-Here´s what people are talking about.
I saw this morning, President Trump tweeted
that his border wall is going to be built out of old fences.
[ Laughter ]
Which explains why today millions of Americans
walked out of their homes and said,
"Where the hell´s my fence?" [ Laughter and applause ]
"I´m building a chain-link fence."
Trump also went on Twitter to criticize Hillary´s new book.
So she responded by saying
she´d send him a copy of her children´s book instead.
[ Laughter ]
Trump was like, "Got anything shorter?"
[ Laughter and applause ] "I´ll take the book.
I´ll take the kids book."
Meanwhile, Ivanka Trump said that
she doesn´t speak out against her dad publicly
because when you´re part of a team,
you´re part of a team.
I think what she meant to say was,
"When you´re part of a will, you´re part of a will."
I mean, it´s just -- It´s just common sense.
-Yeah. You got to think about it.
-This is big, though.
After meeting with Democratic leaders,
it seems like Trump changed his mind on DACA.
Democrats were like, "Yeah, we told him
it stood for for Doughnuts Across America.
So he was like, "Oh, I love doughnuts."
[ Laughter and applause ]
But everyone is talking about DACA.
A couple weeks ago, Trump said that he was ending it.
Now he seems like he´s working with Democrats to replace it.
Nobody knows what´s gonna happen.
And obviously, a lot of immigrants are concerned.
So here to talk to us a little more about the issue
is "Tonight Show" correspondent Julio Torres.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Hi, hi, hi. Hello, Jimmy. Hi.
[ Laughter ] -Hi, Julio.
So, why don´t you tell us a little bit about yourself.
-Sure. My name is Julio.
I was born and raised as a brunette.
[ Laughter ]
I´m from El Salvador.
I live in Brooklyn.
I´m an Aquarius, and my favorite color is clear.
[ Laughter ]
-Great, great.
And we just want to confirm that you´re a real-live person.
You´re not some funny, weird character that we made up.
-No, yes, correct, I am real.
But I am not an American,
though I´m very, very fond of this country.
I grew up in El Salvador watching a lot of American TV.
That´s part of the reason why I´m fluent in English now.
Like so many little gay boys in El Salvador,
I could only dream of maybe, just maybe,
meeting Ally McBeal one day. [ Laughter ]
-I hope you do. I´ve met her. She´s great.
-Well, I haven´t. -Yeah.
-But I came from a tiny, tiny Central American country
and look at me now.
I´m part of the, um...
Como se dice...? [ Laughter ]
Liberal media elite? -Yeah, good.
Now, Julio, what do you think of the notions
that illegal immigrants steal jobs from American workers?
-Well, I´m a stand-up comedian but not just any kind.
I´m the sort of a queer multimedia kind.
-Yeah, true. [ Laughter ]
-The other day, I was covered completely in glitter,
holding a little crystal pyramid,
wondering how to incorporate it into my act, and I thought,
"Oh, I´m sorry.
Is this one of the many good jobs
I´m stealing from hardworking Americans?"
[ Laughter and applause ]
-Uh-huh. That´s interesting.
-Am I supposed to be viewed as a threat somehow?
Look, I´m not here because of DACA.
My path was different.
I am here under a visa that claims that I am an alien
of extraordinary ability.
Pause for laughter or applause.
[ Laughter and applause ]
Thank you, thank you.
I think this will all work out, but it´s just frustrating
that we keep having these conversations,
immigrant or Dreamer or illegal.
These are broad labels composed of very real,
unique people with their own hopes and dreams.
Today, I´m a legal little space twink, but tomorrow,
I could be just another bad hombre on my way out.
[ Laughter ]
Trump keeps changing his mind on this, and I get it.
We all have a little angel on one shoulder
and a Cabinet full of racist devils on another.
[ Laughter and applause ]
You know, the only person I connect with
in this administration is Melania,
because just like me, she´s foreign,
she´s a beautiful ice princess,
and we both scan the room for the nearest exit
whenever we read to children.
[ Laughter ]
Look, look, I really want to stay in America,
but if this doesn´t work out,
I guess I´ll just marry a billionaire
and become First Lady.
-Julio Torres, everyone!
Julio, thank you, buddy!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Julio, thank you for being here.
Guys, this was going viral.
Yesterday, Trump wore a blue jacket with black pants
to a meeting on race relations.
Take a look at this. This is very -- yeah.
Yeah. [ Laughter ]
Trump was like, "I told you, I don´t see color."
[ Laughter and applause ]
And people are still talking about this Ted Cruz scandal
where his Twitter account liked a pornographic video.
And he´s been blaming his staff for the incident,
and I think that they´re getting a little fed up with it.
You can kind of hear them in the background
during this interview. Listen close.
-Your Twitter handle liked a post that was clearly porn.
What happened?
-Look, it was -- We had a staffer
who accidentally hit the wrong button.
-No! That was you. [ Laughter ]
-And it was a screw-up.
-You screwed yourself!
-As soon as we found out about it, we pulled it down.
-Oh, you pulled it, all right!
-All right. You see what I´m saying?
That was -- No, yeah.
So, that´s...
-Cruz.
-Hey, Target announced that it will hire
100,000 seasonal employees during the holidays.
10 of them will be on the register.
The rest will wander around saying,
"I don´t work in this department."
[ Laughter and applause ]
"I just need -- Who does?"
"They´re in the other department."
And, finally, I read about a brother and sister in Michigan
who reunited after 50 years apart.
Unfortunately, it was on Tinder.
[ Audience groans ]
We have a great show tonight.
Give it up for The Roots, everybody.