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When I Beat A Bully At His Own Game With A High Strength Wizard
Hi everyone.
All Things DnD is back with another story.
Some people are bullies in real life and some people are bullies at the game table.
This story is the best example of a bully getting what they deserve in the best way
possible.
Seriously, this brilliant move needs to be in history books on how to handle a bully
the right way.
Tell us about the times you handled a bully after listening to this fantastic tale:
For a bit of backstory; I was a part of a large D&D Discord group that has since dissolved.
It had 3 DMs, which we'll call Red Beard, Blue Beard, and Grey Beard.
Grey Beard wasn't the worst DM in the world, but he was an old school player and he had
developed a certain mentality; if your character can do something, then they can do it; just
don't cry to him when it bites you in the ass.
On paper, this doesn't sound bad, but I'm sure if you've played with problem players,
you'll know just how bad that is.
Cue our Problem Player.
His name for this story will be Fred.
Fred liked to play Paladins.
Nothing too weird, I like to play Dwarfs.
The problem was that Fred would always try to intimidate the other players, especially
when it came to loot.
No, I don't mean rolling for Intimidation, I mean his character would just pick up their
weapon, point it at someone and say something along the lines of, "if you don't give me
that piece of gold, I will end you".
Super edgy.
Grey Beard always enabled this; after all, there was nothing really stopping Fred from
doing this, so of course he would.
And whenever Grey Beard DM'ed, Fred would get progressively worse.
You just bought a Wand?
Fred threatened you with his Greatsword.
Your character doesn't wanna trigger the traps?
Fred will inspire you with his Warhammer.
Your character can play music?
Fred "persuaded" you to play his favorite song with his Greateaxe.
As someone who hates the idea of being a sidekick to someone else, this rubbed me the wrong
way, not helped by the fact that I was that bard that Fred persuaded, and my defiance
was paid for with my blood.
And I'm sure that did nothing to inspire a revolt against Fred.
He never did this with the other two DMs; they'd have no patience for it.
But he'd make note of who didn't go along with Fred and when he could, he'd be sure
to "bully" them harder when they played with Grey Beard again.
People complained to Grey Beard, but he saw nothing wrong.
They complained to Red and Blue Beard, but as long as Fred didn't try this crap in their
games, they didn't care.
And if nobody wanted to play with Fred then, well, he'd just get to play solo with whoever
DM was running a game at the time, so there was no real winning.
It was just that everyone felt pity for whoever was stuck at Fred's digital table.
Cue the reason why this Discord was born: to play a D&D epic!
The three DMs were hosting a big adventure and split the 12 players into parties of 4.
And wouldn't you know it, I drew the short straw and was stuck playing at Grey Beard's
table with Fred.
If we didn't play, we'd be left out for the rest of the epic.
And so began rolling characters.
My original plan was to just play a Paladin and be the unrelenting shield to Fred's spear,
but as I began to put down my stats, I realized something: that's not the character I wanted
to play.
I had no intention of sacrificing my enjoyment just to try and stop Fred.
I thought about just quitting the server, when an idea came to mind.
First, I arranged my stats and made myself Human.
With some lucky Roles, I had created my ideal Wizard.
My INT with 15.
Not bad.
But my STR was a very respectable 17.
Then, I went to the DMs.
I asked the DMs if my character could be decked out with a bunch of rings.
Grey Beard asked, “Like...magic items?”
“No, just rings.
They can be shiny and expensive or just cheap bands with marbles, doesn't matter to me.”
Red Beard asked to see my character sheet.
And after a little scrutiny it was handed over to Blue beard for a final ruling.
He said, “Okay, this all checks out.
You can have the rings, but they can't be magic or expensive.”
“Perfect.
But I wanna be able to bluff and play them up like they are.”
Grey Beard said “Fine, fine.”
Which I had expected because after all at his table pretty much anything goes.
And so, the game had begun.
The Grey Beard party had introduced themselves in a tavern.
They were...
