DUNKEY: Come on, man. It's the very first level.
JESSE: Oh shit.
DUNKEY: It's the easiest one.
JESSE: I don't want to get crushed.
JESSE: Come on.
DUNKEY: It's the first level!
JESSE: [Frustrated] NOOO!
JESSE: I play with a keyboard; it's really hard.
DUNKEY: There you go, there you go.
DUNKEY: Fuck this.
[Dunkey laughing]
JESSE: WHAT?!
[continued laughter]
DUNKEY: BONK!
[even more laughing]
DUNKEY: BANK!
[too much laughing]
JESSE: This is fucking bullshit.
JESSE: Fucking LET ME OUT!
[laughing]
JESSE: Are you fucking kidding me?
DUNKEY: Jesse just quit out.
SKY: Why?
DUNKEY: I don't know, I was helping him win and he just, he quit.
SKY: Did he get mad?
[Dunkey laughing]
JESSE: Can you fucking stop?!
DUNKEY: I won't do it again. I won't do it again.
DUNKEY: Ha!
[Dunkey laughing]
DUNKEY: All right, all right, I'll stop.
DUNKEY: You want me to stop?
JESSE: Yeah.
DUNKEY: OK.
DUNKEY: Too bad.
JESSE: OHH MY GOD
[Dunkey laughing]
DUNKEY: One second, man. Leah wants to play, OK?
[Leah and Dunkey laughing hysterically]
JESSE: Can you fucking stop?
DUNKEY: [whispering] Wait for Jesse to beat the whole thing, then jump on his head, OK?
LEAH: [whispering] OK.
[muffled laughing]
JESSE: I can hear what you guys are saying.
SKY: God dammit, Jason.
SKY: Just beat the level.
DUNKEY: C'mon man.
DUNKEY: If I beat the level, what do you learn by that? You know?
SKY: Oh my god, it's been so long!
DUNKEY: It's only been two and a half hours.
DUNKEY: On this specific level.
DUNKEY: You got this, c'mon.
DUNKEY: You almost got it.
DUNKEY: There you go.
DUNKEY: Here, let me show you how to do it. Let me show you.
[Dunkey laughing]
SKY: Beat the fucking level, or so help me god.
DUNKEY: C'mon, you got this.
JESSE: Come the fuck on, dude.
DUNKEY: You got this.
DUNKEY: Come on.
DUNKEY: You know how to do that.
DUNKEY: There you go -
DUNKEY: Ooh, there you go, c'mon -
DUNKEY: You got this!
DUNKEY: Oh, look at you! You did it!
DUNKEY: You did it.
DUNKEY: There you go -
DUNKEY: You're fucking garbage.
DUNKEY: You're fucking -
JESSE: Shut the fuck up!
JESSE: All right, I know what to do for the blade now.
JESSE: See? Watch.
JESSE: If I start this time, it goes across...
JESSE: OK -
JESSE: OK!
JESSE: You see? All, right I'm starting to get it. DUNKEY: You see?
DUNKEY: Now you're starting to get it.
DUNKEY: There you go.
DUNKEY: Now you got it.
DUNKEY: Ah, there you go.
DUNKEY: What are you doing?!
DUNKEY: C'mon!
JESSE: I'm trying!
DUNKEY: What are you even...
DUNKEY: You're just dying to the first thing!
JESSE: Can you just fucking go right?!
DUNKEY: You almost have it. I swear to god.
DUNKEY: You're so close.
JESSE: Oh my gooooood.
DUNKEY: Just c'mon.
SKY: Oh -
SKY: Oh!
SKY: WINWINWINWINWINWINWIN
SKY: JASON
SKY: Jason.
SKY:What
SKY: The fuck?!
SKY: GOD.
SKY: Stop!
SKY: Nooooo!
SKY: Jason!
SKY: Fuck you.
JESSE: All right, c'mon.
DUNKEY: Turbo mode:
DUNKEY: Activate.
DUNKEY: Here I go.
[exciting music playing]
DUNKEY: I'm coming.
