neuroplasticity and porn use, i'm dr. trish leigh, cognitive neuroscientist and sex addiction
recovery coach, in this video we're going to talk about neuroplasticity and some important concepts
that you're using on a daily basis whether you know it or not to wire into your brain the porn
brain pattern through continual use and at the end of this video i'm going to show you how to
unwire that pattern rewire your brain for healthy sexuality and healthy de-stressing mechanisms
and then how to keep that pattern being hardwired in for the long run so you can
ride off into the sunset so let's dig in first of all neuroplasticity what does that mean
neuro simply means brain plasticity means change ability so neuroplasticity refers to
your brain's ability to change over time now the changing over time isn't willy-nilly
it is very intentional and the first concept that we're going to talk about is called hebb's law
neurons that fire together wire together so when you do the same behaviors over and over especially
if it's coupled to something in your environment then when you keep doing that you are using the
same neurons the same neural pathways neurons that fire together wire together so it works like this
let's say you had uncomfortable feelings in the world when you were younger
and simultaneously you found porn and masturbation so the world is giving you stress but the screen
is making you feel better that is hebb's law at play when you were young so what happens is
you've associated porn and masturbation with the way to take off the edge of stress and boredom
in your life because that very first time that it happened those neurons fired together and
they wired together stress stress relief the screen and it's just like if you were
to touch a hot stove if you touched a hot stove when you were young and you got burnt
those neural pathways were coupled together hot stove equals burn don't do again neurons that
fire together wire together but in this case it's being coupled with porn used to feel good from the
stressors of life now this is the tricky thing with neuroplasticity it does not discriminate it
doesn't discriminate if you're doing something that's unhealthy for you or healthy for you
so obviously if you learn to keep your hand off of a hot stove that is a healthy response and a
healthy use of neuroplasticity if your brain learns to keep going back into the screen
to feel relief from stress and escapism or take the edge off boredom that's an unhealthy use of
neuroplasticity remember it's change ability and we associate neuroplasticity with improvement
but it's only improvement if you're doing the right things it will keep you stuck in a
negative feedback loop if you're doing the wrong things and when you go into the screen it is a
super normal stimulus which means it's flooding your brain with dopamine and giving your brain
more dopamine than can be found in the world so that coupling response and those neurons
firing together to wire together is happening hardcore when you are young and we know from the
science the younger brain is when it's exposed to porn the harder that's wired in initially so
what happens next and this is the second concept that we're going to talk about
is anti-hebbian learning how do you undo that well it's the use it or lose it principle so if you
keep using these neural pathways it's just like a pathway in the sand so if you've ever been to the
beach and you're you are you know being thrown off or your calves are dying because you're trying to
navigate the sand and you're digging in and then you find a pathway that somebody's already cut
ahead of you and you just get in that groove and you walk in that groove it's much easier to walk
on the beach because that neural pathway that pathway in the sand has already been grooved in
that's how it works with porn use if you grooved that pathway in the sand when you were young now
your brain just keeps taking that pathway to escape from stress to feel good and that's the
use it or lose it if you keep using it that pathway in the sand is going to stay there
and it's actually going to keep rutting itself in deeper so anti-hebbian learning states that if you
stop taking that neural pathway you stop walking in that groove in the sand it's going to cover
itself up but the most important thing you can do is to start taking a new pathway in the sand
yes it's going to be a little bit challenging at the beginning because you really have to dig
those footprints into the sand and really start cutting that pathway so it might be challenging
at first but remember nothing good comes without a little bit of challenge that's the reality that's
growth so when you start walking in the sand it might be difficult because now you have to cut
this new pathway but over time this new pathway in the sand is going to be the one that's grooved
in opposed to the porn pathway is going to wash over and you won't even be able to see it anymore
so what happens is what anti-hebbian learning is you stop taking the pathways towards porn
you don't use it if you don't use it you will lose this pathway and when you start taking
the new healthy neural pathway and i'm going to tell you what that involves in one second
when you start taking this healthy neural pathway you will groove this in permanently
but i have to warn you delta phosphy is a transcription factor so it's kind of like in your
pathway in the sand moving towards porn it's kind of like it's been really deeply grooved in there
and so you you might always see that pathway so if you go to the beach and you accidentally
go down that pathway it's going to cut itself again much more easily than a brand new pathway
but the beauty is if you stay off that pathway it's going to stay so sanded over that
it's never going to fire up by itself but if you do walk down it it's going to cut itself easy
so you stay off that pathway so the delta phosphy transcription factor doesn't suck you back
in you have to build a foundation and protect that foundation that's what i teach people in my 90 day
program now back to the healthy neural pathways in the sand if you keep taking these pathways
what happens is you're now teaching your brain that this is the way that we de-stress
this is the way that we feel good in the world when stress hits or boredom hits and it has to
include new healthy dopamine producing activities that's why i'm always sharing with you that the
way out of this thing is to get on purpose in your life in your work in your relationships and
in your hobbies when you are moving towards something and you're using this new neural pathway
it is so much easier to stay off the other pathway and it's so much easier to teach your
brain to use neuroplasticity in a healthy way through learning that feels good to you instead
of pain and we know if you keep taking this neural pathway towards porn it ends up in a very complex
pleasure pain paradox so when you stay off of it and you take the new pathways towards your
favorite things in the world and you re-teach your brain the world is where the joy and the happiness
