All right, the next paragraph-paragraph 12-now describes these two dreams. First is the world's
dream. "A brother separated from yourself, an ancient enemy, a murderer who stalks you
in the night and plots your death, yet plans that it be lingering and slow; of this you
dream." This is everyone's dream and ultimately, who is the murderer who stalks you in the
night, plots your death, that plans that it be lingering and slow? Ultimately, that's
God-the ego's version of God-because we're all going to die a long, slow death. It might
take 40, 50, 70, 80, a 100 years but we know how it's going to end. All right, so now let
me read the secret dream. We'll start on paragraph 12, sentence 2. "Yet underneath this dream
is yet another, in which you become the murderer, the secret enemy, the scavenger and the destroyer
of your brother and the world alike." I am the sinner. I'm the one who destroyed Heaven
and I'm the one who wants to destroy everyone in my life so God will punish you instead
of me. None of us is in touch with that. We're in touch with this. We're in touch with the
world's dream. You're doing this to me, and the secret dream in which I'm the murderer,
I'm the scavenger lays buried, and if it lays buried, obviously I'm not aware of it. If
I'm not aware of it, how could I change it? So now he's telling you here is the cause
of suffering; the "here" being the secret dream, which really means the decision maker's
decision for the secret dream. "Here is the cause of suffering, the space between your
little dreams and your reality," because when we listen to the ego this vertical line that
represents the tiny, mad idea is made real and that's the gap between my dreaming mind
and my true mind in Heaven. So, "Here is the cause of suffering, the space between your
little dreams and your reality. The little gap you do not even see, the birthplace of
illusions and of fear, the time of terror and of ancient hate, the instant of disaster,
all are here. Here is the cause of unreality. And it is here that it will be undone." This
is so clear. Here it will be undone; this is the "here"-the mind's decision to sleep,
fall asleep and dream a dream of separation, sin, guilt, and fear. Here is where it will
be undone, not in the world. Why would you ask Jesus to come into the world to help you
solve a problem here? A very good reason why you would do that: because you're terrified
that he's in your mind, and if he's in your mind so are you. And if you're in your mind,
you're a decision maker because that's all the mind is, which means you could choose
again. This is so clear. Here is the cause of your suffering, not in the world, not in
the body, not in a hurricane, not in an atomic bomb, not in a rape, not in abuse, not in
murder, not in a traffic jam. "Here is the cause of the suffering. Here is the cause
of unreality and it is here that it will be undone." Again, this is a very simple course
because everything is seen as the same, but you could see how complicated we've made things.
This world is extraordinarily complicated. As we all know, maintaining this body is extraordinarily
complicated. The amount of time and effort it takes-it demands-every day, and this is
only on the gross physical level. Throw in the psychological level and all the complications
we have to deal with in relationships with people; extraordinarily complicated. There's
a purpose because salvation is simple; one problem, one solution. I chose the ego, I
now choose the Holy Spirit; end of problem. So rather than deal with the simplicity of
the answer and of the problem, we make everything incredibly complicated. Christian theology
is extraordinarily complicated. Do you know what you have to do and how...what you have
to do to love and choose to bend it around and distort it so it ends up that Jesus suffered
and died on the cross for our sins? It's so much simpler to say nothing happened. Nothing
is happening now. That's my only problem, is that I believe that something happened
and is still happening. You don't have to analyze. Don't analyze anything here. Don't
be a quote "good" Course in Miracles' student unquote and analyze your ego. The ego loves
that; thrives on it. The only thing you ever have to know about why you're upset is you
chose the wrong teacher and you've given power to the illusion. What could be simpler than
that? Nothing you say or do can hurt me. "Are thoughts dangerous? To bodies, yes!" the Course
says. Yeah, of course, but I'm not my body. Few of us are up to the level of really knowing
we're not our bodies, but I could begin the process of realizing that whatever you do
to my body has no effect or should have no effect on the peace of God in my mind unless
I give you that power. Now you understand why we don't want to awaken. The real reason
we don't want to awaken is because there's no "I" in Heaven, but the reason the ego gives
us for not wanting to awaken is if you awaken you're going to be right back here and guess
what? God will get you. So in that earlier section in the text, called "The Fear to Look
Within" it says now the ego councils thus: do not look within-in your mind-"for if you
do your eyes will light on sin, and God will strike you blind;" a euphemistic way of saying
God will destroy you. Again, what could be clearer than that? This course is so clear.
Do not look within your mind because if you do this secret dream will kill you, and we
say, "Oh my god, I forgot." Boom, we're right back here. That's why whenever you start to
make right-minded choices and you start to take this course seriously or, in the language
of the Course, you begin to take the Holy Spirit's evaluation of you seriously and you
go back to your mind and you start to become more right-minded, there's that little voice
that says, "Watch it; I warned you. This Holy Spirit character is not to be trusted. Indeed,
God created Him after the separation, but you know why He created Him? To entrap you
with His sweet words that drip with honey, of love and peace and joy and eternal bliss
and happiness and all of that stuff, and don't believe a word of it because He will get you
and bring you back, and there is no "I" in Heaven. You will not disappear into the Heart
of God; you'll be annihilated into oblivion." Boom, we go right back to our friends, and
we come to this friend and this is no friend, and we go back to the world and body. And
even though we all read this course and believe it's the voice of sanity, the interesting
thing to ponder is why don't I listen to it? I know what it says, I believe what it says;
why don't I live it? This explains why you don't live it, because we feel we're better
off with the world's dream that, you know, the devil you know is better than the devil
you don't. I could at least deal with this. I'm not happy here but I at least I know how
to kind of negotiate my way through the perilous waters, but I don't want to get anywhere near
my mind. The purpose of understanding all this in terms of its...of the theory is to
apply it to your everyday personal life. So whenever you're tempted to get upset about
anything, think about this. This is not happening here. There is no "here." Now you don't have
to experience that, that there is no "here," but you could begin the process of experiencing
that I'm never upset for the reason I think. I think I'm upset because of the way people
are driving on the freeway, or serving me in the restaurant, or the way my wife, husband,
lover, friend is treating me, or my children treat me, or the way my parents treated me,
or the way my president is treating me. I think that's why I'm upset, and I get lots
of people to agree with me; that's a lie. At this stage on our journey we can't stop
lying, but we at least don't have to believe in it, and that's a distinction that is possible.
You could watch yourself project but you don't have to believe in the projection. You could
watch yourself get really enraged and make up all kinds of stories to support the rage
but it is possible to step back enough that you could watch yourself doing it and realize,
"I don't have to believe in this. I've done this already. I know this script; I've done
it over and over again." That's the beginning of the process of ending the ego's reign,
which really is our choosing the ego.