Hi I’m Jake Mcbeard Face not to be confused with Jake clean-shaven face.
And I’m glad that I get to see you again for another episode.
And I know that you could be doing anything right now.
Hanging out with your friends besides me which is fine.
I thought that we had a connection.
You could be doing a mural.
You could be sailing the ocean.
You could be watching-grass-grow.com.
Which, can ya guess?
It’s a DONG, something you can do online now guys.
On My Most Beautiful Nightmare poems about dreams are consolidated to get you to really
listen to the subconscious.
Sometimes we dream things that make total sense at the time but are so weird that when
we wake up we don’t think about it again.
But this site prevents you from ignoring them.
Some you may relate to in a way like this one where you just forget your clothes and
everyone’s laughing at you and it’s embarrassing.
The way these poems are written makes you feel like you’re in the dream as opposed
to just listening to a recap of it.
But for a recap of how small you are check out
How Big Is Space.
A scrolling experience where you are taken increasingly higher and higher even though
on the screen it looks like you’re going down.
It may not seem like much until you realize that each pixel represents 100 meters so this
distance is about a mile.
Throughout it are facts like 80 km is the lowest altitude of the Aurora Borealis.
Just keep going and going and oh no, radiation has been detected.
But I’m not scared so I’m gonna scroll all the way into the
Life of the Blue Whale.
The Natural History Museum provides you with the opportunity to interact with their blue
whale display in one of these scenes.
Let’s go for the middle.
Oh it even has museum sounds so I don’t feel left out and sad...or should I say blue.
Because of blue whales.
Click on one of the icons to learn things like the history of human interaction with
blue whales or the difficulty in studying them.
If you go to the ocean you’ll learn about things like the whale’s behavior.
They can eat 457,000 kcals a day whereas we supposedly only eat about 2,000 to 2,500 so
challenge accepted whales mainly because I want to up my fitness level on
Worldfitnesslevel.org, a site where you enter a variety of factors to see how in shape you
are for your age.
Enter age, height, or how often you work out.
For me almost every day look at those biceps.
And there are a lot more questions it can take you through that ask you about your past
self too.
But if you just can’t wait to find out how in shape you are then go now and admire that
I am as fit as a 20-year-old.
Which is weird because I’m only 14.
Excuse me can you turn that down?
Your face is too loud!!!
On PeekaBeat upload a photo of yourself to see what kind of music matches your face.
Grab a few so you can see how each one is interpreted differently.
It will also display the emotion it detects.
Now crank that volume up to listen to your face.
Wow I sound beautiful but please don’t fall for me like
This macaroni falls peacefully down the screen.
There’s not that much to it other than you staring at mouthwatering noodles floating
in a dark abyss.
Pick a favorite noodle.
This one?
Maybe that one?
And as time goes by more and more fill your screen and your heart with wonder.
Noodles.
I am relaxed so let's switch gears to
Color switch.
Which is really really hard no matter what anyone tells you!
Why?
Well because you have to pass this ball through the moving obstacles but if you touch something
that isn’t the same color as it then you lose.
It’s a simple concept but it’s hard to keep the ball floating in the middle of the
circle or between two obstacles without letting it touch the wrong color.
For an equally addicting game but a less colorful one check out
Contre Jour which is a physics based puzzle game.
Use your mouse to mold the ground in a way that gets this little one-eyed monster to
the glowing blue blob.
It’s adorable and also tricky when you have to transport it in new ways.
Like trying to catch it on this tentacle thing at the right time.
Okay enough swinging blobs time for
Cycleblob.
Which is BLOBviously an awesome game.
Hannah really crushing her pun game.
Okay stop laughing.
You have to avoid colliding with your own wall or the opponents wall.
Sometimes as you pass by them you can see them ruining their own chances at victory
and it’s hilarious. Oh look at that
I WON!
Wow.
Wowee wow wow wow.
Okay that was a whole bushel of DONGs.
Links to all of them are down in the description.
There’s a playlist here for more DONGs.
If this was your first DONG, welcome.
Hi.
Hi there.
What is your name?
Oh that’s a beautiful name.
I like that a lot.
Where are you from?
Oh what a lovely place.
I have heard that it is wonderful.
I have always wanted to go.
But I have yet to travel there.
Maybe when I’m there we can go on a journey together.
Explore.
Really?
I would love to go there.
You know I love tacos.
So that sounds fantastic.
Thank you so much.
Where were we?
Oh yeah.
And as always, thanks for watching.
There are many more DONGs for you to explore.
For you to experience For you to set your browser to and just sit back and relax and
DONG out.
That’s what I like to do on a nice what is today?
On a nice Friday night.
Just sit on the couch.
Throws some DONGs on the screen.
Enjoy.