and the serotonin the happiness neurotransmitter is it won't need a flood of dopamine anymore
joy happiness peppered with some pleasure okay so that's anti-hebbian learning you teach yourself
through your behaviors your actions your thoughts and your attitudes to stay off the old pathway
get on the new one and stay on it because if you use it you will continue to groove the pathways if
you don't use it you will lose it use it or lose it so neurons that fire together wire together
and use it or lose it those are our primary principles plus neuroplasticity is your best
friend if you're taking your new pathway and your worst enemy if you keep taking the old one
it is either an upward spiral or a downward spiral there's no such thing as a horizontal spiral and
that is another concept that's called a feedback loop and so you can have a negative feedback
loop which i'm sure some of you out there are experiencing a negative feedback loop is you watch
porn it makes you feel good in the moment linking your brain to the screen it makes you feel worse
afterward giving you more stress in the world which is the a b effect of porn addiction so now
your world feels doubly difficult which pushes you back into the screen which makes you consume more
porn consistently frequently with increased intensity because tolerance builds pretty
quickly for most people now you have increased anxiety you might feel lack of motivation
you might feel depressed you don't want to go into the world because there's no dopamine there you've
taught your brain that your relationships might start deteriorating because anger
is a side effect of porn irritability dr jekyll and mr hyde you may not be doing as well in work
your income goes down this is a negative feedback loop you keep going to a behavior to feel okay
because your brain is so linked to it neurons that fire together wire together so what happens is
you're stuck in it and you need more and more of it just to feel okay not even good anymore
that's the opposite of a positive feedback loop a positive feedback loop is now you stay out of
the screen and yes it's a little bit challenging while you're building this new pathway in the sand
but pretty quickly you start feeling a little bit better if you're struggling with erectile
dysfunction that starts to clear up your libido starts to come online in a healthy way you stop
thinking about sex all the time and you're excited to be with your partner or you're excited to find
a partner and that feels good and then your work starts to improve your brain fog starts to clear
you're more motivated you connect with friends you're glad to be at work instead of trying
to rush out of it to get into the screen on a friday night you're out with your friends at a
comedy show going to a comedy show tonight with my friends you're at a comedy show and you're
just being present you're able to laugh with your friends you're getting dopamine and serotonin from
that comedy show you're able to be present and so what that does is it links your brain to your
world and it unlinks your brain from the screen positive feedback loop upward spiral breaking the
downward spiral there's literally no such thing in this thing as just sitting in one place going
nowhere you're either going up or going down and that's how it works in terms of a feedback loop in
terms of neurological functioning okay so here's your brain tip strategy for the day i want you to
understand neuroplasticity can be your best friend if you're stuck in the screen right now it is your
worst enemy that hijackers hijacked your brain and it's time to get the control back the way to do it
is to start using your neurons to fire together and wire together towards purpose in your life
and to unwire the porn brain pattern by not going into the screen anymore use it or lose it
let's lose the porn brain pathway let's build the purpose in your life pathway
then what you're gonna do is create this amazing feedback loop reward yourself doubly two times
it's gonna be a reward in and of itself to be taking the positive feedback loop
then if you hit yourself with double rewards your brain will chase down the reward currently it's
being rewarded by a dopamine deluge in the screen so give it some dopamine hits in the world also
because that's the purging reboot it's looking for that so you need to purge the need for dopamine
while you're rewiring your brain to move in that direction so at every little objective
every little small win gave yourself something that produces dopamine dark chocolate with sea
salt personal favorite of mine even though i've been on a cleanse it's going to be sober comedy
show tonight for me and my homies because we've all been on a cleanse it is literally cracking
me up thinking about the eight of us sitting at a table with no food in eight waters it's
gonna be the funniest comedy show in the world god help that comedian because i'm not even
sure if they will be funny but the idea and being with my friends is going to be so funny
okay so positive feedback loop you got to use that and give yourself the dopamine hits
dark chocolate with sea salt your favorite hobby a favorite snack and the reason i say
dark chocolate is neuroscience shows it has a lot of dopamine food can be dopamine producing
and that's a good direction to go do not reward yourself with anything sexual we're breaking
that feedback loop okay so another aspect of the brain tip is balance the scales i've talked about
this before so this is what i want you to think about neuroplasticity best friend worst enemy
the way it becomes your best friend is by piling up the positive things that you do in the world
and taking off the negative negative things that you do that are associated with porn and sexual
acting out stop watching porn stop trolling on social media asexual media habit decrease that
i want you to think about why why are you doing these things why are you on instagram
looking at stills get off it and get in the world if you're watching tv at night why is it to relax
that's a healthy mood regulation activity as long as it's not loaded or triggered with sexual
activity so pile on the positive things by doing the things that you like in your life take any and
all of the negative things off of the scale as it has to do with porn consumption and sexual acting
out all right i hope that helps you out and as always if you're looking for help in this journey
please reach out to me dr trishly.com i have programs in all shapes and sizes my 90-day program
is scientifically proven to be able to help you move through this thing with support from me and
my team so we'd love to help you if it feels good and secondarily we are going upstream to help kids
not get hooked on porn because more kids than ever are hooked on porn and it is terrible next
generation stuff so if you're inspired to help me please consider donating to the nonprofit
pornbrainprevention.org because every single dollar makes a difference and i appreciate it
so much and the world will appreciate it too okay remember control your brain or it'll control you