- What happened to this patient?
His feeling is he's dying?
Why fail trip, no!
What's up guys?
It's Dr. Mike.
So, I figured we have a little fun today,
and play a new game.
A game that you recommended,
it's called Two Point Hospital.
I'm about to build my own hospital.
I'm talking Sims, but medical edition.
Let's get started.
Bee-Woop!
(bass thumping beat)
This game cost me 35 dollars by the way,
it better be great.
- Over 52% of our patients believe they leave healthier
than when they arrived.
Our precisely calibrated equipment
is operated by compassionate healthcare practitioners.
Many of whom have even been to medical school,
or watched ER.
If you suffer from Turtle Head, let us ease your worries,
and noggin, gently out of your body.
Mmmmm.
You deserve the best, so join us at Two Point Hospital.
We're open for new staff, new patients and a new you.
Can I go play golf yet, I'm teeing off--
- This is bringing me back to the Sims days,
but I used to play Sims on Windows 95.
You Gen-Z babies don't know nuthin' about Windows 95.
(robotic chime music)
The first thing you need is a reception,
patients will head there when they arrive at the hospital.
How do I rotate?
Hold the left mouse button and drag left or right.
Whoa.
(laughs)
Oh my god, I can't get it straight.
Great, we'll need an assistant to run reception,
let's hire one now.
Okay, hire.
Assistants, okay,
Brandy Grumble, David Trout, or Chuck Hurricane.
I like Chuck Hurricane; has potential,
he's unhygienic, high energy, a handful at parties.
You need someone who has a lot of energy
greeting people when they walk into the hospital,
'cause they may be sad, their family members may be sick,
so you need them to be ah "I'm Chuck Hurricane,
wanna hear a joke?"
The General Practitioner's Office,
before we open we need a GP's Office.
That's my office!
Patients will visit a Doctor working as a
family medicine doctor at each stage.
The family medicine doctor will assess patients
and decide if they're ready for treatment
or if they require further diagnosis.
That's what I do.
I gotta hire a doctor, can't I just work there myself?
We have Thomasina Lynx, Rich Humbug, Denise Tumbleweed.
Wow!
Thomasina Lynx is good, but expensive.
Grumpy, high energy, hangry, loves peeled food.
Humbug: short temper, gets toilet rage, class clown.
Denise Tumbleweed: Girl next door, probably gunna sin again.
Grey's Anatomy?
I think we should get the high energy, hangry person,
who is grumpy, but is gunna keep everyone in line.
Yay, we hired her!
Hospital is open for business.
Patients are starting to arrive.
Oh, oh, I see an ambulance.
I see an ambulance.
Come on in, sir!
How about I didn't even name the hospital.
Come on in, sir!
Aight, he's going to reception, we're queuing him up,
he's been sick for four days and he needs a diagnosis.
I can see his mood, he has a comfortable temperature.
Look at this!
(gasps)
I had the doctor sit in the wrong place!
He got grout.
We've diagnosed a first patient.
Have a look at the message at the bottom right.
Looks like we'll need to build a Pharmacy
to treat the patient.
Let's have the patient wait,
and I'll build a pharmacy real quick.
You don't want to hire someone for the Pharmacy
named Spike Pumps who is terribly dull
and has cheese for brains.
So let's put Molly Panther, she's expensive
but we want to keep a top tier hospital.
Okay, okay, it looks like things are moving.
This game's so fun.
Look at that guy, 100% diagnosis, happiness nine.
Whoa, we just got 5000 dollars for the patients medication.
If I'm getting 5000 dollars a patient, woo!
We've cured our own patient.
We've earned some money,
and the hospital's reputation has improved.
When a doctor or a nurse treats a patient,
their ability will influence the chance of success.
Some illnesses are tougher to treat.
Continue diagnosing and treating patients
to keep money coming in so we can expand the hospital.
We gotta hire a janitor to maintain the machines.
Okay, I can do that.
Let's hire a janitor.
We've got Dwight Malarkey, who's motivated,
positive and scared of seals.
So am I.
(screams)
They need a drinks machine, in case they get thirsty.
Should be right outside.
This is so fun.
In case anyone gets hungry while they're waiting,
there's a snack machine.
Yeah, look they're hanging out.
Staff get tired, will eventually need a break.
All staff will need a room to help them relax.
If you make a room larger
and fill it with interesting items
it will be considered more prestigious.
People using a high prestige room will become happier.
You know, there's something true to be said
about working in prestigious environments.
That's why doctors like going to work at
Memorial Sloan Kettering, Mount Sinai, NYU, Presbyterian.
All these major hospitals on the coasts.
The reason is, forefront at research, good salaries,
some of the best colleagues to work with,
and you feel good working there.
It's prestigious.
Give them a couch to hang out in,
they need a locker to put their things in,
an armchair in case they don't want to
sit next to each other on the sofa.
Let's give them a plant.
Boom.
Yay!
Staff and patients will get pretty grumpy
if you don't have access to toilets.
Might want to invest in toilets.
Oh my god, there's so much stuff here.
So I think, right by the staff lounge,
is where you'd want the toilets.
How many stalls do you think are necessary?
Two?
You can't even do more than two stalls.
Well yeah, 'cause you need a sink, duh.
And than they need a hand drier,
even though as we said in my videos,
a hand drier is not the best way to dry your hands.
The best way to dry your hands would be
through a paper towel,
so you don't spread germs all over the place.
Do you need a fire extinguisher in the bathroom?
I don't know, I'll put one in there just in case.
All right, build it.
Build it, and they will come
and go pee and poo in the hospital.
Look at everyone being so happy,
I wonder if I'm making any money.
We're hearing reports of new illnesses in town.
These might be harder to diagnose.
We may need to build a new diagnosis room.
