- No more putting this off.
It's time to put your grown-up pants on and figure out
how to get better with your money and make healthy changes.
So here's how.
(upbeat music)
Hey, everyone! Welcome to The Rachel Cruze Show.
Less than one in three Americans
are considered financially healthy.
And that's according to the Financial Health Network
who conducted a study late last year
when the economy was booming, and well
before COVID-19 put many Americans' incomes at risk.
And this is a great time for you guys
to reevaluate your financial health, and a good time to look
into your mental health too.
So, in today's episode, I'm going to go over five ways
you can improve your financial health starting today,
and I asked you guys
how the pandemic affected your finances. But first, I'm here
with emotional wellness and relationship expert
and our newest Ramsey Personality, Dr. John Delony.
John, thanks for being here.
- Thank you for having me.
- Okay, so you're new to Ramsey Solutions.
- Yes.
- Welcome. So glad you're here.
- Thank you.
- It's great. How's it been?
- I'm on TV now. That's pretty awesome. It's been good. It's been good.
- Okay, so tell me a little bit about your story
and what you were doing before you came here.
- I spent the last 15 or 16 years working at colleges
and universities. And before that, I was a high school teacher
and elementary school teacher.
But the last, pretty much two decades, I've been working
in crisis response. And when folks, when the wheels fall off
of people's wagons, then I'm there with them.
And then I've done some crisis work with police departments
and SWAT teams, and just seeing behind the scenes
when things get really hard for folks.
- Yeah, and their emotional and mental health is big—
- Oh man. Yeah, that's right.
- on your plate. And you've studied that.
You have how many degrees?
- I have a Ph.D. in education, and I have a Ph.D. in counseling.
- Yes, so you deal with people on all spectrums
when it comes— - All over the place.
- to their emotional health. So, that's exactly
why I wanted him on today's episode
because we're gonna be talking about ways
to become financially healthy.
And I've been doing a lot of research the past year
over the whys behind our spending habits. So, the first step,
when it comes to improving your financial health,
is to determine where you're starting from emotionally.
So, determining that is really big when it comes
to tackling your money, because the emotional part is huge.
- I'm so glad you're saying that. Yes.
- Okay, so tell me . . . Start from the beginning.
How do you feel the way people grew up, money or not,
just in general, how their backgrounds affect them today?
- The best way I've heard it explained
is Brene Brown says that genetics loads the gun
and environment pulls the trigger.
Everything about how we react, how we experience holidays,
the way we get angry, the way we get sad or happy,
the way we spend money, all that is a result of partly
how we're wired, but often how we see
and experience our parents, our friends, our cousins,
our church community, those people around us.
And so, it paints the picture of what life looks like
and then we just automatically live into that picture.
And so much of those thoughts and actions
and behaviors become automated.
- And it's wild. Because for me, I'm like,
you don't even realize it until you talk to a counselor
or a psychologist.
I mean, you really talk someone who studies this well,
and they can just pull a thread,
and you realize that there's so many layers to us as humans,
and a lot of it does start with childhood.
- Well, and remember when you moved in
with your first roommate as a freshman in college,
it was like, whoa, that's not how you put clothes
in the drawer. And that's not how
you brush your teeth, weirdo. Right?
And that's what this, kind of the first collision
that many of us have. Or if you move to new home,
or you get a stepsister or a stepbrother,
that's when you start to realize,
whoa, the way I did it isn't the right way,
it's just a different way.
- Yes. So good. Okay, so something you say that I love
is that the two things you can control are your thoughts
and your actions.
So, when it comes to people, when people hear that,
how do you help change habits in people
to really believe that and see that that's true?
- Often, when I see folks trying to change habits,
is they focus on a destination. Like where they're gonna go
or a goal. And they start doubling down on their actions.
Like, I wanna lose weight, so I'm gonna work out.
I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do this.
And we forget that thoughts are automated too.
And so, thoughts are things that just pop
into our heads all day long, and they often skew
toward protecting us from other things, right?
So, we often focus on, I need to work out.
I need to do this. I need to do this.
We forget that . . . I grabbed a colleague's donut.
Well, I'm out today, so I'm gonna have seven burritos
and four hot dogs.
- It just plays so deeply. - That's right.
Or, I bought that one latte on the way to work.
I forgot we talked about our budget. Well, forget it.
I'm going to Amazon then, right?
And I'm just gonna click click click click.
Right then, in that moment, just stop and say,
what is my brain trying to protect me from?
