Oh you were too good for him, come on he doesn't
deserve you. Have you ever said this to anyone? Well then you need to watch out because is
one of those very offensive phrases which you might think is absolutely okay but when
you say it someone on their face, they might get really hurt. And you must be thinking
why is that so? Why would anyone get hurt with this phrase, you were too good for him.
What’s wrong with it? Do you wanna know what's wrong with it? Then you need to watch
this session ahead. You’re watching me on Skillopedia, the place to learn skills for
the real world. My name is Michelle and today I have brought for you some phrases that smart
people never say.
So let's start with the first one, you were too good for him. When do we use this phrase?
We usually use this with a girl who has recently broken up with her boyfriend or a guy who
has recently broken up with his girlfriend. So it may seem as a great phrase to console
someone and tell them that you were way too good and that person doesn't deserve you.
But what you're actually doing here is, you're telling that person, your taste is too bad
and you can't see the real side of people. Or maybe you're trying to tell someone, what
a guy you chose and wasted so much time on him! So while you might be actually trying
to help someone and encourage someone, you would actually be insulting them. so if you
don't want to make the person listening to you feel worse about themselves, then you
should tell them, he's lost a lot or she's lost a lot. This is much more considerate
and seriously consoling in nature and it makes the person feel that they are too precious
to lose. So use the alternative phrase instead of saying, you were too good for him.
You look great for your age. While this may seem like a very good compliment and a good
way to impress somebody but what you really mean is, compared to other people older than
you or of your age, you look kinda okay. That’s what you're really trying to say. So if you've
heard someone use this phrase and you thought you can also use this, then you need to kick
this phrase right now. Because it does not leave a good impact on the listener. And if
you actually want to compliment someone, then instead of being so sarcastic, you could say,
wow you look stunning. This is genuine and a real compliment and does not include any
sort of comparisons. So yes please dont use you look great for your age because that can
sound offensive to people.
I keep trying but all in vain. Only a ten year old child can say this because they don't
know how to do something. But an adult cannot really say this. That you are trying and trying
but you're efforts are going waste. This means that there are two possibilities. First, you've
got the wrong tactics or your aims are too high. So now you know what the problem is
and you need to correct it for yourself. And the same way, you need to use the correct
statement to describe your problem to your supervisor. Instead of saying, I am trying
but it's going in vain, you could say, I'm trying as hard as I can. This shows that you
are seriously trying something and you need the aims to be changed or you need to be explained
how you need to do the task. So don't put more efforts in vain by saying, I keep trying
but all in vain.
I did it all by myself. well this is an extremely selfish statement and you are trying to take
all your credit for all your achievements which is not at all correct because surely
your parents, your friends and your boss have contributed enough to your success and it
would be wrong to say, I did it all by myself. Especially if you're asked to describe one
of your achievements in an interview. so if you need to describe an achievement, especially
in an interview, you might want to use this phrase and it's better to replace it with
something like this, I have come so far, thanks to all my parents and all those I love. You
could also use this phrase in a public speech.
It's not fair. Well we all know that a lot of things around us are not fair and life
itself is not fair. But you have to deal with it, right? you can't just keep complaining
and specially if you're at your workplace, it's ethically not correct to say, it's not
fair because you sound so much like a cry baby when you say that and this would affect
your overall personality at work and you would come out more as a person who complains about
little things like a child. So get rid of this phrase and replace it with something
more appropriate. For instance, if you're boss made an unfair decision, you could politely
ask, what led to this decision? May I ask why it wasn’t me that you chose? So kick
the phrase life isn't fair and use this phrase.
Maybe what I'm about to say is stupid but...well this is a very stupid way to talk about anything.
Please don't start your conversation with this phrase. These words are the worst way
to start talking about a matter especially about an important matter, if you're at work.
Because it immediately makes someone feel that you're not confident about what you're
saying and you're just blabbering or speaking for the sake of speaking. So if you don't
wanna come out as stupid, then come out as smart and you could rather use the phrase,
I'm not entirely sure of this and I would like to hear your opinions. So use this phrase
instead of the first option.
I told you so, this is almost like saying, I already told you that this won't work but
you still did it. So if you want to blame someone, you use this phrase. Because this
phrase only points at someone's mistakes and it's surely not forgiving and encouraging
in nature. So I'm sure no one likes to hear, I told you so. So be smart and instead of
that you should say, you won't make this same mistake in the future. This sure to encourage
the listener and to show them that you're giving them another opportunity to not repeat
their mistake.
Ahh! I had the same situation too. It’s surely okay to say this if you're friend has
just returned a pair of shoes to the store because they didn't fit. And you may have
had the same situation too. but if they share a personal issue with you like a financial
problem that they are going through or a family problem that they are going through, please
don't say, I had the same situation too because they wanna tell you what's happening to them
and they are not interested in hearing what happened with you. And your situation may
not be as hard as theirs. So it's better to say, many people have been through this, I'm
sure you'll cope with it.
You’re making a problem out of nothing. This phrase is hugely discouraging. You may
not say this because you can't measure someone's problem. It might seem small to you but it
may be causing them huge stress. So isn't it better to say, soon this trouble won't
be so bad as it seems now, you'll be fine. So try to use this phrase more and you will
definitely come out as smarter.
You don't love me. This seems great to say specially after a fight with your spouse and
you might want to say, you don't love me at all. But do you know this phrase can backfire
at you? What I mean is, hearing these words for the first time, your partner will do everything
to hear, you love me so much, second time. But when you say, you don't love me again,
they'll ignore them and trust me third time they'll start to wonder if you're right? So
if you don't want them to start wondering, whether you love them or not, it would be
better to say, I miss you instead of saying, you don't love me.
So you're a smart person and that's why you should not use these phrases and instead you
should use these alternative phrases that I've shared with you in this session to sound
smarter and to not hurt the people who are listening to you. So use these phrases and
let me know if they worked for you in the comments. Thank you for watching this session
with me on Skillopedia, the place to learn skills for the real world. I'm gonna see you
guys very soon, bye.