>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
MY NEXT GUEST IS AN ACTRESS, WRITER AND COMEDIAN YOU KNOW
FROM "STRANGERS WITH CANDY," "BOJACK HORSEMAN," AND
"UNBREAKABLE KIMMY SCHMIDT."
AND I HAVE KNOWN HER FO HER FOR YEARS.
PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE LATE SHOW, AMY SEDARIS.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( BAND PLAYING )
>> WOW!
LOOK AT THAT!
>> Stephen: ISN'T THAT NICE?
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) NOW, YOU HAVE BEEN ON THIS SHOW.
>> THIS IS MY SECOND TIME.
>> Stephen: SECOND TIME ON THE SHOW BECAUSE I KNOW WE HAD YOU
ON THE OLD SHOW A COUPLE OF TIMES.
IT ALL BLENDS TOGETHER.
>> IT ALL BLENDS TOGETHER.
THIS IS GREAT.
I NEVER GOT A TOUR OF THE THEATER.
MAYBE ONE DAY.
DO YOU HAVE TIME FOR ME?
>> Stephen: I'LL STAY AFTERWARDS, SURE.
>> SOME OF US HAVE A HUSBAND TO GET HOME TO.
CHILDREN TO GET HOME TO.
I HAVE PLENTY OF TIME.
( LAUGHTER ) PEOPLE ALWAYS SAY WHAT'S YOUR
FAVORITE STEPHEN THING?
YOU KILLED WATER BUGS ON MY WALL WITH YOUR HAND.
>> Stephen: A BIG ROACH.
A BIG ROACH.
YOU CALL THEM SOMETHING ELSE IN CHARLESTON.
AND SOMEONE TOLD ME THEY HAVE EGGS ON THEIR BACK AND WHEN YOU
DO IT WITH YOUR HANDS, THE EGGS GO EVERYWHERE AND THEY CAN
HATCH.
>> Stephen: I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY THE EGGS GET IN
YOUR SKIN.
>> THEY GET ALL OVER.
I'M AMAZED, THEY TERRIFY ME AND I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DO IT WITH
YOUR HANDS.
>> Stephen: WHEN I WAS A KID, THERE WERE SO MANY PALMETTO
BUGS, YOU WOULD GO TO THE KITCHEN CABINETS AND BANG ON THE
OUTSIDE LIKE YOU WERE WATCHING IN ON A TEENAGER MAKING OUT,
COMING DOWN STAIRS!
SO THE BUGS WOULD GET AWAY.
WE'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER SINCE 1988.
>> I THOUGHT IT WAS '86.
>> Stephen: NO, '86, I GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE.
IT'S A LONG STORY.
BUT I SAW YOU ON STAGE IN 1988, WHEN WE HAD BOTH JUST BEEN HIRED
WITH SECOND CITY TOURING COMPANY.
>> HOW ABOUT THAT.
>> Stephen: I THINK THERE MIGHT HAVE BEEN, LIKE, 15 YEARS
WHEN I EITHER SAW YOU OR TALKED ON THE PHONE WITH YOU EVERY DAY.
>> EVERY DAY.
>> Stephen: EVERY DAY.
WE TALKED EVERY DAY.
>> Stephen: YOU AND ME AND PAUL DINELLO, ONE OF MY
PRODUCERS HERE, OLD FRIEND OF MINE.
>> LOOK AT US, WE STILL GET ALONG.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: YOU'RE THE
GODMOTHER TO -- >> HIS TWO BOYS.
>> Stephen: BOTH BOYS.
JOHN PAUL AND LUCA.
>> Stephen: HOW'S THE SPIRITUAL ADVISING GOING?
>> HE'S AT THE AGE WHERE I CAN ASK HIM ANYTHING AND NOT BE
EMBARRASSED.
IF I WANT TO ASK HIM A QUESTION, I REALLY WANT THE ANSWER FROM
HIM.
IT'S NOT LIKE ASKING AN ADULT.
THE OTHER DAY I CALLED HIM UP AND SAID HOW MANY QUARTERS GO
INTO $25.
I WAS ROLLING CHANGE.
>> Stephen: YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER?
>> I'M SINCERE.
HE DOESN'T KNOW IT.
I'M, LIKE, HOW MANY QUARTERS GO INTO $25.
HE GOES, I'LL CALL YOU RIGHT BACK.
HE CALLED ME BACK AND SAID 100.
I SAID THERE'S NO WAY IT'S 100.
I KNOW MY QUARTERS, I COLLECT QUARTERS, I HAVE BEEN ROLLING IT
SINCE I WAS A WAITRESS, YOU'RE WRONG.
GOT ON THE CALCULATOR AND HE WAS RIGHT.
HE SAID THINK ABOUT IT.
THEN I ASKED HIM ABOUT HOW MANY NICKELS GO INTO TWO DOLLARS.
( LAUGHTER ) I DIDN'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT.
IS HAWAII PART OF THE UNITED STATES, QUESTIONS LIKE THAT I
SHOULD KNOW.
>> Stephen: UNANSWERABLE QUESTIONS.
>> IT'S GREAT, I LOVE IT.
I'M NOT PLAYING HIM OR TRYING TO TRICK HIM.
FINALLY, I CAN TALK TO SOMEONE, YOU KNOW?
>> Stephen: YEAH.
AND YOU MUST GIVE HIM A LOT OF CONFIDENCE THAT AN ADULT DOES
NOT KNOW THESE ANSWERS AND HE DOES.
>> YES, I THINK SO.
I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE THINKS.
I'M STILL NOT ALLOWED TO BABY SIT.
>> Stephen: YOU GET CONGRATULATIONS ON THE SUCCESS
OF "AT HOME WITH AMY SEDARIS."