DUNKEY: Engage turbo thrusters.
JESSE: Come the fuck on!
DUNKEY: Jet mode enabled.
JESSE: All right, c'mon.
DUNKEY: Here I go.
DUNKEY: Mega boosters online.
DUNKEY: Here I come.
JESSE: Come the fuck on.
DUNKEY: I have now entered warp speed.
JESSE: Jesus fucking -
[Jesse groans]
DUNKEY: Here I go.
DUNKEY: Super mode - [ music stops ]
DUNKEY: Are you kidding me?
DUNKEY: Now I gotta start all over again.
[music restarts]
[Jesse laughing]
DUNKEY: You're so fucked when I get over there.
PBAT: Oh, what the fuck? It makes you put in my CD key?
DUNKEY: Yep. It's one of those games.
PBAT: God fucking -
PBAT: Why?
DUNKEY: It's the only game with a CD key . PBAT: That's so stupid.
DUNKEY: There's no resolutions, either.
PBAT: Is there at least controller -
PBAT: Yeah, there's controller support.
DUNKEY: There's no controls.
PBAT: There's no controls? [Laughing]
DUNKEY: OK, this is the tutorial.
PBAT: Fuck you! Let's fucking -
DUNKEY: I can jump on your head whenever I want. PBAT: JASON!
PBAT: God, I can't even -
[both laughing]
PBAT: Fuck you.
PBAT: Let me kill you. This is bullshit.
DUNKEY: Gotcha! [laughing]
PBAT: How the fuck do you keep getting it?
DUNKEY: I'm good at this game.
PBAT: Also why do I have, like, a fucking banana on my...
PBAT: Why do I have a banana peel?
DUNKEY: How did you get a banana?
PBAT: What is this supposed to be? Do you see it in my hand?
DUNKEY: That's a like a, um...
PBAT: Like a yellow banana peel?
DUNKEY: It's like a little -
DUNKEY: You piece of shit!
DUNKEY: Damn!
PBAT: Oh fuck, I didn't see that.
[ victorious music playing ] DUNKEY: I put your music on man.
DUNKEY: C'mon.
DUNKEY: Your favorite jam.
DUNKEY: You can do this!
DUNKEY: There you go!
DUNKEY: There you go! C'mon!
DUNKEY: Bring it home.
DUNKEY: You got this! C'mon man.
JESSE: All right, I do got it.
JESSE: Gotta chill out before I -
DUNKEY: Don't get nervous.
JESSE: OK.
[music stops]
[frustrated screaming]
DUNKEY: OK, Dion.
PBAT: Go.
DUNKEY: You distract the bullets...
PBAT: Jason, go!
DUNKEY: Meanwhile, I'll sneak past. PBAT: I'm distracting them, move!
PBAT: Move!
PBAT: I can't... I can't keep... I can't keep doing this. It's im...fuck...
PBAT: Go!
PBAT: Get over the thing! DUNKEY: OK, I'm ready.
DUNKEY: Here I go.
PBAT: Oh my god.
PBAT: Gotta go down... DUNKEY: Now be careful!
PBAT: Up, around... DUNKEY: Watch out for the hand.
PBAT: What hand?
PBAT: I don't see a hand!
DUNKEY: The hand, you got to watch out for the hand.
PBAT: What hand, J?!
DUNKEY: Gotta juke it out.
PBAT: I don't see a hand!
DUNKEY: Juke the hand out.
DUNKEY: That hand.
PBAT: Goddammit.
DUNKEY: And... dead.
JESSE: Don't say anything!
DUNKEY: And...
DUNKEY: Dead.
DUNKEY: Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd...
DUNKEY: Dead.
DUNKEY: And dead.
DUNKEY: And dea-
DUNKEY: Oh my god! You can do this!
DUNKEY: C'mon man!
DUNKEY: You're right at the finish line!
DUNKEY: Just bring it home.
DUNKEY: You got this!
JESSE: YEEAAAAAAAAAHHHH
DUNKEY: But watch out for the red guy.