not sell
fabulous clothes for me in stores.
- I'm terrible at shopping for clothes online.
My arms are really long, my torso's really short,
and my legs just go on for days.
- I always tell myself like,
"oh my god this is gonna be so cute,"
and then half the stuff I buy
just doesn't fit my boobs the way that I want it to.
- I'm usually going for pants, a sport coat,
a blazer, maybe a bow tie.
Usually I do have to go into the store,
occasionally shop in the little boy section
and try and find stuff that fits me.
- Buying pants is a goddamn nightmare.
Don't even get me started on dresses
because like, I will find like a cute bodycon mini dress
and I'll get it to me and it will be like Vaginatown, USA.
- In my head, Amazon is a place where you buy home goods.
Amazon, formal dress, like the two
don't really go together in my mind,
so I'm a little worried.
- Always read customer reviews.
I am extremely skeptical of brands I don't know well.
Here's the thing about Amazon.
It's sort of the Wild West junk drawer of brands.
There are some quality brands there.
There's also an old man date
you haven't looked at in 10 years.
- I buy books on Amazon, I buy knives on Amazon,
I buy eye cream on Amazon.
Amazon doesn't really know what to recommend to me.
It's like do you want this fancy moisturizer
or do you want this torch?
- I'll buy anything if I can get it
shipped to me in two days.
- Our beautiful manager and lovely angel, Thesbie,
is planning a team outing for us
where we're going to the Magic Castle.
- What?! We're going to the Magic Castle?
You bury the lid on this whole video.
- So we're going to order formal dresses off of Amazon
and then wear them to the Magic Castle.
- [Devin] It's literally a castle in Hollywood,
and it's like very old-timey.
There's all these magicians who are there
who put on shows and you can go to this bar
and there's a ghost that plays the piano.
- I don't know if you know this about me,
I fucking love magic.
- I would love to look like a magician.
That'd be so fun.
I hope they think I'm one of their peers.
- What we're all kind of going for
are like formal, like vampy Hollywood type looks.
You can't fake that.
- All right, let's shop!
- Plus vintage dresses.
- Shout out to anyone whose save list is like 200 items.
That's me.
- Let's just put formal wear into the search bar
and see what they come up with.
I feel like I inherited the taste of my mother
which is when it comes to formal wear I'm like,
everybody dress like you're going to a funeral.
Just so much black.
- Ooh, I like this mermaid gown.
They have emerald colors, just my vibe.
- Oh, I like halters.
They make my shoulders look nice.
Ooh, should I get something with highest slit?
- I'm seeing a lot of $22,
so I'm just gonna put prices high to low
and then we'll scroll down a bit.
- Formal dresses that cost less than $50
give me a lot of pause.
It makes me wonder what about their construction
is being skimmed on.
- Suit for women.
Swimsuit.
Nope.
Ooh, what if they have a tuxedo romper?
These are all for babies, tuxedo rompers for babies.
I do like rompers.
I think it's 'cause they're flowy.
They're hard to pee in.
- Okay, I'm gonna redo my search
to say formal jumpsuits.
When I buy jumpsuits, they either look really, really good,
or just look like a baby wearing a onesie.
This one is 15.99.
Oh should I try to get something that's a little dippy?
- [Devin] Yeah, we never see cleave from you!
- So I've decided to search for dresses
that are no cheaper than $50
'cause I don't wanna get a dress that's just gonna be like,
it's four plastic bags, and there's a rat inside.
- There's a $3,500 dress.
I could get an LED wedding dress?
"Be the first to review this item."
Well no shit no one's bought that.
- I thought I was ready to buy and then I realized
that some of these dresses look very different
on the Amazon models than they do
on the people who actually bought the dresses
and sent in photos for reviews.
I just don't know what to expect.
I don't like to be deceived.
- So I have 1
2,
3,
4,
5 options.
- I kinda want this.
I don't know if it runs in my size.
I don't think this is gonna fit me.
- No, I don't want a swimsuit.
Maybe I'll just get that romper.
There's only one review.
- I think I like that one.
Typically don't do this strapless thing,
so let's try this out.
Usually my default is to go to extra small
if they don't offer number sizes.
- The yellow is really fun actually.
Such booty! - Much booty.
- I don't have that much juice!
- Let's see if $100 to $150 gets a little bit easier here.
- I don't know if I should do
the red dress or the apricot one.
I kinda like apricot, I think it will be nice
on my skin tone.
- So we've picked a yellow jumpsuit
that doesn't have any reviews.
Realizing a little bit that I don't quite know my sizes.
- There is no standard size chart
because every single brand has a different idea
as to what their size measurements are.
- I'm like nowhere near finding something
that I'm even excited about.
So I'm just going to put a pin in this,
and circle back and find a dress later tonight.
- I found a dress!
