are you in a sexless marriage well today in this video I'm going to do a super
quick video here on how to navigate through this very frustrating problem so
if you do find yourself in this situation in your marriage you're not
alone there are a ton of sexless marriages out
there in fact some couples therapist claim that up to 230 percent of
marriages are sexless but lucky for you there are some strategies that you can
use right now to reignite that spark that you had with your spouse now first
before we move on we really need to determine you know how much sex is
enough for you really every person is different and everyone has sort of their
number that's going to keep them happy in their marriage a University of
Toronto study recently found that that sex once a week led to to more intimate
and loving marriages any more than that than once a week I didn't really have
much further impact on the happiness of the marriage but anything less than once
a week around there led to to a significant decline in marital happiness
in many couples so how do we fix this problem I'm gonna try and break it down
here into a few short tips number one communicate with your spouse you really
don't want to turn this into an argument because that's just going to to push
your spouse further away but you will want to approach the topic in in a
loving and caring way yes it may feel a little awkward but it is important to
let your spouse know that this is a concern that you have in the marriage
and number two make sex a priority if you want to bring that intimacy back and
have sex again then it has to be on both of your minds and moving forward even if
you have you know really busy lives in general
now that means often setting aside time for you and your partner to relax and to
enjoy each other again in in a quiet and intimate setting number three escalate
slowly you know you don't want to try and jump into sex right away after
bringing it up you don't want sex to to feel like work
or a service you want to have sex because really both of you actually want
to be intimate now you can graduate to to sex soon of
course but initially you know for now maybe just let your partner know that
you want to kiss him or her tonight and that's it no pressure to do anything
more because sex should always feel natural
and be fun and that does bring me to number four which is to try and have fun
now really that's the whole point of sex so it's time to ask your spouse you know
what would turn them on do they have any desires or fetishes they want to
experiment with now is really a great time to explore and to get your note to
know your spouse in the most intimate ways without judgement so you know plan
plan fun plant play dates maybe go sex toy shopping together and and be a
little adventurous again let your partner know that there's no pressure to
have sex at any point or to do anything in particular
number five stop watching porn now studies have shown that porn does have
negative effects on psychosexual psychology in fact I know some men for
example who can't even achieve an erection with their spouse unless they
actually watch porn beforehand so cutting out porn from your lives is
going to increase your desire to have sex with one another and number six is
sort of along the same lines which is basically just stop pleasuring yourself
so often this one's pretty self-explanatory but sometimes it can be
easier said than done but essentially you know lowering the frequency of
masturbation or cutting it out entirely is going to help you and your spouse get
back into the sack and number seven work out you know keeping fit it is not only
going to help you look better and be more you know sexually attractive to
your partner but it will also release hormones that will make you want to you
know bang your partner's brains out so you know do plan some couples activities
that involve exercise and make sure you hit the gym regularly now number eight
don't put any undue pressure on your spouse to achieve some sort of you know
sexual goal if you have sex with your partner and one of you doesn't finish
you know that shouldn't be a big deal putting sex on the pedestal can make it
even more difficult to to get back into the thick of things so just try to relax
and have fun with no expectations tip number nine maybe it's medical you know
erectile dysfunction and other sorts of sexual elements have a compounding
effects on one's desire to have sex generally so do seek help from a doctor
if you think that might be the case for you and finally number 10 look at other
parts of your relationship if both you and your partner you know
both have stopped having sex that could actually be an indicator that there's
there's other underlying problems with your relationship and of course if you
do think that the problem runs deeper than just sex
then consider watching my full free video presentation on my website at
marriageguy.com marriageguy.com you learn a lot okay YouTube that is all
for this super short video today thank you very much for watching and we'll
talk to you again soon
you