Hello everybody! My name is Markiplier, and welcome to (bad french accent) the Maître D'
I know that's bad... *laughs* I know that's wrong...
And I've ashamed all my French fans...
Uhh but I have a perpetual quest to mispronounciate everything that I say, so here we go!
This game I saw on Itch.io
Um, it may seem like just a normal platformer, buuut, you're gonna that see it's just a little bit bizarre
compared to everything that you've seen before in just a second
*imitates game--badly* Magnifique!
So the game, um, where- you- *Game Lady: "Oh, I say!"* Oh, I say. Thank you very much!
Well, this is only- this is only part of the madness that you are about to see
and then I'm gonna go to the exit, but, where it gets really bizarre, is what I imagine it's gonna show me in the next one
Unless there's something else to it
Ooooh, welcome to the restaurant *french laugh*
(British accent) Yes, allow me to show you to your seat
and your weird Mario block table, don't mind it at all.
Hello Sir, hello, welcome
Merci ber-beaucoup...merci bacquah
Ahhh, baguette un eiffel tower oh errr
Use the arrow keys to extend. Okay, this is where things go a little awry
*screams* OH GOD! AH! IT HURTS! AHH! AHH~HH!! Ugh!
And somehow getting your torso through the door is enough to consider it the end of the game.
Press Q or E to contract, you know, like a normal Maître D' would.
AH, UH, EHWOH, *COUGHING NOISE*. How do I, OH, Whoaoh, Ohohoh, Ohohoooh, Oooh
*crying noise* It just looks so horribly painful but he looks so bored *laughs*
Feels nice, I'm sure *horrible french laugh*
Lotion keeps your skin supple *trying to hold back laughter* and stretchy.
Gotta jump and retract, yeah, that's it. Hup, ooh, uggh, ohhh god why *yet another crying noise*
Eh, lemme just hang here by my neck for a second.
DON'T MIND ME EVERYBODY, YOU CARRY ON WITH YOUR DINNER. I'M HAVING A WONDERFUL TIME JUST RESTING UP ON THIS LEDGE. Ow.
*Adorable Markimoo giggles* Oh my god, it's so silly.
*Bad French accent* Hmmm, exquisite. Ohh, lotion keeps your skin soft and supple.
It also sounds alot like farts, but we French, are too polite for farts.
*Regular voice* I-I'm doin' the horri-worst french accent anybody's ever heard
Yeah
Eh, oh, eh, eyh, uh, ey, uh, *bad french accent* HELLO SIR! CAN I SHOW YOU TO YOUR TAB-LEH
EHH! Aw shit, eh, oh. Well, it is a predicamon.
*Regular voice* Maybe if I...whoops...maybe if I just rest here, I gotta think about this
Gotta let the blood flow to my brain so that I know what I'm gonna be able to do...huh...
Lemme think about it
Okay, so, I gotta grab him, eh, like this, yah that's how you do. *Yet another bad french laugh*
*Bad French Accent* Magnifique
*Regular voice* Ahh, uuuhhhh, thank you.
Good thing I got so much lotion lying around, NOTHING QUESTIONABLE ABOUT THAT!
No weirdness happening here. Ehh, ugh good.
Huhh *bad French laugh & French accent* I missed...hyup
Huh, bon-bon oui
Eh, eh, ehh, Ehh, EHH, EH.
GOT IT! *Pretentious French laugh*
*Regular voice* Is this what all the French people do in their spare time?
I need some input from my French fans, because I'm a little scared at the implications of what this means for French culture
HUH
DON'T WORRY MA'AM, I'LL BE WITH YOU IN JUST MOMENT!
Cause I gotta get everything else in order in my life, HABUP
(Game Lady: "ooh, I say!")
*Weak, but still bad, French accent* Ooooh, I say, hmm
*Regular voice* This is messing with my brain, because number one: This shouldn't be a skill that humans have
He sold his soul to be able to be the greatest waiter in the world. Just like Spongebob, he dumped
everything, except this time he dumped all parts of his soul.
Oh shit, uhh shit, eh, ugn.
*Bad French Accent* Jevoun whatever, screw you. I don't know what you called me, but I'm very upset.
Ye, yeah, I don't know how that worked. Ah shit, HUP, there we go. The-uh, ugh, there we go
You'd think that these human beings with normal, non stretchy skin, would have the sense, and wherewithal, to just be able to go to their freaking tables
Why do they gotta get Metamorphing Jones over here instead of their own dumb asses? HUP
Nope, ehh *Bad French Accent* Excuse me sir, ah fuck, I have fucked up
*Regular voice* Eh, there we go. *Various waiter noises* There we go. AH, YOU'RE WELCOME, THANK YOU.
I AM *starts choking on a hairball*
It's a little bizarre that the waiter, before being seated at your weirdly spaced out table
that isn't anywhere in the restaurant where you would actually eat food
that you have to wait for your waiter to run around the restaurant and collect lotion
Just seems a little questionable, I mean, I'm not one to question a lot of things in life, in fact, I live a very abnormal life
so I don't know, I mean not this abnormal, I'm not stretching myself out with lotion every night.
Shut up.
Ah, hang on! Lemme stuff my face in here! You asshole *laughs* let me go in! Alright, fine, I'll seat you sir
Hyup, awwhaw, *Bad French accent* I fit like a glove.
*Regular voice* Even me, knowing what I know and doing the things that I've done, know that that's just a
little bizarre.
Oh! They-they scoot up on your butt, that's awfully convenient.
I don't need all this lotion, I just wanted it to be able to create the best shape possible.
*Bad French Accent* Shit. Hello, Hai, yeh, eh *laughs* Hello sir, maybe I take your order?
Excuse me, sir, may I take your order, please?
Pretteh pretteh please, may I take your order huh?
Bon oui uhn merci uhn très bien. HUH? (all of your French fans hate you right now)
UH. SACREBLEU!!!!
SIR, SIR, SIR, SIR, I DO BELIEVE YOU'RE BEING RUDE. I'M GON TO HAVE TO ASK YU TO VACATE THE PREMISES.
ALRIGHT, HAVE A GOOD DAY. GOOD BYE. UGCH.
*Regular voice* Okay, I think that's all I'm gonna play of this game, you kinda get the basic concept of this.
Umm, but this game is free, you can play it for yourself, uhh, there's a link down in the description below,
Have a ton of fun with it because it's a totally ridiculous concept, and then maybe you can practice your French to be better than I am.
So uh, today I'm gonna be playing some VIVE games and then getting those out the door. If you want to give me suggestions,
please give them to me now because I will actually be able to read them and find out what you want to see more of on the Vive-veve-whatever it's called.
So thank you, everybody, so much for watching, and as always, I will see you, in the next video! Bye bye!
*Crazy La Paint Outro*
Ahh, hi Betsy. Sorry about everything I said! Please don't murder me in my sleep!
HEY! AWWWW SH-I'M DEAD I'M DEAD I'MDEADI'MDEADI'MDEADI'MDEAD I'M DEAD!!
OH I'M DEAD!! OH SHIIIT!