More importantly,
what that means for your relationship, and
the signs that maybe you should be looking for
to see if your relationship is going to make it or not,
then, stay tuned because I'm going to be
sharing all of that with you, right here, coming up.
Hi, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I'm an attorney, an author and a narcissist, negotiation expert.
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Let's talk about Bill Gates.
I actually saw an article on this and
it was making me think about signs
that their marriage wasn’t going to make it,
but more importantly,
what are the signs that you need to be looking for
that maybe your own relationship may not make it.
So, a lot of the things that happen with them
are good signs for you to check out and
take a look at as well.
The signs for Bill and Melinda,
He was sort of raised in a somewhat affluent family.
They give him a lot of freedom, and
so he was kind of left alone a lot.
I know they had some kind of access where
he could go, where his mom worked and
actually, he started writing code for computers when
he was pretty young,
but, he did spend a lot of time his own and
apparently her upbringing was much more conventional.
So, sometimes, if you have very different upbringings,
very different ways of looking at the world,
it can make a marriage difficult as well
especially, when you are raising children together.
So, that's number one.
So, apparently he is very unemotional.
He's just not emotionally available a lot of times and
she's actually much more emotional.
Apparently, she admitted during a business insider interview,
in 2019, that they would have these big fights,
intense outbursts by her intense emotion, and
this was probably very overwhelming for him and
they probably had different love languages and
by the way, if you want to know more
about the narcissists love languages,
definitely check out my video on that subject.
But, you know how there's like the love languages
of physical touch and all that sort of thing.
Well, he probably wasn't
providing what she needed and viceversa.
I mean, maybe it was like really hard for him
to deal with her intense emotions as well.
When I first got married, when I was 19 years old,
I remember the priest saying
what God has joined let no man divide or something, and
I remember in all of my 19 year old wisdom
I thought well, if I want to be out of it,
I'll definitely be out of it.
So, when I got remarried to my current husband,
we've now been married 21 years.
It was a very different thing.
I remember standing there thinking, “Oh, this is it,
this is it forever” and you have to really know that
your commitment is something
where you’re both in unison on that,
and you, yourself, are feeling that commitment.
Apparently Bill had trouble with commitment.
He wasn't sure if he could commit, and,
going back to that emotional, unavailability thing, apparently,
he made a whiteboard of pros and cons about marriage.
So romantic.
Not.
He also had this relationship with this other woman,
at least on going for a long time throughout
the marriage and things are coming out now
that apparently, he cheated a lot
but, there's also this one woman,
sort of his version of Camila, if you know what I mean.
Anyway, you can check out my video on this topic,
on Bill, and “Did he cheat?” and
does that even matter in divorce.
So, that brings me to more signs that
your relationship may not make it.
I call them the 3 deadly sins of marriage.
If you have any one of those three
or even a combination thereof,
hmm, maybe not such a good sign, because
it attacks the integrity of the foundation of the marriage and
it just comes down to integrity,
integrity on how you even started the marriage as well,
integrity on your intense in being in the marriage,
integrity of your commitment.
So, abuse, addiction, and adultery,
I do have a video on that subject as well,
if you'd like to check that out.
Going back to what I was saying about different upbringings,
I mean, core values,
meaning religion, how you raise your children,
how to spend money, ways of living,
are you super sloppy and the other person super neat?
You know, viceversa.
Those are the things that sometimes
are really hard to overcome, if you have
very different ways of thinking about
how to parent or, how to spend money,
things like that.
That's number two, and if you agree with me so far,
Where one person's not sharing about how they feel about life,
how they feel about anything.
Maybe they're not sharing passwords,
they're not sharing finances,
they're living a very independent life.
They're not wanting to be part of a couple and,
being part of a marriage.
That's not a good sign.
I mean, a lack of commitment to hearing
what your spouse wants, to being there for them,
to sharing things, to listening to each other,
to being best friends, to giving.
If you're not feeling like you are being honored,
valued, and respected in that relationship,
your soul knows that, and eventually
you're just not going to be able to live that way any longer.
Eventually, you're going to have to be able to breathe,
even a caged bird sings, remember that?
Anyway, love to know in the comments what you guys think,
if there's anything that you would add.
If you like this video,
make sure you like it, and share it.
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I'm so glad that you stopped by today.
Always remember,
today is a great day to start negotiating your best life.
Today, right now, start right now.
I will see you in the next video.