I'm not afraid of intimacy are you crazy
how can I be afraid of intimacy when the
internet calls me the Taylor Swift of
YouTube um I'd like to be excluded from
this thread shut up but in working with
the dating coach I know I know it sounds
extra spark but it's been really helpful
so just to spend your judgement I've
found that most of her principles
actually deal with the self so though
you'd think a dating coach is someone
who would help you answer texts or work
on her online dating profile she mostly
focuses on all of your and
emphasizes working on yourself to accept
love from someone else hey you're great
like you I look
I love you okay bye and when the issue
of intimacy initially came up I almost
laughed it was like oh no intimacy is
something I deeply crave trust me I have
no commitment issues and then she was
like oh really well do any of these
sound like you dismissing someone on the
first date because of no chemistry
sleeping with someone too soon
feeling bored when the other person does
everything right being nitpicky about
small things feeling intensely about the
other person right away and therefore
projecting onto them and choosing
unavailable men ah you know maybe maybe
like one of those and these specific
symptoms of being afraid of intimacy
usually stems from you guys did children
a lack of self-worth when someone is
treating us nicely and things are going
well to the person with no self-worth
it feels unfamiliar and strange pain is
what we know abandonment is what we know
longing
tension anxiety those are all of our
feelings associated with love not things
being easy flowing and joyful no I'm not
suffering I'm clearly not in love and if
you like me
felt personally attacked by these six
signs know that love does not feel like
we think it should because our
associations are wrong the beginning
shouldn't be intense that is a red flag
that we're buying into our idea of a
person and not who they actually are
chemistry can develop as you get to know
them and dismissing them off the bat
disallows that it takes a while to get
to know a person and those nitpicky
things that annoy you now may be
overshadowed by the amazing qualities
the person has to offer and sleeping
with someone releases the chemical in
women to him
a bond so if you do that before you
really know a person you shouldn't be
surprised when you wake up and discover
you're in love with a narcissist you
know the photo honestly I was really
surprised that I have fears of intimacy
I mean given my history of being like a
serial monogamist I would have guessed
that my problems were probably from a
lack of self-worth but surprise I am
afraid of intimacy and I have problems
of self-worth yes children yes I have
the best of both worlds baby but the
good news is that once you're self-aware
like most things you can actively begin
combating these fears if intimacy and a
real relationship are what you really
want then you can start taking note of
all of your actions and your patterns
and ask yourself am i making these
decisions because the other person
genuinely isn't right for me or am I
afraid of developing an authentic
connection with this human being
so stop sabotaging your love life
because as much as we think we don't
deserve love we do keep working on it
I'm Anna Akana
and I I'm Anna Akana and I love myself
okay bye thank you to Squarespace for
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