>> THANK YOU.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: YOU GOT THE EMMY
NOMINATION LAST YEAR.
>> YEP.
>> Stephen: IT RETURNS FOR A SECOND SEASON.
WE HAVE A CLIP.
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE THE SHOW TO THE PEOPLE UNINITIATED WITH
YOU?
>> IT'S A LITTLE HOMEMAKING SHOW.
LIKE MARTHA STEWART BEING ATTACKED BY WILD TURKEYS.
( LAUGHTER ) >> WITH BLOOD.
>> Stephen: TRYING TO BE A HOMEMAKER BUT THINGS DON'T
ALWAYS TURN OUT.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE A CLIP HERE AND WE'RE SHOWING HOW TO
COOK SOMETHING.
I FORGOT WHAT YOU'RE MAKING.
>> I MISREAD THE DIRECTION.
I'M PRE-HEATING THE OVEN.
>> Stephen: JIM?
AND TO GO ALONG WITH OUR HAT THEME, I'M MAKING MUSHROOM CAPS
FOR HIS VISIT.
I'M GOING TO POP THESE ADORABLE GUYS INTO THE OVEN PREHEATED TO
750 DEGREES.
( BREATHLESS ) ( CHUCKLES )
OH!
350 DEGREES!
ANYWAY, I'M GOING TO GET A LITTLE TOUCHUP AND I'LL MEET YOU
IN THE LIVING ROOM!
♪ ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> WELL, THERE YOU HAVE IT.
YOU WERE ON THE FIRST SEASON.
>> Stephen: I WAS ON THE FIRST SEASON.
>> WE WANTED YOU BACK THE SECOND SEASON.
>> Stephen: DIDN'T ASK.
YOU DIDN'T MAKE THE AUDITIONS.
>> Stephen: NO ONE ASKED.
ONE OF THE THINGS PEOPLE MAY NOT KNOW IS WHAT A GREAT UKE COOK
YOU ARE.
>> OH!
GO ON!
>> Stephen: AND YOU'RE A LIFE SAFER, TOO.
DO YOU REMEMBER COMING OFF THE ROAD, YOU AND PAUL AND I WERE
FAST FRIENDS, AND WE NEVER HAD ANY MONEY BECAUSE SECOND CITY
DID NOT PAY ANYTHING.
THEY PURPOSEFULLY KEEP YOU HUNGRY AND WE WOULD PHYSICALLY
BE HUNGRY.
WE GOT OFF THE ROAD AND WOULDN'T BE PAID FOR TWO WEEKS AFTER
BEING ON THE ROAD FOR FOUR WEEKS AND WE HAD NO MONEY.
AND YOU AND GOOFY HAD COINS IN YOUR POCKET AND I WAS THE RICH
GUY WITH THREE SINGLES.
I THOUGHT IT WAS THREE DOLLARS AND I REMEMBER YOU
SNATCHING IT OUT OF MY HANDS AND GOING, LIKE --
>> I MADE CHICKEN AND RICE AND A SIDE SALAD ALL FOR UNDER SIX
DOLLARS.
I CAN STILL DO THAT TODAY.
>> Stephen: I THOUGHT IT WAS AVOCADO LEMON SOUP.
>> NOT FOR SIX DOLLARS!
>> Stephen: I REMEMBER GOING TO YOUR HOUSE TO EAT IT AND IF
I'M NOT MISTAKEN, SPENDING THE NIGHT ON THE COUCH SO EKED EAT
SOME OF IT THE NEXT DAY.
>> REALLY?
>> Stephen: YEAH.
BECAUSE WE HAD NO MONEY.
PEOPLE SAID HOW WOULD YOU GET BY IN SHOW BUSINESS?
I SAID FIND SOMEBODY LIKE PAUL AND AIMIA BECAUSE WE LITERALLY
KEPT EACH OTHER ALIVE, LITERALLY FED EACH OTHER.
>> WE DID.
I ALREADY HAD THE RICE.
IT'S GOOD TO HAVE THAT KIND OF STUFF.
>> Stephen: SO FIND PEOPLE TO LOVE WHO ALSO HAVE A BAG OF
RICE.
THAT'S KEY.
>> THAT'S KEY.
>> Stephen: THAT'S LIKE UNICEF.
THEY BRING IN BAGS OF RICE AND BOWLS AT THE BACK OF THE TRUCK.
( LAUGHTER ) WE'RE LAUGHING ABOUT REFUGEE
CHILDREN, YOU REALIZE.
( LAUGHTER ) NOT REALLY, BUT -- BUT KIND OF.
>> HILARIOUS, IT'S HILARIOUS.
>> Stephen: KIND OF.
MM-HMM.
>> ARE YOU BORED WITH ME?
YOUR OTHER GUESTS WENT SO LONG.
I GOT TIRED BACK THERE.
HE WAS REALLY ENTERTAINING.
WHY DON'T YOU EVER ASK ME ABOUT POLITICS?
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: I WOULD LOVE TO.
I REMEMBER WHEN DESERT STORM WAS GOING ON.
I DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT AND YOU GRABBED ME BY THE
SHOULDERS AND SAID, YOU REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING NOW,
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT DESERT STORM MEANS?
I SAID I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
YOU TOLD ME TO NEVER CHANGE.
AND I'VE NOT CHANGED.
>> Stephen: YOU ARE SOMETHING LIKE YOU DROP INTO THE OCEAN AND
CORAL NEVER GROWS ON IT, YOUR BRAIN.
>> I'M FLATTERED!
( LAUGHTER ) >> STEPHEN: THE NEW SEASON OF
"AT HOME WITH AMY SEDARIS" PREMIERES TOMORROW ON TRU-TV.
AMY SEDARIS, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE BY "THE CLAYPOOL
LENNON DELIRIUM."