Put your hand in front of your mouth, you may have done this before, but
let's do it again.
Put your hand in front of your mouth like your ready to eat,
close your eyes and imagine you have a big, fat, juicy, gorgeous
lemon in your hand, I want you to breath in that gorgeous,
gorgeous lemon smell.
I want you to squish that lemon and feel the waxy surface.
Open your mouth, still with your eyes closed,
shove that lemon in your mouth and eat it.
I want you to bite the flesh of that lemon,
suck out the flesh, suck out the lemon,
start chewing it, eat that whole entire half of a lemon.
Keep going, keep sucking, chewing and swallowing.
And open your eyes.
And put your hand up if you made saliva.
See here's a question for you, where was the lemon?
Where was it?
People say there wasn't one, oh there was.
There definitely was a lemon, it was in your imagination.
You know there's no lemon.
You go, "what's going on here I know there's no lemon.
Why am I pumping out like that?
What am I doing that for?
I know it's not there!", but your mind believes it.
The mind will believe everything you tell it,
tell it great things!
Cause here's another rule of the mind.
It does not care if what it heard is
right or wrong, good or bad,
true or false, healthy or unhealthy,
it just lets it in.
I want you to close your eyes and I want you to go,
"I'm gonna try to remember these rules of the mind.
I'm gonna try so hard to memorize it.
If only I could memorize that document.
I wish I had a better memory.
I hope I can remember that when I'm working with
my own client, I really hope I can do what she does.
I wish I could do it, I hope to do it and I try to do it.
I really want to do it."
And just focus on how you feel when you use the word "wish"
which is wishy-washy.
I don't like wish.
Wishing says to your mind, "you haven't got a prayer, but you might as
well wish."
Cause wishing just says you're not gonna do that.
No one says, "I wish I could get up in the morning and clean my teeth.
I wish I could pick up that pencil and write a note."
You don't say wish, you go, "I'm doing it."
So when you say to the mind, "I wish I could",
it says, "yeah me too, get over it."
When you say to the mind, "I hope,
I hope I get this right", it goes, "yeah well, keep hoping cause you're
not gonna do that."
When you go, "if only am I..." cause you never managed it before so,
"keep on with your 'if only', why don't you?"
But when you do it differently.
Close your eyes again and go, "I will memorize this.
It's going in, I have a phenomenal memory.
My memory is awesome.
I read things and they empower me and they stick.
I am remembering it all.
I do this, I've got it.
I have a phenomenal memory.
I have incredible powers of recall and assimilation
and I remember everything."
It has a totally different effect!
My therapist said to me, should is sh*t.
I never use that word.
I should, I say I could.
I should go to the gym?
I could go to the gym, but I know it's my fault I'm not making the
effort.
So with young children, just changing one word will change their life.
To give an example, my little girl would go to school
and she'd get to the gate and she'd come back and I'd always say, "what have you remembered?"
Could've said, "what have you forgotten?"
That's only two words.
She goes, "I've remembered my swimming kit.
I've remembered my book.
I've remembered my bag."
I go, "that's fantastic.
You have such a great memory that when you get to the gate you remember
and back you come."
And very quickly she didn't have to come back, because I never said, "what have you forgotten
today?
Oh my god, your mind is like a sieve.
What's wrong with you?
You get to the gate, and I never do that, and you forget.
Why can't you be like me?
I have my little bag by the door.
I've put everything the night before."
I said, "what have you remembered?"
So here's just one word.
What is expected tends to be realised.
When a child is doing something like climbing a tree.
And the mother goes, "you're gonna fall.
You're gonna break your leg.
Oh my god, you're gonna break your ankle."
You can make that happen.
And when you say to the child, "now I know you're climbing the tree.
Look where you're putting your hands.
Look where you're gonna place your feet.
Focus on what you're doing."
That will be realised.
So, in powerful language you can never say,
"you're gonna fall.
You're gonna mess that up.
You're gonna ruin everything.
That's just not going to work out.
You have to say the opposite, "okay.
I've only got 10 minutes to prepare my speech.
I only need 10 minutes!
I've only got 10 minutes to get there?
That's exactly how much time I need.
And if I'm late?
I wasn't supposed to be there on time."
I have a belief now when I get to a party late,
I wasn't meant to get there early.