Fred - The Human Paladin Tod - An Elf Bard
Joe - A Halfling Rogue
Fred was making some very menacing threats to the poor Halfling, making sure that Joe
was aware that if he so much as sneezed without his say so, then he'd meet Fred's Greatsword.
And then, my character walked in.
He swaggered right in, quarterstaff in one hand, and his hands decorated in beautiful,
gem-encrusted rings (except they were just well-polished marbles, but I made sure to
detail their faux opulence.)
I even said he described them as his "rings of power" as he chased off a few rubbernecking
thieves as I sat at the bar.
I watched Fred's character walk over to me like a moth to a flame.
“Those are some nice rings you got there.”
Fred said with a familiar gleam of greed in his eyes.
“Oh, these?
Thank you.
I snatched them from a Wizard King on a far away continent called Eshus.
See, I was an apprentice of his and-”
Before I could finish my fake backstory, I watched Fred pick up his Greatsword and put
it on the bar counter.
“I'll be taking them now.”
Fred said in his most fake deep threatening voice.
“Oh?
And why would I be giving them to you?”
I asked probably a little too smugly.
I was smirking.
I couldn't see Fred's face because this was a voice chat and not a video call, but I could
hear him clench his teeth in what I only thought was a malicious grin.
“I pick up my sword and get ready to-” Fred began before I interrupted him.
“No, no no.
Slow your roll there friend.
I never said I wouldn't give them to you, just asked for a why.
But if you want them so badly, let's make a deal.
We'll compete in a contest of my choice.
You win, you get my rings.
I win, I get your sword.”
“And...just what is this contest?”
Fred asked intrigued by my proposition.
“Arm wrestling.”
The entire table was stunned, dumb with silence.
I was grinning ear to ear, and listened intently.
Fred recovered from his stunned silence and asked, “...Are...you being serious?”
“As a heart attack.”
I replied.
Fred broke out into laughter.
He was a Paladin after all and I was a Wizard.
On paper, he should've won this contest, after all.
The game was just gonna be a strength check; the highest roll would win.
“Alright, I rolled a 16, but-” I started to say when Fred shouted over me.
“Ha!
I rolled a 15, but since I've got a +2 in my Strength, I got a 17, and I win!”
“...As I was saying.
I rolled a 16, but since I have a +3, it's a 19.
So it sounds like I win.”
Grey Beard chimed in, “Alright, Black wins.
Fred, give him your sword.”
“Wait, what?!
No!
What kind of bullshit is this?!
What kind of Wizard has a +3 in Strength!”
Fred was almost shouting in disbelief.
“I do.”
I then show Fred my character sheet properly.
“You have a 17 in Strength?!
Why?!
That makes no sense?!”
He was absolutely raging.
I wanted to say "because I knew you'd pull this crap, Fred".
But instead, I said, “To study the elements of the universe,
one cannot just expand their mind.
The body needs to be worked as well.
It just turns out that even though I'm a Wizard, I excelled in training my body.”
“Then why aren't you a Warrior?!
You can't even use that Sword!”
“Sure I can.
I can't use my Proficiency Bonus, but I can still swing the sword around.”
“He's right, Fred.”
Grey Beard said.
Fred proceeded to have a meltdown, demanding “his” or now, my, sword back, but I wouldn't
lament.
Fred wanted Grey Beard to force me to give it back, but he wouldn't budge either.
Eventually, I told Fred that he could have the sword back if he just paid me 200 Gold.
Not only did he NOT have that money, but there was no way he'd pay that much for a standard
item.
Eventually, his tantrum got on Grey Beard's nerves and he kicked him out of the session,
telling him to cool off and come back when he gets his act together.
Fred never came back and left the server.
And that is why I always play Wizards with high Strength.
Absolutely brilliant.
I actually really want to play a high strength wizard that punches things all the time and
then when it has to happen, boom magic.
I’m so glad Fred got what he deserved.
This is the best handled revenge story I’ve ever come across.
Bravo.
Please let us know what you think and comment below!
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