>> Stephen: MY NEXT GUEST IS A VERY FUNNY COMEDIAN WHOSE NEW
SPECIAL IS CALLED "HAPPY TO BE HERE."
WE'RE HAPPY TO HAVE HER.
PLEASE WELCOME, TIG NOTARO!
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: WELCOME, WELCOME.
>> THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
UN, I ALWAYS MEAN TO TELL YOU THIS WHEN I COME HERE, BUT THIS
THEATER HAS SUCH A GREAT VIBE.
( CHEERS ) I KNOW.
IT'S -- >> Stephen: WELL, THANKS,
THANKS.
>> NO, THANK YOU.
IT'S LIKE A ROOMFUL OF PLEASANT SUBSPACE PARTICLES
WRAPPED IN A TACHYON FIELD OF GOOD VIBES.
>> Stephen: THAT'S-- THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
>> I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M SAYING ON THAT SHOW?
>> Stephen: PEOPLE MAY NOT KNOW THIS, YOU ARE ACTUALLY A
CAST MEMBER OF THE NEW SEASON OF "STAR TREK DISCOVERY."
>> ALL JOKING ASIDE, ALL JOKING ASIDE --
>> Stephen: I LOVE-- THERE'S NOTHING I LOVE MORE WHEN I HEAR
A COMEDIAN SAY, "ALL JOKING ASIDE."
THEN I GO, "NOW IT'S GOING TO GET GOOD."
>> NO, I SAY THAT BEFORE I SAY ANYTHING.
I'M THAT KIND OF COMEDIAN.
>> Stephen: UH-HUH...
>> YEAH.
A LOT OF TIMES PEOPLE HAVE A HARD TIME RECOGNIZING MY COMEDY,
AND THAT'S FINE.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: HOW DID YOU-- WERE
YOU ALWAYS A "STAR TREK" FAN?
HOW DID ONE GET A PART?
BECAUSE I'M JEALOUS.
I WOULD LOVE TO BE ON "STAR TREK."
>> YOU SHOULD COME WITH ME.
>> Stephen: BUT I HAVE--
I'LL DO IT!
I'VE GOT THIS GIG.
HOW DID YOU GET THIS GIG?
WERE YOU ALWAYS A FAN?
>> WELL, YOU DON'T JUST GET GIGS BECAUSE YOU'RE A FAN.
>> Stephen: HOW ABOUT-- >> IT'S LIKE, "OH, SHE'S A FAN?
LET'S GIVE HER A RING-A-DING."
>> Stephen: BUT YOU MIGHT TRY FOR THE GIG IF YOU'RE A FAN.
>> NO, I DIDN'T TRY, I JUST-- THEY JUST ASKED IFIMENTED TO DO
IT.
>> Stephen: THEY THOUGHT YOU WOULD FIT INTO THE "STAR TREK"
UNIVERSE.
ARE YOU A HUMAN?
>> I AM A HUMAN, YES.
I'M A COMMANDER.
>> Stephen: OH!
COMMANDER...?
>> JET RENO.
EXPWHAND I ACTUALLY GOT TO NAME BECAUSE BASIS I WAS LIKE, "OH,
THERE ARE JETS AND STUFF."
>> Stephen: IS THAT IN HONOR OF JANET RENO?
>> YEAH.
SURE.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE LYING?
>> I AM.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE A LIAR.
>> I AM LYING, ALL JOKING ASIDE.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: IF YOU-- IF YOU-- IF YOU HAVE TROUBLE SAYING THAT
LITTLE MONOLOGUE YOU DID, WHERE YOU DIDN'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING
YOU WERE SAYING, HOW DO YOU THE LINES?
BECAUSE IT'S ALL THAT, RIGHT?
>> >> DON'T.
IT'S SO EMBARRASSING.
THERE'S NO-- I CAN'T EVEN PICTURE WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT,
YOU KNOW.
WHEN I'M LEARNING LINES IN OTHER SHOWS OR MOVIES OR SOMETHING, I
CAN KIND OF VISUALIZE WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
ON "STAR TREK" I'M JUST LIKE, "OKAY, I HAVE TO JUST REMEMBER
THESE WORDS."
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: IT'S JUST SOUND JAZZ.
MOUTH JAZZ WITH TIG NOTARO, IN SPACE!
>> YEAH YOU.
>> Stephen: HAVE A COOL OUTFIT OR ANYTHING?
>> WELL, YEAH.
>> Stephen: OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT?
>> IT'S A "STAR TREK" UNIFORM, SO IT'S COOL.
I WAS JUST IN MISSISSIPPI VISITING MY COUSIN, AND I TOLD
HIM I WAS ON "STAR TREK" THIS, NEW SEASON, AND HE WAS LIKE,
"OH, WOW, TIG.
YOU KNOW YOU'VE MADE IT WHEN YOU'RE IN OUTER SPACE."