And if you can catch yourself right before that action,
right when your automated thought goes,
and you catch yourself, then you can say,
what am I trying to do? Right?
And, usually, it's our brain trying
to unconsciously protect us from pain of stress
or pain of exhaustion. Or pain of my wife's asking me
to do something yet again, and we're not on the same page.
Or pain of, look, I make the money in the house,
who can tell me what to buy, right?
And so, it just catches you right there.
So, if you can stop right before.
- So good. Because there's so many things
that we do subconsciously just to protect us from that pain.
- Just go, go, go, go, go. Right. - Yes.
So, you've studied and researched habits.
So, what are the top things you've heard and researched,
what you've learned in your own life
to create these new habits versus, or starting
with, controlling those actions, controlling those thoughts?
- So, the last four or five years there's been a lot
of cool, hip, new books out on habits, right?
Big habits, and little habits, and atomic . . . all kinds of habits, right?
I like to think of habits on a bigger picture.
So, I like to look at the addiction literature,
and the choice theory literature, and relationships,
and get a big picture. So, here's a couple of things
that, when I think about changing habits,
which is really changing automated thoughts
and automated behaviors.
The first thing is, context is really important.
So, for instance, if you and Winston are gonna get
in a disagreement, and every time you have a disagreement,
you sit at the same seat at the table.
When you sit at that table, and y'all look at each other,
you automatically get into . . . right?
That's why, sometimes, if you go hiking
or you're on a road trip,
you have these great deep conversations.
Same two people talking. Same important things
we're talking about. But the context has changed, right?
So, if we can get ourselves out of a context,
that will help change behaviors.
The second thing is, and this is really fun for a nerd,
the liking part of our brain
and the wanting part of our brain are different.
And so, I really like the idea of me with a six-pack abs,
but my brain is saying, I want the gummy candy hit,
that dopamine hit, right?
- Give me the pizza.
- Yes. Yeah. - Yeah.
- I love the idea of being debt-free,
but I want the dopamine hit of the retail therapy, right?
And so, we forget that, or we don't often don't know
that those are two separate processes.
And so, if I can get to the wants,
then it's different than the likes.
The third thing is, you can't break an addiction,
you can't break a habit, without a community.
Often, what you do is, you end up
trading one addictive behavior for another, right?
So, you have people that are credit card, credit card people,
and then they get on the Dave Ramsey plan,
and then they become lunatic, right?
Like, burn your debt . . .
Like, they'll karate chop the credit card out of your hand, right?
So, when you have a community that can hold you accountable,
and they can be with you and walk alongside you,
and when you stumble and they can pick you back up,
and you lean on each other.
- I love that. And it's so good for your emotional health
to know all those things and to really apply
that to your life.
So, what advice, what encouragement do you have for people
that have made bad mistakes in the past?
Money or not, right? Just life.
And there's a lot of shame with that. So, when you see it,
when I think about emotional health,
shame is one of the top words I feel like right now people
are talking about. So, people have that.
They do have a lot of shame talk. They have a lot of shame,
possibly, from those past mistakes.
So, what advice do you have for them?
- So, let me paint you a picture.
We're all born with a backpack.
I've been a tall, handsome, super good-looking guy my whole . . .
That was me trying to be funny, but you didn't think so.
- I was just like, yes, John. - Oh, that's cool. So . . .
- Have that self-confidence.
- Right. My parents are still married.
I was raised in a Christian home. I was born in Texas,
which is the one of the greatest places on earth to live.
All these things . . . So I had very few bricks in my backpack
when I was born.
I had many friends who came from broken homes,
or from abject poverty, or whose parents were immigrants.
They had lots of challenges. They came into the game
with bricks in their backpack.
So, fast-forward to your question about shame
and making mistakes. Let's say that me and my wife sat down,
and we have a really deep conversation
about being on a budget.
And then she's late getting home one night,
and I think, she's gonna make me do bedtimes again
for the fifth night in a row. She's doing this on purpose.
And I get frustrated, and we don't have any candy
in the house because I'm trying to eat healthy now.
And then I end up on Amazon, and I click,
and I buy the thing. Right?
And so, then I feel guilty. So, think of guilt
as I'm picking up a brick,
and it's heavy, and it's uncomfortable. I should be picking up
that brick because we made an agreement,
and I broke that agreement. Okay?
Shame is when I take that agreement,
and I put it in my own backpack
and decide, I'm just gonna carry this sucker around.
