Hey guys!
So I wanted to show you what I'm actually doing while in quarantine.
I think the point I want to make is:
It's okay if you want to be productive,
but it's also okay if you don't want to be productive.
There is no obligation to be productive right now.
It's okay to not feel guilty.
Don't feel bad if you are just doing nothing,
because during this crazy time it's okay to just be, just exist.
You are perfect as you are.
Be kind and gentle with yourself.
And that's what matters most during this time.
it's okay to be a little messy.
This is where I put all the clothes that I'm wearing on repeat,
all the sweaters and sweats I wear indoors.
That chair’s for outdoor wear,
when we have to go out – very rarely – to get groceries.
This is my aesthetic.
So some days I just stay in my PJs.
But to not feel like a total slob,
I usually change into some workout clothes
so that I feel a little bit more motivated
to work out sometime during the day.
So I've cut up a lemon and I put it in this mason jar,
so I have these lemon slices on hand.
Then I squeeze it in my water
because lemon has vitamin C
and it helps boost your immune system.
So hot water with lemon in the morning is good.
- I gotta do three packaging...
- Okay.
- One website, apply for four loans...
Everything by 7 PM - Just go...
Go go go go!
- Why are you not busy?!
- Hm? Me? You're talking to me?
- How are you not like – - I'm filming right now!
What are you talking about?
- How are you not slammed with COVID-19 stuff right now?
- I'm working!
Okay, back to the fruit bowl.
So I usually use whatever fruit I have.
Today, there are apples, grapes, bananas,
and I'm adding a little plain yogurt with a little bit of agave.
Mix the agave in with the yogurt,
and then I'm adding my favorite granola with pumpkin seed and flax.
This stuff is so good, I'm putting it on everything.
So we moved some chairs outside so we can spend more time outdoors.
We usually eat outside if the weather's nice.
And Wilson also enjoys working out here as well.
So now I'm in my office.
I'm just going to answer some emails and get some work done today.
I'll do my best.
I took a little break from work to post a new TikTok.
After I made that post about racism and xenophobia
and how Asians all over the world are getting
verbally and physically abused, harassed, attacked,
I just felt like I wanted to speak up about it.
But I got so much criticism –
I guess most people were supportive,
but then I did get either racist comments or comments of criticism,
and it was just a lot.
I am a sensitive person and certain things still trigger me,
and it's teaching me to understand even more
that you can't please everyone.
I can't be perfect.
I can't be everything to everyone.
And I recognize that some people see me as a figure
and they put a lot of expectations on me to say certain things
or behave a certain way, when the reality is:
I'm just a normal person.
And I said – I don't regret anything that I said.
I don't think it was – I personally don't think it was controversial,
but some people do and that's okay.
But anyway, it was just real heavy.
I had to cry.
I tried to work.
I couldn't, and then I was like,
“Forget it. I'm just going to do something completely different.”
So I just played games and hung out with Wilson
and FaceTimed friends and that's it.
So today's actually my first day doing something work-related in like four days.
My to do list has basically been pushed back day after day after day after day.
And I feel like things that I wanted to get done at the beginning of March,
I still haven't gotten done yet, and it's the end of March.
So that's life.
It's okay.
I just want to share this process.
By the way, this is the book that I'm currently reading right now, if you guys are curious.
So the weather was nice enough to put out a blanket and do yoga outside.
I've been loving the app Down Dog for yoga because it's so customizable.
Today I'm doing a hatha yoga flow.
Yoga is my way to move my body, stretch,
ease any tension and stress or emotions that have been building up.
It's just so relieving.
It's for my mental health as much as it is for my physical health.
Then I'm just going back and finishing up a little more work before I just play.
Welcome to my favorite part of the day:
vegging out on the couch and playing Pokemon.
I started playing Pokemon Pearl on my old Nintendo DS.
It's been so fun and addicting and nostalgic.
Today I had to battle the Elite Four,
which is the final challenge of the game,
and I'm actually so proud that I beat the game.
Guys, it's the first time that I've ever beat a game.
I used to play games and get lazy or get stuck and give up,
so this is a huge accomplishment for me.
Okay, so your girl decided to dress up on a Saturday
because it felt like a beautiful day.
The weather was nice.
