hey everyone loves in the kind of TV
with me your friendly neighborhood
Natasha today's video was not planned we
actually had a different kind of video
idea lined up for today but I just
wanted to create a video to extend my
thanks to everyone who voted for me for
fans choice for the Canadian Screen
Awards
it is completely unreal I feel like I'm
living in a dream I have not had any
time to process what happened at all
you'll be watching this video on
Wednesday but today is actually Monday
so yeah because it is a it was a fan
award I just wanted to answer some of
your questions and and thought about it
a little bit and and I laughs I just I
don't even know how to thank you
I really wish that my screen printer at
least famine was here but she was really
busy today unfortunately but hello at
least if you're watching thank you so
much for attending the wards with me as
well it would have been completely
different without you by my side and I'm
so glad that you were there with me I've
had this in my speech but I really want
to thank Yannick and Helen and
congratulate them I recently was able to
work with them on Murdoch mysteries and
they're such seasoned pros and so lovely
so it was really an honor to be in their
presence in their company I also want to
give a quick shout out to our director
Spencer maybe because he doesn't get
nearly enough hour condition a lot of
the reason why was cast as carmilla's
because he really pushed for me to play
that role and he really believed in me
so thank you so much censor for being
like my big brother and my rock while
I'm on set I love you so much and I so
appreciate your support to me winning
the fan Choice Award is not about me at
all to me this is a really big win for
the LGBTQ I a plus and sorry if I left
anybody out community for my community
winning this award is huge I think it's
a huge step I think it's a huge step not
only for this community but also for the
digital world
I think it's proving that digital is
really changing the way that we consume
and tell our stories I think that
giving a voice to those who need it the
most who traditionally do not have a
voice on traditional television this is
a total dream I haven't had a chance to
celebrate mine with Mia
what sounds like really crazy and funny
but I just like I haven't I haven't had
a chance yet I don't I got talking to
you is a form of celebration and reading
all of your comments and please I'm
still not entirely convinced that all of
my votes and just come from my mom
making also sounds like voting for me
thousand times a day
it's totally surreal but I was really
lucky that I got to do a fan event last
weekend in Las Vegas at collects pecan
and getting to see everybody's faces in
person made it so real and getting to
hear everyone's stories made it so real
and it's just so meaningful to me and so
so very special I chose to bring Elise
as my date because there's no one else I
would have wanted to be there I mean she
deserves to be there just as much as
anybody else I knew that she'd never
been 15 screen award show before and I
knew that she would get to be in the
same room as some of her heroes and I
just think that she worked so incredibly
hard on set and is such a wonderful
actor and person and I know that I
wouldn't be Carmilla if it wasn't for
our chemistry so I do owe a lot of this
to her as well and and she was she was
really lovely and supportive I think
it's really cool when women can lift
each other up in this difficult industry
I hope so
all I can do is continue to to be a
voice and to speak my mind and be a
voice for those two who aren't able to
speak up all the time and yeah I hope so
the first thing I just did is just like
a lease and I just sat down in the
bathroom together we were both like in
separate cells just like the Haunted
toilets being like whoo wow what just
happened
and that was the first thing I did was
just like sit on a toilet and talk to my
friend I was actually offered a number
of incredible dresses from Canadian
designers and they were so so lovely but
something I really struggle with is that
they don't often fit my body type I'm
quite hippie for a small girl and
ultimately I was feeling a little bit
insecure it was they were a little loose
on the top area and and I just thought
oh Fawcett I don't know that I wanted
like wear something I'm not comfortable
in and I don't really feel like is me
and so my mom just completely redesigned
this vintage piece that I had bought and
I gave to her and she like cut it up and
redesigned it and made it on the fly and
and I wasn't even in the room when she
sewed it and then I came home and it was
hanging up and it fit me like a glove
and I thought this is the dress I have
to wear because I think having a little
hug from my mom around my waist will be
a good a good luck charm Wow thank you
so much
I prepared a number of bullet notes just
in case I won but I truly truly did not
expect to win at all so again thank you
in case I haven't said that enough thank
you yeah for the most part it was it was
improvised and really from in here I
didn't really give it a second thought I
just had to say it
and it's 2017 so my family was
definitely watching and my brother wrote
this really sweet post on Facebook
have to call my Baba actually still I
have no idea where do you think I should
keep my award pygmy comment below let me
know
aside from awards in public school I've
never won in the word before I've been
nominated for a number of awards for the
number one one so this one would compare
in that it is the first yeah so I've
talked about my anxiety and depression
before and it's something that I
actually experience more often when I'm
alone and and experiencing negative
thought patterns in my own mind or when
I'm in social situations with people
that I dunno to be honest when I'm on
stage or on camera that is the one place
that I feel the safest and I don't feel
anxious because I think that it's really
what I was born to do and where I belong
and that is why I am such a huge
advocate for finding something either
creative or constructive or positive to
channel your anxiety into so for me it's
acting and hosting and singing and being
an entertainer
that's how I channel my anxiety and for
you might be something different but I
really hope that that you find something
so there are a number of names that I
wanted to lift in my speech but I was
way too nervous to for the most part I
think I said what I need to say though
this award is for you the bands
it is fans choice but of course as I
think
smokebomb Shaftesbury and shift to I
should thank their heads Christina
Jennings Jay Bennett and Karan Whitney
also our Carmilla producers Daphne and
Melanie you are like the best producers
a gal could ever ever ask for
and of course my Tiamat kind of TV Marc
Dylan Peyton Perry for putting up with
me on the daily especially like my
little brother because make me so proud
and really cool like your big sister and
to my best friends what was lift and
grease and my agent Phil I'm a
grandparents and like
so many people I don't know I heard to
lift everyone but I hope that everyone
knows how grateful I am I have no idea I
was holding back tears in case it's not
obvious right now I am still holding
back tears I have not had a chance to
bawl yet but I feel like I'm just going
to explode at some point throughout the
week and it will come at the worst time
I'll probably be like in a public
bathroom er I think so here's the
special picture of him actually thank
you so much everyone for being fans and
for watching this video I feel like I'm
going to explode with tears and
happiness and all those good things also
thank you to the fans that we these
aren't these amazing I hope you liked
this video give it a thumbs up and thank
you for watching
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