big story in the news these days is the
coronavirus yeah not that's a
knee-slapper I know I like to start
light and then move on later yeah now
this is the latest health officials are
now saying the corona virus may cause
millions of people around the world to
have to self quarantine at home yes yes
in response pornhub said we are ready we
are ready we're here for you yeah
because there there's nothing like
masturbating with flu-like symptoms just
pointing out the flaw of logic that is
not the point of pornography anyway we
needed it's really I thought it was to
meet a potential loved one all right
here we go
big democratic debate tonight we tape a
little early so it hasn't happened yet
yep yeah I mentioned that in case anyone
at home is watching and saying would it
would happen you know we don't know
right we tape this show as much as six
months early I don't know who won the
last election we don't know yet no it's
just a couple hours before but political
analysts say that during tonight's
debate the other candidates are gonna
try and bring down Bernie Sanders yeah
yeah they plan on confusing Bernie by
asking him his iTunes password
get confused and then fall over this is
very strange but it's true follow me on
this it's come out that in 1972 Bernie
Sanders wrote an essay in which he
stated that if women have too many
orgasms they can get cancer
yeah and then to make things worse today
Bernie's wife said trust me I'm a
hundred percent cancer-free
I have simplified my birdie impression
it's just this now no I don't even speak
it's just his shoulders are up here and
his hands are there that's all you got
to do