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there was an occasion where things
didn't go according to plan we took a
detour and a gun was produced and was I
was threatened until I was suspected of
being an undercover detective I chose to
say of course I am it's exactly who I am
and exactly you were absolutely right
that she there was a kind of
pause there was a kind of moment in the
car where you you know you think it will
go either way and then there was
laughter and then we went had a drink
and I remember having a drink and I went
off to Lille and I was and I vomited
through that three or four minutes
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as an undercover officer the important
thing before deployment is to build up
your legend your identity creating a
character a profile that will stand some
scrutiny so it depends on what you were
being deployed to do so if you were
about to buy the drugs you'd have to be
very convincing as a drug buyer if you
were buying firearms you know you'd have
to be comfortable breaking down weapons
and look believable that you understood
exactly what type of firearms you apply
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you are creating a fictitious character
so there's always a danger of discovery
you are constantly in fear of being
exposed of being seen as not who you say
you are
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as an undercover officer one of the
things you would do religiously was to
try clean yourself by that I would mean
take every precaution you could to make
sure that you weren't being followed
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this was a place that I use particularly
if I wanted to abandon the vehicle that
I might be using and to really dry clean
myself and make sure that I hadn't been
compromised
in that life within that role I worked
on many cases and in a wide variety of
guises some of these may only involve a
few days work a few hours the telephone
cord sometimes it might be long term
deployment in one case about two and a
half years
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so somewhere like this on a ferry would
be a good opportunity to actually meet
with your cover man cover men we often
refer to as your uncle sometimes you've
become so involved in a job that you
might not see clearly that you might not
make the right decision but hopefully
you're recover man your uncle could see
but it might just be a step too far that
the risk might be too great that you had
been in situ for too long that you have
not seen clearly anymore maybe it was
time to take a step back
if it was a drug operation it's about
keeping a clear head and never using I
think for any undercover officer that's
the path to take but here's the simple
truth if somebody put a gun to your head
or in your mouth and said I tell you
what you and I can have this line now
and if we do that then I'm sure we're
gonna get on very well and I'm not gonna
have any questions you know are you
being who you are if your place in that
situation what do you do because they'll
all would say well of course we don't
encourage undercover officers to take
drugs but no management would have taken
a view that you should have just flatly
refused then sort of becoming addicted
or having a dependency you know on drugs
I can understand how that could easily
happen
I can remember an officer who's
something of a mentor in terms of
undercover policing told me if I could
at all avoid working on either a
pedophile case or a corruption case to
avoid it because of the damage it was
likely to do to you and I didn't listen
in terms of working on a pedophile case
this story as I understood it was that I
was kind of a similar kind of persuasion
there was supposed to be a level of
understanding that we both knew what
each other sort of proclivities were it
was surreal
extremely difficult you know knowing
what crimes this individual had
committed and I wasn't a father then I
am there but even then it was very
difficult being the company of this at
this man you know there were moments
again looking about where I think he was
testing you know two hours and storming
them I still remember that case now you
know
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this world can eventually you up
and were the last cases I worked on
worst police corruption I was called to
the yard Scotland Yard to a meeting with
the man who ran the undercover unit at
that time and I was asked to infiltrate
a group of senior officers suspected of
corruption during that long difficult
infiltration I was subject to
allegations and that proved to be
groundless and the allegations were
withdrawn but that had severely
compromised the corruption inquiry it
was very difficult to know what was
happening because nobody from the mek
contacted me
it's a debrief me there was good reason
to believe that the reason I'd be
suspended was a softening up process to
coerce me into spying on other suspended
officers so it was a very complicated
double bluff that corruption inquiry
there was clearly substance to it and it
probably started from a good place but
it itself became corrupted
and that was the first job where I felt
really kind of isolated and not know
connected to the organization it really
was a poisoned chalice but I certainly
suffered a mental sort of deterioration
during that time
you could see there were elements of of
God's work within the management God's
work is the manipulation of facts truth
to fit the agenda and so if pressure is
put on senior managers to do the right
thing on behalf of the organization they
will do that I thought back then that
undercover policing it was a pure form
of policing it would not be subject to
whatever agenda was being discussed in
the high office within Scotland Yard
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coming to a place like this to have to a
football stadium here you were in the
company of thousands anonymous and you
could relax this was somewhere that I
wanted to come and just be myself and to
lose myself in the crowd if I was
pressed was it worth all the pain and
the suffering you know I spent time at a
psychiatric unit twice how I reconciled
it that at every point at every Junction
had I not stopped and turned left or
right of navigating my way through it I
would not be the person I am today I can
see a positive in it I understand who I
am of what I do now so so good you know
I mean it's a good thing it's a kind of
you know you look back