[upbeat music]
[line trilling]
- Thank you for calling [bleep].
This is Corey, how may I help you?
- Um, I'm interested in working there, and I'm curious--
You know, obviously, I'm-- [laughs]
I'm told I'm very attractive and, um,
is this the kind of thing
where if I have a million followers,
you could sort of, just, you know,
by talking to you, kind of tell you
how hot people say I am, or how does it work?
- Um, so you-- you apply online.
- It's good to know, because, you know,
once I get my hair, you know, like, if I do my hair
and I have my makeup and the whole shebang,
it tends to be, for people, sort of alluring
and sort of like a siren song.
I'm just very, very hot.
- So yeah, we already have type of girls like that.
- Anyone with, like, a million followers?
- Um, yeah, I don't think it really matters.
I think you have to just fill out the paperwork.
- You know, it's the kind of thing
it would be a shame if we didn't get to work together
due to, like, what I'm called, as, like, stunning
and for me, like, it's just sort of a given
that there's different tiers of women
and I'm kind of, I guess, like, people say top shelf.
- Yeah, but you have to apply first.
- But you can't take my word-- I'm telling you, like,
people seriously-- I've had, like--
Today, like, a guy tripped.
He got up, he was like, "You're beautiful! Oh, my God!"
Like, he was like, "Holy shit! You're freakin' beautiful!"
And I'm like, "All right, like, I know.
Thank you, thank you, thank you."
Like, I always say thank you to be nice, but--
I'm just, like, looking for kind of instant results
because--
Do you know what I mean?
I mean, you could talk to my manager if you want.
I mean, if you could put in a word
and say you just talked to one of the hottest people
you've ever heard--you know?
- Okay, yeah. I'll let him know.
- I think I'm a ten, and I've been told I'm a ten.
Like, my comments half the time are literally, "Ten."
Someone even, the other day, I thought was so funny.
They were like, "A thousand out of ten."
[laughs]
- Yeah.
Like, I'm-- Don't make me big-headed.
You know?
- And it's a gift and it's a privilege.
I honestly--you know, my old minister
used to tell me, like, on the one-on-ones,
he was like, "This is something God gave you."
- Yeah.
and some people can do taxes, and, like, I can't.
But I'm so, so hot.
- Yeah, I'll definitely let him know.
- I used to ride horses and I had to stop
'cause the horses were trying to get with me.
- Yeah. Well, if you are interested,
just come in, they'll interview you
and then if they think you're good enough,
then they'll hire you on the spot.
- No paperwork. I love that.
Thank you so much, girl, because that's the thing.
- Yeah.
That's the kind of bitch I am.
Like, I'm not trying to do paperwork!
You know, it's like, come on. What am I, a dork?
- All right, so just come in if you're interested, then.
- I'll see you in two minutes.
- Okay.
- Bye-bye. - [receiver clicks]
[upbeat music]
[line trilling]
- Thank you for calling [bleep].
This is Corey, how may I help you?
- Corey, oh, my gosh. Thank you so much.
I've been trying to reach you because I was
just on my way to come in for the job that you offered me,
and I--there's scaffolding outside my apartment.
I walked out to take my little Pomeranian out,
and this crowbar fell on my face
- Just now?
now I'm, like shaking because I'm ugly.
- I don't think that they would, like,
take that against you.
- Okay, well, I've just lost, like, ten Instagram followers
'cause I posted, like, a live Insta
about what was going on and so I'm just scared
your manager's gonna be like,
"Okay, neck down, yeah, yeah. But, like, face is busted!"
And I don't know, like, I'm bleeding.
And I feel like one of my teeth is in half.
- Yeah, maybe you should go to the hospital first.
- Like, I'm still hot, and, like,
obviously my boobs are fine and my stomach's still flat
and my ass is still, like, you could bounce a quarter off it.
But my face is like a monster.
- Okay.
Once you've been hot this long, it ain't going nowhere, bitch!
- Yeah, bye.
- Thanks for the job. [receiver clicks]
Hey, Insta fam, um, like I said,
I've been hit by some sort of crowbar or scaffolding
or both, like, a combo, I don't even know.
At this point, I'm hurting and you can see this contusion.
I'm freaking out because
I thought you guys were my family.
And I know I'm hot, and you know I'm hot.
So it's not fair.
I'm gonna be hot in a [bleep] month.
So you're gonna be back