If a GP isn't certain,
they will need to send patients for further diagnosis.
That's what a specialist is for.
Hire, doctor.
(sigh)
Gilbert Gutterflake.
Unmotivated.
Amy Tension, terribly dull, tires easily,
has been in a sword fight.
I just want to hire the best people.
I'm probably gunna lose money doing this, but.
Okay, wait, what are these patients doing here?
Okay, wait, I need to figure this out.
Ward required?
Is that even a thing?
Ward; oh my god yeah.
That's to admit them.
Let's put the ward on the other side of the hospital.
Let's keep the patients away from one another.
Boom.
We'll start off with a small ward.
Do I not have enough money to pay this?
Okay, I'm panicking.
The ward is ready!
So the ward is basically like the inpatient admission area,
where, like, if you're gunna spend a night in the hospital,
you're not gunna stay in the emergency room,
you need your own room, that's what the ward is.
New illnesses, yup.
New mystery, chronic grumpiness
due to a nihilistic semi-colon.
What's a semi-colon?
Nurses required, okay.
Hire.
Nurse.
We need a cheap one though.
Natasha Woodwind, we got you.
You'll work for peanuts.
Perfect.
Oh, we got a awards and yearly review,
let's see it.
I can't believe it's been a year,
I feel like I just started.
Oh, got zero awards.
Oh wait, no, maybe not.
The music in this game is fire.
The Burp Award for Doctor of the Year,
is Thomasina Lynx.
That's it, those are the two awards we got?
What about the janitor that I hired?
Oh my god, I could set the prices for this hospital,
I feel like a tycoon.
I'm gunna keep the prices fair for now.
We have no outstanding loans.
Our physical assets are 50k.
We have 160k of cash, we're up 10%,
and our profit factor is pretty good.
We're up 15%.
Our expenses are only 30k,
and our revenue is 46.
It sounds like we're doing a good job.
Let's get back on track, and run this hospital.
So we need to build two GP offices.
Let's build another GP office.
What, a scale is 300 dollars?
That's ridiculous.
- Come on son.
- But fine.
The hospital level has increased.
What, what.
I'm gunna hire another doctor.
Barney Roadkill, who doesn't think it's a big deal.
I don't know what that means,
but let's put him in here.
Why is this person confused?
Oh no, that's the nurse.
Why is she confused?
Oh, she's on break.
Our doctor's have diagnosed a patient with Lightheadedness,
but you need a De-Luxe Clinic for Lightheadness.
You don't need a De-Luxe Clinic,
you just need a family medicine doctors office,
but apparently I have to build a De-Luxe Clinic
for these fancy fancy patients in here.
The De-Luxe Clinic has been established
and every part of the hospital needs a plant.
What happened to this patient?
His feeling is he's dying?
Why fail trip, no!
Oh no, we need a janitor with ghost certification.
Who has ghost certification?
I don't have the janitor, who has ghost certification.
What does the ghost even do?
We may have too many doctor, several are currently idle.
How?
Put this doctor in here seeing patients.
There we go, look at that revenue.
We gained 14k.
We're picking it up.
We're about to become a 1 star hospital, I feel it.
Oh, I'm 1 star hospital!
Congratulations, your hospital has been
awarded a 1 star rating, yeah.
We're bringing in 79,
and we're only spending 55, that's pretty good.
What's a better policy?
Threshold for patient for treatment,
let's do a little bit, like an 85% if we're sure.
So we treat more.
The queue warning length.
Yeah, 6.
Fast-Track patient treatment decision, I like it,
because some things are very simple,
you can just go, boom boom boom.
- Boom boom boom.
- I think this is self-sufficient,
let's go run that next hospital back.
It's a lovely little village with a big problem.
A significant proportion of the population
believe themselves to be rock stars.
There's only one thing that can cure this, psychiatry.
What about psychologists?
Only doctors with a Psychiatry Qualification will
be able to diagnose and treat people in a Psychiatry room.
We've managed to find one,
but you should keep your eyes peeled
for job applicants with Psychiatry
and other useful qualifications.
We need to build a Psychiatry room.
Door will be here, chair will be here,
patients will be right beside,
a bin to throw away ideas,
and the plant to make the patients to feel at ease,
and a Lightheaded poster, whatever that means.
Okay, let's launch our Psychiatry center.
Oh, we gotta hire someone right?
Doctors with psychiatry skills.
Yup, let's hire this person.
We're gunna be bringing in some moolah.
See the problem with running a hospital is,
you wanna run it like a business
where revenues are higher than spending,
but also you gotta remember your helping people
and saving them from illness,
so it's such a convoluted picture.
Oh my god, I would never want that kind of stress.
Why is this person heart broken?
Sir, where are you going?
Come back.
I couldn't even click on him.
Why is this person angry, or heart broken?
Wait, sir.
Treatment failed?
What are we doing?
I'm struggling so hard.
Look, I'm a doctor, I'm not a hospital administrator.
This is difficult stuff.
Oh, 6000 dollars.
Look at that revenue, 22 thousand, expenses nine thousand.
There we go.
All right, let's lower prices a little bit.
Maybe we can get people to come here.
10% discount, let's get people hyped.
(upbeat music)
I feel like I'm actually running a hospital,
and I feel like I'm doing a pretty good job.
Not gunna lie, this is a fun game.
We need a Psychiatrist, oh my god.
We're running out of doctors.
There's no other psychiatry people.
Look at all these dizzy people that are getting better.
Yeah.
All right, did we get level two?
Congratulations, your hospital's given a 1 star rating,
what's up?
If you wanna have a good time I put together
an extra special playlist right here for you,
that if you click on it
you'll stay happy and healthy as always.
I'll see you in the playlist.
(upbeat electronic music)