>>> OKAY, CLASS, BEFORE WE DIVE INTO THE UNIT REVIEW, I HAVE --
CUE THE GROANS -- RUBRICS FOR MIDTERM EXAMS.
[ GROANS ] >> YEAH, YEAH.
GET IT OUT NOW. ALL RIGHT.
FIRST UP -- >> MR. C, SORRY I'M LATE.
MY DOG ATE MY ALARM CLOCK. HOLD MY BACKPACK, DANBERG.
OH, MR. C., KELLY'S A THIEF. SHE TOOK MY BREATH AWAY.
>> GO AWAY. >> OW.
THAT HURT MY FEELINGS. >> REJECTING ME AGAIN, HUH?
MUST A LESBIAN. HOLD IT.
BRAD, IS THAT A CIGARETTE? LET ME CHECK.
IT IS. SHAME ON YOU.
MR. C., I'LL TAKE CARE OF THIS FOR YOU.
HE'S A JERK. OH, FINKEL STEEN, LET ME HAVE
YOUR YARMULKE. MR. C., I CAN'T DO ANY HOMEWORK
THIS WEEK IT'S ROSH HASHANAH. SO LONG.
OH BOY. WHAT DID YOUR MOM MAKE ME FOR
LUNCH? EGG SALAD.
VERY GOOD. I'LL DO YOU A FAVOR AND THROW
THAT INTO THE TRASH. YO, YO, YO, LITTLE D, NICE --
NICE KICKS. DAMN, GINA.
>> SORRY. BAD TIME TO EMPTY THE TRASH.
>> IT'S THE JANITOR. QUESTION.
IS THE FIRST THING YOUR WIFE SAYS WHEN YOU GET HOME, YOU
SMELL OR YOU SMELL TERRIBLE? I'M KIDDING WITH YOU.
MR. C., THE FOREPLAY IS DONE. WHAT DO YOU SAY WE LEARN A
LITTLE BIT OF ENGLISH LIT? >> SHUT UP AND GET YOUR FEET OFF
THE DESK. >> YES, SIR.
>> YOUNG MAN, IN MY 38 YEARS AS AN EDUCATOR, I HAVE NEVER SEEN
ANYTHING AS MISGUIDED AND BRAZEN AS YOUR BEHAVIOR IN THESE LAST
THREE MINUTES. ESPECIALLY BEING AS YOU ARE NEW
HERE. IT IS YOUR FIRST DAY AT THIS
SCHOOL. [ LAUGHTER ]
NONE OF US HAVE EVER MET YOU. [ LAUGHTER ]
MY NAME, BY THE WAY, IS MR. NYSTROM, NOT MR. C.
AND THEIR NAMES AREN'T WHAT YOU CALLED THEM.
[ LAUGHTER ] FURTHERMORE, THIS IS AN ALGEBRA
II CLASS, NOT ENGLISH LIT. >> I'M SORRY.
I JUST WANTED TO MAKE A SPLASH. >> WELL, IT WAS A BELLY FLOP.
I THINK YOU OWE EVERYBODY HERE AN APOLOGY, STARTING WITH THE
YOUNG LADY THAT YOU DROOLED OVER LIKE A PIG.
>> I'M SORRY, KELLY. >> MY NAME IS JACQUELINE, AND
YOU ARE RIGHT I AM A LESBIAN. IT WAS REALLY HARD FOR ME TO
COME OUT, BUT THINKING ABOUT DATING A GUY LIKE YOU MAKES ME
REALLY GLAD I DID. [ APPLAUSE ]
>> YEAH, YOU GOT TO APPLAUSE THAT.
>> AS FOR ME, YOU DON'T GET TO KNOW MY NAME.
YOUR ENTIRE INTERACTION WITH ME WAS BAD, YOU OPENED WITH YO, YO,
YO, AND CLOSED WITH, DAMN GINA. >> I'M SUPER SORRY, AND I HOPE
YOU CAN FORGIVE ME ONE DAY. >> NAH.
>> AND MY NAME IS AARON, YOU CALLED ME BRAD.
I'M ALLERGIC TO SMOKE AND HAD TO STICK THIS EPIPEN IN MY LEG
AFTER OUR INTERACTION. THANK YOU FOR THAT.
>> I'M SORRY, GUYS. I'M REALLY SORRY.
>> NO, YOU ARE NOT. AND FOR FUTURE REFERENCE MY NAME
IS RANDY GOODMAN NOT FINKELSTEIN.
AND PLEASE NEVER USE MY YARMULKE FOR YOUR PROP COMEDY EVER AGAIN.
>> I'M ALSO SORRY AT WHOEVER'S LUNCH I DUNKED IN THE TRASH.
>> OH, NO WORRIES MAN. IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVE A STOMACH
ISSUE AND EVERYTHING IN THAT LUNCH WAS CAREFULLY PICKED OUT
BY A DIETICIAN. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
KILLER JOKE. >> AND THAT LEAVES ME.
[ LAUGHTER ] I'M SORRY MY WORK ISN'T UP TO
YOUR STANDARDS AND IF YOU WANT TO LET MY WIFE HOW BAD I SMELL,
SHE'S EASY -- SHE'S EASY TO FIND.
PLOT 199-J AT THE NEW HAVEN CEMETERY.
>> WELL YOUNG MAN TODAY WAS NOT YOUR DAY BUT PERHAPS YOU WILL BE
ABLE TO MOVE PAST IT SOCIALLY. NOW WHAT IS YOUR NAME?
>> BRODY CHOAD. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> NOPE. NEVER MIND.
YOU'RE DOOMED. >> OH, YOU STARTED WITHOUT ME?
>> OH, MR. LYNCH HOW NICE OF YOU TO JOIN US.
>> YEAH, I'M SORRY, MR. NYSTROM I LOST TRACK OF TIME WHEN I WAS
WRITING IN MY DIARY ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS CLASS.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> YOU SEE MR. CHOAD, THAT'S HOW
IT'S DONE. [ APPLAUSE ]