We were streaming music and hanging out with friends.
We've been hang out with friends on Houseparty pretty often.
And I think it was fun because there was a live festival streaming.
We're all listening to music at the same time and just hanging out.
Then I decided to finally re-pot my plant.
This is Lila, my fiddle leaf fig,
and I am changing her pot to this big one.
She has outgrown her pot.
I don't know if you guys remember when I got her two years ago.
She was so small and now she's basically my height.
So to repot your plant, you're supposed to put rocks on the bottom.
I realized we didn't have enough rocks,
because this pot is pretty big – it's a 14 inch.
And then you add soil.
After adding soil, you're supposed to de-root your plant for the transfer.
- Hey!
Okay.
It looks like this. Isn't that crazy?
Oh my god, what a crazy long root!
- Grab it, grab it!
- Dude, this is insane!
Oh my god.
- Hey, no no no!
- [Gasp]
- Wilson!
That's a new leaf!
[Screaming]
- It got punctured.
- This is one of the proudest leaves, one of the biggest ones!
- Don't worry. - Oh sh*t. How dare you?
- You gotta cut it. Cut it, you don't need that one.
All right, got my snack: apples, peanut butter, some granola.
I am streaming Kaskade right now.
And I'm gonna play a little Pokemon.
Saturday!
Basically, we spent the rest of the afternoon
listening to music, snacking, and hanging out with friends.
It really was like our first virtual festival,
because we were all streaming at the same time.
[Video chatting]
Clearly, we're so silly and I had so much fun that day.
I mean, why not?
I know this was kind of a random vlog,
but I think I wanted to show that
this is a time where I'm trying to go slower.
I'm not really making too many plans.
I'm giving myself very little to do's.
And even though I had a really long to do list
of so many things I could do to be productive,
I'm really just following my heart,
being gentle with myself during this time,
because it's okay to not want to be super productive during a pandemic.
It's our first time really going through something like this on this scale.
This is forcing us to change our routines.
We're being forced to reset, to reconsider our values and priorities.
And I feel like I am prioritizing more of my joy
and happiness and time with my loved ones,
rather than being productive with work.
A part of me does feel guilty for working less
and not producing as much as other content creators out there,
because I see a lot of people posting more, going live, and doing all of this.
Whereas I just want to slow down.
I want to do less.
So I'm reminding myself that it is not a competition.
I need to walk my own path,
listen to my heart and my gut, wherever it's taking me.
And I do feel like I am transforming through this.
Honestly, I've just been following my joy.
And maybe two weeks ago I was all about TikTok dances and learning all the dances.
And this week I'm not –
I'm not excited to be on TikTok or even learn any dance.
And this week I was more excited about playing Pokemon or reading this new book,
and I'm changing week after week.
And I want to show you guys that it's okay to change.
It's okay to not have the same routine.
It's okay to explore and discover new parts of yourself,
because we are not just one thing.
We are multifaceted and multi-dimensional,
and it's a lifelong journey to, first: learn and discover
all of these different parts of yourself.
You're going to keep discovering more and more parts to yourself.
And also: to learn to embrace yourself for all that you are
and be able to express yourself authentically to the world.
And one of the things that I like to remind myself is
to aim to be the fullest expression of myself.
Don't hide any parts of myself.
Learn to just be vulnerable, show it all, all parts of me.
And that's something that I'm still learning to do,
but I think that I'm getting better at it.
I have less shame, I care less.
I think the root of that is more self love,
self acceptance, recognizing my true worth,
so that I don't have to prove myself to people out there.
With that being said, if you're watching til now,
you're probably one of my loyal viewers
because most people don't watch it to this point.
So I want to ask you:
What do you want to see from me moving forward?
I don't want to do the same ideas over and over again,
although it's the same ideas that people want to see.
And I don't know, I just want to transform and elevate things.
I guess I'm in a place where I'm just wondering:
What does the next level look like?
And that question is for me personally,
for my business, and for the world right now.
I think we are leveling up, changing in a big way,
and right now I'm still not even sure what that looks like,
but I'm just taking it one day at a time.
Again, following my joy and trusting that if I follow my joy
and my heart and my light,
then I will be on the right path,
and I should really stop caring about what other people are doing
and just focus on my path.