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: I FEEL THE SAME
WAY, THOUGH.
BECAUSE I'M A SCIENCE FICTION JUNKY, I TOTALLY FEEL THE SAME
WAY.
I WOULD REALLY-- COULD WE DO OUR SHOW FROM SPACE?
NO.
CALL ELON MUSK.
YOU ALSO-- YOU JUST WROTE A MOVIE WITH YOUR WIFE, STEPHANIE
ABOUT A FEMALE PRESIDENT.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: WHO IS PLAYED BY JENNIFER ANISTON.
>> THAT'S GLECT EXPH CORRECT.
>> Stephen: AND YOU ARE THE FIRST LADY.
DID YOU MODEL YOURSELF ON ANYBODY.
MELANIA, BILL?
>> BILL WAS NEVER THE FIRST.
>> Stephen: NO, BUT HE WAS GOING TO BE THE FIRST LADY'S MAN
IF SHE EVER GOT IN, OR THE FIRST GENT.
THAT WAS THE IDEA.
>> NO, I'M DOING MY OWN THING.
AND YOU KNOW IT, SPEAK OF BILL, AND THEN NOT TO SPEAK ABOUT
BILL.
I JUST WANT TO SAY ABOUT MONICA LEWINSKY.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
>> I KNOW HER-- NOT WELL-- BUT I WANT TO REMIND PEOPLE THAT TO
GET A JOB AT A YOUNG AGE AS AN INTERN IN THE WHITE HOUSE YOU
HAVE TO BE AN EXCEPTIONAL HUMAN BEING.
AND SHE IS.
AND I JUST WANT TO REMIND PEOPLE OF THAT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THAT'S ALL I WANT TO SAY.
>> Stephen: THAT'S NICE.
>> AND I WANT TO GET BACK TO MY FRIEND JEN ANISTON.
>> Stephen: ALSO AN EXCEPTIONAL PERSON.
>> SHE'S GOING TO BE THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.
>> Stephen: IS SHE A FRIEND?
DID YOU WRITE THIS WITH HER IN MIND?
>> SHE IS A FRIEND.
I HAVE TO SAY THAT ON NATIONAL TELEVISION.
SHE'S ABSOLUTELY A FRIEND.
VERY GOOD FRIEND.
( LAUGHTER ) WE TEXT.
>> Stephen: OH, YOU DO.
>> ACTUALLY.
>> Stephen: OH, THAT'S A SURE SIGN.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: YEAH, YEAH.
EITHER YOUR FRIEND OR DRUG DEALER.
>> I WAS ACTUALLY SURPRISED BECAUSE SHE'S SUCH A KIND OF
CHILL PERSON, AND HER TEXTS ARE, LIKE, BIG RAINBOWS AND SPARKLES
AND BANG-BANG POPS.
>> Stephen: THE BALLOONS DROPPING, THE CONFETTI AND ALL
THAT.
>> I WAS LIKE, "WHOA!
DIDN'T SEE THIS COMING."
>> Stephen: THE TEXT YOU WOULD GET FROM YOUR MOTHER.
>> YEAH.
IF SHE WERE ALIVE.
>> Audience: OOOH.
>> Stephen: WELL, THAT'S ALL WE HAVE TIME FOR, TIG.
>> Stephen: OKAY, YOU HAVE AN UPCOMING MOVIE.
YOU'VE GOT THE-- YOU'VE GOT THE SPECIAL ON NETFLIX, "HAPPY TO BE
HERE."
>> "HAPPY TO BE HERE."
>> Stephen: ARE YOU HAPPY TO BE HERE?
>> I'M THRILLED.
>> Stephen: BECAUSE YOU PLAY YOUR HAPPY CARDS PRETTY CLOSE TO
YOUR CHEST.
>> YUP, I DO.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> UH-HUH.
>> Stephen: OH, YOU SMILED.
>> I-- I AM.
IT'S-- YOU KNOW, MY SPECIAL "HAPPY TO BE HERE," I SEE IT AS,
LIKE, THE THIRD PIECE TO A TRILOGY.
I HAD AN ALBUM CALLED "LIVE," THEY PUT OUT WHEN I HAD CANCER.
I HAD A FOLLOW-UP ALBUM CALLED "BOYISH GIRL INTERRUPTED," WHERE
I WAS KIND OF CRAWLING OUT OF EVERYTHING THAT I WAS GOING
THROUGH.
AND THEN THIS SPECIAL IS JUST MY PERSONAL JOY OF HAPPY TO BE ON
THIS PLANET AND HAPPY TO BE DOING COMEDY, AND I AM-- I AM A
HAPPY PERSON.
>> Stephen: GOOD, GOOD.
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: "HAPPY TO BE HERE"
IS ON NETFLIX NOW.
TIG NOTARO, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.