- Super Bowl of course coming up this week, Anthony.
- Who cares? - But first headline.
- Who cares about the Super Bowl?
- Is from the Real Bowl, it's called the Pro Bowl.
It went down. - The only bowl I care about
I eat my cereal with my hands,
'cause the only bowl I care about
(laughter)
is the Pro Bowl.
I just throw dog food on the floor.
(laughter)
'Cause I'm all about the Pro Bowl.
- Lot of the football world this week.
- I don't own a toilet.
(female laughter)
- Just shits on the ground.
In the corner. - There's only one
bowl I care about and it's the Pro Bowl.
It's what the NFL season is geared towards,
it's what it's all about.
Everything is just all about the Pro Bowl
and you know what, that wasn't always the case.
Back when it was in Hawaii after the Super Bowl,
it wasn't that big of deal,
now that it's in between the end of the playoffs
and the Super Bowl and it's in Orlando,
the best of America, now it's number one.
- There is some concern this week
that the Pro Bowl was so exciting,
people are really not going to be into the Super Bowl
anymore. - It was, it was.
I mean, everyone talking about the one play.
You know and we're not gonna get into it.
We're not gonna get into the xs and os
but it was a beautifully coached game
and the players showed a real passion.
I think that's what people are gonna be talking about,
even during the Super Bowl, is how much passion.
I mean, those guys left it all out there on the field.
- All on the field.
You often talk about oooh there's not as much pass rush
in the Pro Bowl, not this Pro Bowl.
- Oh my God, this Pro Bowl.
It was almost like the offense was pass rushing.
Do you know what I mean?
They were so into it
and just the stats, I mean, unbelievable.
It was like, the thing about the NBA All Star Game,
how much fun that is and how much offense there is
and then you think like the NHL All Star Game.
Imagine if the basketball players
had to put on ice skates.
That's what this Pro Bowl was like.
- And what a tough week really for Stephen A. Smith
who's famous for being a Cowboys hater
and Jason Garrett, especially is a guy,
the coach of the Cowboys that he picks on quite a bit.
After watching what Jason Garrett did
on Sunday night in Orlando, case closed.
- Jason Garrett saved his job,
probably saved a lot of jobs during that Pro Bowl
and, you know, I don't have the final score in front of me
but it was amazing.
(laughter)
I just love the Pro Bowl more than anything.
I wish they could play it twice a year.
And the skills competition, are you kiddin' me?
All those skills, every one of them.
There wasn't a single skill that I was like
that's more luck or a gift, it was all skills.
- What throws. - What throws what catches.
- What catches. - Oh my god.
- Some diving plays.
- They really put the pro in Pro Bowl this year.
- John Coughlin was a two time United States pairs champion
in figure skating, Anthony, died by suicide last week
in Kansas City, Missouri.
He had recently been suspended from U.S. figure skating.
He was 33 years old.
- So this had nothing to do with
the Kansas City losing to the Patriots,
this was just, do you know why he?
- It happened shortly thereafter, yes.
- And what was he suspended for?
- Officially there's not a reason,
but there has been some reporting that
there were sexual assault allegations
that he was suffering from.
- Yes, I love, listen suicide is an important topic,
a very serious topic, but when someone's just like
"I screwed up so bad that I'm pulling the plug."
I think it's great.
I always think you're just like
I don't wanna go through a trial,
you know what I mean?
I don't wanna have to explain this to my mom.
I'm just gonna go.
I always think that's great.
'Cause at first it was like, "Oh what happened?
This is some horrible tragedy."
This guy was like a champion and worked with,
you know, trained people.
I'm sure kids were involved in some way
but you're just like "Oh, you guys want me to
get punished for this?
You know what, I got plans of my own
and I'm just gonna see you all later.
See you on the other side."
I find that delightful.
- I was wondering where you could find
the lightness in this story going in,
but I do find myself laughing at your ridiculous
statements. - Like I believe,
when people are like, "Oh this person's a child molester,
why didn't they just kill themselves?"
I'm like, yeah, I understand that, I agree with that.
But when you kill yourself afterwards
it's just kinda like "I'm not gonna let you guys win.
Yeah, I sexually assaulted all these people
and I'm not gonna face any punishment for it, I'm out.
I didn't even like ice skating anyway."
- Let's move on to a lighter subject.
Let's talk about a nurse in the Phoenix area
who was arrested this week after
it was found out he raped and impregnated a woman
in a vegetative state.
- Yep, a couple weeks ago you probably heard
about the story, there was a woman in a coma
and she got Kill Bill'd.
She was in a coma and all of a sudden she's pregnant
and they're like "Oh, uh, we're in trouble.
The hospital is in trouble, we're gonna
get to the bottom of this."
And you knew they were gonna solve it right away
because all you do, is you look for the happiest nurse.
(laughter)
There's only so many people going in and out of that room,
which one's the happiest?
He did it.
I'm surprised this guy didn't pull a figure skater
and just be like, "I'm not gonna.
I don't wanna have to answer these questions.
I don't have to look someone in the eye over this."
But I'm glad they did get him.
Although, like, okay. - It was at one
of those facilities, like an assisted care facility.
- Sure, you're in a coma,
I'm a big fan of like, if I'm in a coma, pull the plug,
I don't wanna live like this.
Even if they're like, there's some rough possibility
in 20 years they'll figure it out.
If I'm asleep for more than 24 hours,
I'm out, you know what I mean?
- Who's in charge right now?
Do you have it written down that?
- I do not have a living will,
I've just told enough people that I hope
that they would be like, "He wouldn't want this."
But when I do do a will, I will say,
you know, pull the plug immediately.
- Get on that. - Yeah.
But if I was in a coma, you know what,
do what you want.
(laughter)
You know what I mean,
maybe, I'm not gonna say that it's a good thing,
but I'm not worried about it.
It's like necrophilia.
Who's the victim, you know?
- Well maybe the families of the body.
- If you see it, yeah, sure,
otherwise, you have no idea.
But necrophilia's better than having sex
with someone in a coma.
- Like in what way? - Because the
one person's dead and one person is alive.
But, uh. - What?
- It's less of a victim thing, do you know what I mean?
So you guys are telling me if you were in a coma.
Maybe I'll do this, I'll have a living will,
but if I am just in a coma for a little while,
do what you want to me.
- That's part of the will. - Or would you guys
be like, "Don't touch me."
- I mean. - Would you let
someone have sex with you if you were in a coma.
- Probably not, I mean I'd hope not.
That woman's impregnated now.
- Yeah, that's true.
I mean, that's a bummer.
- If you're gonna have sex with someone in a coma,
use protection.
- That's a bummer for that. - It finally occurs
saying "Well, that's true, that's a bummer."
- Yeah, I didn't think about the kid
who comes out of it.
I just assumed the pregnancy wouldn't go that far.
- No, she just had the baby.
- She just had the baby?
- Is she still in a coma?
- Yeah. - What?
- I just like that when - The baby's doing well.
- When they saw the bump
they were just like, "Oh, jeez.
Oh we're getting a talking to.
There's gonna be a meeting at corporate over this."
You can't do it, nurses.
This is why male nurses get a bad rap.
'Cause whenever a nurse kills a bunch of patients,
it's always a female nurse
but whenever a nurse knocks up someone in a coma
it's always a dude.
Why is that?
(intense rock music)