And so, what I tell folks in this situation is,
put the bricks down.
And some of us come, to go full circle,
some of us come from families where part of our identity
is carrying as many bricks as possible.
That's how we show how tough we are
and how hard things are for us.
And what I want to tell everybody is, put your bricks down.
Put them down.
- That's so good, John.
Seriously, on a range of levels.
But I think it's so huge to start
with where we are emotionally and grow from there.
So, thank you. Thanks for being on.
All right, coming up next, let's talk about the next step
in becoming financially healthy.
(upbeat music)
Number two is tell your money where to go.
What does that mean?
That means having a budget.
Yes, I know you're not shocked by this,
that we're talking about it. But for real, you guys.
You have got to live on a plan.
You have to live intentionally.
You're not gonna just wake up at retirement and be like,
oh wow, I have millions of dollars. That was nice.
No. It takes intentionality. That's for the short term
and for the long term. And your budget is monthly.
Your plan, monthly, of where your money's going, okay?
So, it's your income minus your expenses equals zero.
That is a zero-based budget.
Check out EveryDollar, our budgeting app,
if you need some guidance. But for real, making sure
that you are so, so, so purposeful
with where every single dollar is going.
That's how you're gonna win in the long term.
And the great thing about a budget is,
a budget does not limit your freedom,
a budget gives you freedom. It gives you permission
to spend money on the things you value
and what you want because it's your budget.
It's not my budget. It's your budget. So you get to sit down
and say, oh, I want this category up.
And if you're married, your spouse has to agree and say,
I agree with upping that category,
then that's your budget.
You do that.
It ebbs and flows in your life, okay?
So, I mentioned the spouse. But for real, if you're married,
you guys sit down together. Do a budget together.
If you're single, find a friend who can hold you accountable
and you can talk to about the budget.
So, this is what's really key. It's gonna take some time.
It takes 90 days to get your budget to work
if you've never done a budget.
But it will be the first time in your life where you say,
wow, I actually have control over my money,
and my money is not controlling me.
Now, preparing for the unexpected is another part
of telling your money where to go.
Now, for me, the item in my budget
that gives me so much peace in that area is life insurance.
Regardless where you are in the Baby Steps,
you've got to make this a priority.
Make sure that you have a policy that includes 10
to 12 times your annual income and coverage.
This will give you and your family so much peace of mind.
Winston and I, we use Zander Insurance because they make
the process super simple, and you can tell
that they really care about your family.
Zander does all the work by shopping all the top companies
to find the best rates and coverage based
on your family's needs.
And they'll walk you through the whole process.
And even now, if I have a question, I just call them.
Taking care of your family is a top priority.
So, make sure that you take this first step
and go to zander.com or click the link in the show notes
to get started on a quote today.
Number three is to start spending less than you earn.
So, it's normal to live it up
and spend your whole entire paycheck.
And that's what 78% of Americans do.
They live paycheck to paycheck, and that is broke.
That's normal. Normal is broke. So be different
and know the difference between wants versus needs.
So, some questions to help you determine this:
Do you already own one?
If yes, then it's a want.
Does it cost more than you have?
Yep, that's a want.
Is it clothing? Do you need it for work?
Ah, then it might be a need. Yay.
Is it clothing for a dog?
Come on, that's a want. Sad to say, but it is.
Is it a 42-pack of sequin leggings?
I mean, I don't even know if that's a thing
because it's definitely a want.
I mean, who buys that? No, no, no.
Is your primary motivation for buying it
to post on social media?
Well, are you Kylie Jenner?
If yes, then definitely buy it, girl.
And also, please give me some of your money.
Okay, I know some of these are obvious and kind of funny,
but in all seriousness, you really do need to ask yourself,
"Do I need this?" before a purchase.
Once you have your spending under control,
then you need to, number four, plan for your future.
So, I've been working with people for over 10 years on this,
and I've seen so many of them succeed.
But it's only those with a plan.
And I'm telling you, a plan is gonna do you so much better
than just walking through life
hoping things are going to work.
And that plan, I can tell you, is Financial Peace University.
Okay, this is the class that was started three decades ago.
Millions of people have gone through it.
But what this does is, it walks you through every part
of your money that you need to know.
And it gives you the plan. It gives you the steps.
Everything from budgeting, getting out of debt, investing,
real estate, insurance— anything you need to know
about money, it covers.
And for the first time ever, because of the Coronavirus
and all the panic that's going on,
we're actually offering a free trial
of that class right now.