I no longer go, "oh my god, I'm so late, this is gonna be terrible."
In fact, I was recently going in a cab across town to get a train
to work with a football team.
And we got stuck in traffic.
And so I was playing a game with it, "oh my god, I'm gonna miss the train.
This is terrible.
I'm gonna ruin my reputation.
The team are gonna be so upset."
And I felt really sick.
And then I started to say, "the trains run every 20 minutes.
It doesn't matter.
What's 20 minutes?
My material's so great.
They have lots of time.
After all, they finish practising at 3 o'clock."
And it was fine.
So, all the way there I was playing a game and I actually got the train on time,
but they really wouldn't have minded.
But I could've ruined my day, made myself all panicky and sweaty by going,
"oh my god, I haven't got enough time and now it's all ruined."
And it's never ruined.
You can come back from anything.
And then I worked for the client who had cancer and had to go in this MRI scanner.
And every time I saw him, he's like, "I can't, I can't do it.
I can't get in that scanner.
I feel like I'm in my coffin, I feel like it's a premonition of my death
and when I get in the scanner I think, 'well I've got cancer
and I'm gonna die.'
I freak out I press the button, I have to come out."
And they keep saying, "look you've got to..."
I go, "I can't!
I can't even be there for two seconds!"
Which is not true.
"I can't do it for even a second!"
He probably was in there for a few minutes so I said,
"look.
The words you say to yourself in that scanner, 'this is a premonition of my death',
'I feel like I'm in a coffin', 'I feel like I'm suffocating and I can't do
it'.
" That's a blueprint.
And your mind doesn't like those words, so how about these words,
how about saying, "I'm in my bed at home
and I'm just so chilled and I could lie here for hours.
I'm chilled.
I'm relaxed.
I'm blissed out."
You must use words that make a picture.
You can't go, "oh, I'm okay really.
I'm quite good.
I'm not bad.
This is okay."
Cause when I say the words "okay", "not bad", where's the picture?
There's no picture.
It's what I call fluff.
When you say, "I'm chilled.
I'm blissed out.
I'm ecstatic.
I'm just lying here and I could do this for hours.
It's just so cool", the mind goes, "you're right!"
And when you go, "I'm in a coffin and I'm suffocating",
the mind goes, "you're right."
See here's the great thing.
You can choose any words you like.
You can go, "we're all gonna be negative and this half's gonna be positive",
that's your choice.
You know what you can't choose?
What you do to yourself when you say, "I'm an idiot.
I'm a moron.
I'm a retard.
I've got rocks for brains.
Everything goes wrong.
Who would ever like me?
I've got cellulite.
I'm a single parent.
I've got no chance..." blah, blah, blah.
So whatever you want, you must link massive pleasure to what you want.
And you can link pain to what you don't want.
But I don't bother to do that, "let's think of all the pain.
Your book's never published.
You go into your coffin, it's still in a drawer",
you don't have to do that, just focus on the pleasure bit.
"I'm a writer.
It's amazing.
My book is published."
I used to always imagine my book in stores.
I'd imagine going to an airport, see people reading my book.
And when I did, it was like, "wow”, but your mind went, “well, I took
you there because you showed me very clearly what you wanted.
I had that image to take you to.”
Cause what you want, wants you and what you are moving towards is moving
towards you.
Don't move towards fear.
Don't move towards failure.
Don't move towards it going wrong.
Move towards it going right.
The fastest way to change anything is to change the pictures and words.
And it's such an easy thing to do.
I'm terrified?
I'm elated.
I'm useless?
I'm amazing.
I have no memory?
My memory is compelling.
I can't speak to people?
What I have to say is easy, I find it easy to speak to anyone.
Every thought you think and every word you say forms a blueprint
and your mind must work to make that blueprint real.
So when you say, "I can't remember anything.
I'd lose the eyes in the back of my head if they weren't fixed in there.
Cause I just can't remember anything."
Your mind goes, "that's a blueprint, let me take you to it!"
And when you say, "my memory is phenomenal,
in fact I'm like human Google.
When I read an exam, the minute I read the question,
my mind has already gone to work, found the answer
and it stays in my head right through until I write it on the paper.
Then I read the next question, the same thing happens!
As I read the question, Google says, 'here's the answer'."