I'm still a little skeptical about this dress,
but maybe it's cute, we don't know.
- So this dress is $58.
Hopefully it's all that it's cracked up to be
'cause it looks great on these models.
- It costs 23 dollars and 99 cents.
Hopefully I have enough booty to fill it out.
- There are two reviews.
"Be aware the entire bodice is see-through"
"With only two round cups to cover the breast."
Let's just do it.
- Added to cart.
I am very excited.
Can't wait to get my maybe fitting tuxedo suit romper.
- So the dress in the color that I want...
It's sold out.
- It's okay. (dramatic music)
- Why would they show it to me and it not be there?
What I'm gonna do is I'm just gonna get a size small.
Hopefully it fits, if not I'm gonna get it tailored.
Let's see if Amazon can deliver.
(trippy music)
- So we're going to the Magic Castle tonight
but we haven't tried on our dresses yet.
So we gotta try these on.
The Magic Castle actually has a really strict dress code.
The women have to wear dresses or skirts.
- If they are wearing pants,
it has to be not denim and they need to have a blazer.
Hopefully these sizes are accurate enough
that we can fit into them and feel like it's working
and we can wear it to this very dress code-y event.
- I'm getting naked!
- We also don't have a curtain,
so we're just gonna hide behind racks of clothes
and try to film what's happening.
- Wow!
Feels like a life preserver was just handed to me.
Devin, you gotta come out. - No.
- Devin... - It's a little...
- [Kristin] Oh.
- When I got it I was like,
"Wow, this looks teeny tiny."
It's a little too much.
- [Kristin] Turn around, do it from the back.
Okay from the back it's actually...
Oh wow I can see, it's like...
- I have to not wear underwear with it.
I thought it was gonna be like down here.
Why is this entire leg out?
Like am I gonna need to lunge?
The cut comes up to here and my vagina
is just a little bit far west.
- [Kristin] Pull it down a little bit actually.
So now there's less gapping.
- I don't think I bought this in the incorrect size
because these feel like they're about to slide off my chest.
- [Kristin] I think you look really good.
I mean, the material does kinda look like a seatbelt.
- I'm definitely strapped in.
It's my first time trying on a bandage dress.
Where are my boobs supposed to go?
Are they supposed to go here?
- [Kristin] That's actually where they're supposed to go,
you figured it out.
- The problem is I don't think they'll stay here.
My boobs are like your boobs Kristen,
where they both look to East to West.
- I opened my dress and it was like a prom piñata exploded.
It came in a tiny package and it was like those
little dinosaur sponges that you pour water on
and all of a sudden they're like...
(explosion noises)
But I tried this on and it fit like, perfectly.
I am a beautiful princess.
It makes my tits look fantastic.
These are the golden globes right here.
This dress is like, who is she?
There is a big difference between my dress and your dress.
- What party are we going to?
- A lot of the little gems keep flipping over.
So every so often I have to go through and be like,
"Nope, shiny side up."
These are not real jewels, I keep the real jewels at home.
I don't, I have no jewels.
Don't rob me.
- When I initially was going to order the dress,
I was gonna order it in an extra small,
but they didn't have an extra small so I ordered a small.
Lo and behold, it fit me perfectly.
It actually is very tight.
I probably could have used a medium, to be honest.
You absolutely can't wear underwear with this dress.
You just gotta go bare bodied underneath,
which I'm fine with.
I can move around, like I actually don't feel
constricted at all even though it is really tight,
it's very stretchy.
I like, never wear really tight things.
The way I'm standing right now
just shows you how uncomfortable I am in a bodycon dress.
I just feel like I just want no one to look at me.
I think it looked exactly the way it did
in the photo as it did on my body.
- [Kristin] I don't wanna say do a spin
'cause that's kind of a creepy phrase
but like... - Oh, no!
- [Kristin] Fred, you look really beautiful.
- Thank you Kristin!
- I feel like a penguin.
- [Kristin] What's going on over here?
- First of all, I don't understand,
how am I supposed to get into the neck?
- [Kristin] Wait, do you need help?
- When I put it on, it was clear that it was one piece,
so sort of like a bathing suit.
I should have known that this would have been an issue
before I purchased it, but I wasn't thinking.
I look like a magician.
I don't even need to see myself, I already fucking know.
I don't think I can do this.
How am I supposed to get in the hole?
- [Kristin] Oh, it's a collar.
- Take your arms out
and move this to the front.
- I assumed that this would be really easy
to wear a shirt underneath this one piece.
But in reality, it's built for you
to be bare chested underneath the one piece
and it's supposed to be like kinda sexy.
I don't wanna do that.
When I tried to wear a shirt underneath the one piece,
it was bunchy and it got caught.
The buttons on this garment are like,
pretty cheaply applied, but the nice thing is
it's right where all four of my nipples are,
so I'll never forget.