And this gives you all the access to every material,
all the tools that you need to take control of your money.
And just learn. Learn for the first time. Sit at home
and say, you know what?
I'm actually going to watch something
that's gonna do better for my future
than Netflix, even though I love Netflix.
But this is something that's actually going
to change your life. It's going to change your family tree.
So, make sure that you check it out,
because there are millions of people that have gone
through this class, and it has helped them tremendously.
But I don't want to be the only one telling you this.
So, in my Facebook community, so many people wrote in talking
about how this pandemic was actually kind of eased,
the panic of it,
because they had their financial world in order.
So, Alexa said, "For the first time we have financial peace.
We paid off $41,000 in debt
and just finished our emergency fund before the virus hit.
I'm a stay-at-home mom, and we had no idea
how my husband's paycheck would be affected.
It's so comforting to know that we had money
all ready to go if something bad happens.
I'm also due with baby number two in July,
and we've been using some of the stay-at-home orders
as a way to get stricter with our budget
so that we can save on hospital bills.
Our SUV brakes broke, and we had to replace
our hot water heater all in the same week.
We could pay for all of that in cash
without even a second thought. So thankful for the work you
and the rest of the Ramsey team does every day."
Missy said, "Widow, single mom, work in the health field,
so working 40 hours+ a week.
Having my six-month emergency fund made me feel warm
and safe. I've been able to pay it forward
and shop small businesses during this uncertain time."
Julie said, "I'm so thankful for our emergency fund.
My husband was out of work for a month,
but we were at peace financially.
So far, we have not needed to touch it.
In fact, we have been able to give generously
during this time since we're on Baby Step Seven."
Marsha said, "Thank God for my emergency fund.
I've had to dip into it multiple times since the pandemic.
If it had not been there, I would be in credit card debt.
I not only have been financially stable,
but I have been able to help others during this time."
You guys, isn't that crazy?
I feel like any time you heard someone talk about money,
it was like, they were stressed out and freaked out,
because that's majority of Americans.
But not every American. Not these people.
Not these people who said, you know what?
Two, three, four, 10 years ago, they decided
to actually take control of their money.
And this is the payoff.
Okay, when you made sacrifices to get out of debt,
and you didn't go out to eat for two years.
You didn't go on vacation. Like, the times
that it was really, really hard, this is the payoff
where you have complete peace during a pandemic.
Who knew we'd have a freaking pandemic? That was never part
of the emergency when we talked about emergency fund
and that you would need it.
But that's what happens, because life is going to happen.
It's not if it's going to rain.
It's when it's going to rain.
So, those of you out there that have won,
congratulations. Seriously, this is why you did what you did.
But those of you that haven't done this,
this is not to shame you by any means.
I want this to be your wake-up call.
I want this to be the moment that you say, you know what?
The pandemic of 2020 was the time that I said I'm done.
I'm done being stressed.
I'm done buying a bunch of stuff on debt.
I'm done living without a plan. I'm done.
I'm actually going to take control of my money.
You drew that line in the sand.
And the great benefit of doing that
is, not only are you able to help your family,
but you're able to be extremely generous.
Did you hear that thread through all those posts?
Yes, they were being generous, which leads us
to the final fifth step of being financially healthy,
and that is to become a generous person.
This foundation will change you in more ways than one.
But the act of giving, it changes your relationship
with money and everyone around you.
Living generously with an open hand keeps your money
in the proper perspective because it blesses you,
but it also blesses everyone involved.
It will move you on the spectrum from being selfish
to selfless. Plus, people who give are generally happier
and less stressed because giving actually releases oxytocin
in your brain. Yeah, it's like addictive, like a drug.
So, let me challenge you. This month,
give 10% of your income away. Yeah, I'm serious.
You can give to your local church, which is a tithe.
You can give it to a family member who's affected
by the recent job loss.
You can give it to wherever you wanna give.
But just give, okay? Just try it.
Generosity is a sign of someone who is working
toward true financial health.
So, to recap, there are five ways
to become financially healthy.
Number one, determine where you are starting
from emotionally. Number two, tell your money where to go.
Number three, start spending less than you earn.
Number four, plan for the future.
And number five, become a generous person.
So, please let me know your two takeaways here
or in my official Facebook community.
Thanks to Dr. John Delony for being here.
I always love talking to him. And subscribe to my show
on YouTube or wherever you listen to podcasts.
And as always, make sure to take control of your money
and create a life you love.
(upbeat music)