- There's a lot happening on this jumpsuit.
When I sit, it goes into my neck.
- Fun! - So that's a good thing.
It's like super transparent.
That's what it looks like on me.
It's like, I've never worn a jumpsuit that's so tight
and spandex. - And sheer.
- And sheer. - And yellow.
- And bright yellow! - It's a lot of first for you.
- When I put it on, I just look like one of those little
inflatable men that flies around a car dealership.
- [Kristin] It's a nice color on you though.
- Thank you.
I would need like a nude colored seamless underwear,
and like substantial pasties and stuff
because it's just...
I had no idea it was gonna be this thin.
Usually my stuff is tighter,
it's a little bit thicker
like these bandage dresses.
And I don't want everyone to see my little stripe undies.
Not tonight.
- [Kristin] So Devin, are you gonna wear yours?
- I'll wear mine, but I'm wearing mine with this jacket.
There's just a little bit too much potential slippage.
- [Kristin] And Fred, you're gonna wear yours.
- I'm wearing mine.
- Jen, are you wearing yours? - Imma think about it.
- And you're a no? - I don't have the means
to wear this dress right now. - I think that's fair.
- I did bring an alternate jumpsuit
so that I could stay in the jumpsuit universe,
but that's what I'll wear tonight.
- We're here getting ready to go at work.
Kristin's going to her debutante ball.
I'm going to Kim Kardashian's birthday party.
Okay, we're here at the Magic Castle.
All dressed up.
Looking fancy.
- Look at my look!
Oop, oop oop. (record scratch)
Just gonna shimmy in this mirror.
Look at these fancy ladies
getting ready for a night of wonder and mystery.
- Magic castle!
- Spooky! - Spooky!
We're not allowed to take photos or videos
while we're in there, so this is the only proof
that we are wearing our...
Disco ball boobs!
- The magic castle was great.
We got to magic, we looked nice.
I had some issues 'cause apparently my shoes
weren't formal enough, but they let me in.
All in all, very fun night.
- I'll tell you, walking around the magic castle,
I kinda felt...
Exposed?
I was always putting my jacket in front of me.
It was really cold, so I was worried about feeling nipply.
Also, we had a nice dinner.
When you're wearing a tight dress
and you're trying to eat a nice meal,
it feels like you're trying to put
russet potatoes in a tube sock.
- I didn't wear my jumpsuit to the Magic Castle.
It was just not the time nor the place.
- I ended up not wearing my outfit to the Magic Castle.
I think I didn't realize what type of material it would be.
I don't know if this would even qualify
as like that formal of an outfit.
- First of all, this thing is very long.
Every time I had to go anywhere,
I had to like hitch up my skirts
like I was one of the evil step sisters in Cinderella.
Why do they walk like that?
Both the evil stepsisters,
they like, walk with like their butts shoved out,
and they're like...
Also while in the Magic Castle, I was just like,
"I am the most overdressed of anyone here"
"And it's not even close."
- When I wore it on our team outing,
I wore it with a fur shawl/ overcoat.
That made me feel a lot more comfortable in the dress
because it was very bodycon, it was very tight,
you could see every crevice and cranny.
That's not how I roll, typically.
So I would wear the dress again,
but only with a shawl of some type.
- If I ever need a fuck you dress,
I can just whip this little bad boy out,
put on some heels, and a dark lip and say...
(tongue click)
- This isn't a bad article of clothing,
I just wanted it to be something that it wasn't.
We did look on Amazon for a long time
for something that would make me feel comfortable
and felt like it could be a little bit
more masculine and formal.
I think this kinda just speaks to how difficult it is
to find convenient and affordable options
if you are someone who wants to
present a little bit more masculinely.
- Buying on Amazon is not the problem,
this particular piece of clothing is the problem.
But I can't knock it because it was dirt cheap
and I didn't have to go anywhere.
- I think you get what you pay for when it comes to Amazon.
You might wanna pay a little bit more for peace of mind.
- Beautiful color, I definitely wanna get more
of this color, I know that now.
- I may be really old school, but I kinda like
having my shopping compartmentalized.
ASOS and Zara are where I buy clothes.
Amazon is where I buy electronics and cat food.
So I think I might stick to that.
- I would order a dress off Amazon again.
Somehow, this went really well.
This is an amazing plus size prom option.
Honestly this is way better than the dress
I wore to my prom.
- I would absolutely buy a formal dress on Amazon again.
Sometimes money is tight, and so is time.
Like there are a lot of last minute events that come up
and if you have Amazon Prime,
you can get those dresses in a jiffy.
- Well I'm gonna go take this off
in favor of putting on something way more comfortable.
(upbeat music) - We've got merch!
- Click here to buy it!
- Spoons! - Spoons!
- Spoons!
- [All] Spoons...