hello hello Michelle how's everything good how are you awesome happy to be here on the mic with
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um Lindsay I have a question for you okay yeah um when somebody asks you what are your hobbies
um how do you feel to be honest I feel a little bit of self-judgment and pressure when I get
that question because I immediately think okay let's see what do I do I like to go hiking is
that really a hobby I like to go to breweries and drink beer is that a hobby um you know craft beer
is hot right now it's kind of artisanal but that's drinking alcohol is that you know is that a hobby
is that okay I like to hang out with my dog is that so there's a lot of self-judgment I think
so too there's kind of like a lot I don't know why a hobby is such a nice word nice word things
were fun but for some reason I do think like if somebody asks me what are your hobbies I'm like
right right like I you know I I wouldn't I'm not on like a soccer team like I'm not not you know I
I like to spend time with my family I like to sing and stuff like that but like like I wouldn't say
the I don't know it's a tough thing so I found an article that kind of resonated with this that
I wanted to dive into a little bit today and then we're gonna talk more about language for
talking about hobbies and things like that um I love that let's get into this it's a good one I
you know I felt that before that awkwardness when someone asks about my hobbies but that I've never
really thought through this before and I bet our listeners are excited to think about this too in
the context of what it means for them you know their interests their Hobbies what they do with
their day and their lives yeah yeah exactly so I found an interesting article and this is
from huffpost.com so it's called it's okay not to have hobbies mental health experts break down the
pressure around Hobbies today and offer advice for finding enjoyment outside restrictive definition
so this is kind of also a language thing as well this restrictive definition so this is from
um Caroline bologna yeah if I pronounce it right I'm sorry uh or wrong I'm sorry
um this was from October 20th 2022
um from HuffPost again so let's let's talk about it I mean yeah when you hear the word hobby what
do you think of oh it feels very restrictive it feels simple it kind of feels like a term that
might be going out of style a little bit because I would rather talk about projects interests uh
passions ways I spend my time but Hobbies feels like it needs to fit into a clear box like I play
bridge on Saturdays right that feels like but I don't do that you know and so I like things like
um you know for example meditation attending Dharma talks it's my spiritual life it's important
to me is it a hobby it's not quite a hobby right because it's not you don't do it for enjoyment it
doesn't fall into that box but it's a big part of my life where I might fill that with a traditional
hobby if I didn't do that so that's why it feels weird when someone uses that word Hobbies yeah
so to dissect this word hobby is kind of very interesting and that's part of what we're going
to be doing today I mean yeah I feel like it's pressure to put time in to say put put like to say
that I put a lot of time into something but again I don't I don't know that I have any traditional
Hobbies right now like I feel like I'm just trying to get through the day and and I don't you know
like the stuff I do on the weekend if it's a hobby if it's a not if it's not a hobby I don't know
yeah that's a good point and what about this stuff that you are interested in and passionate about
but you only do we only get to do it sometimes so maybe it wouldn't qualify as like a weekly hobby
but when you get into it you love it like you have an extra bit of energy and you're in that zone of
Genius when you're doing it can you call that a hobby so it gets weird it gets weird right it's
true like yeah for me I would say like singing performing that's right I love that's exactly the
perfect example like from from my life but it's not something that I like have a weekly practice
this for a group by man it almost feels like it's old-fashioned it goes back to another time when
people had more time I guess or maybe for younger kids it could work better than for adults that
have chaotic lives like we do and our listeners do yeah well I mean do you have any traditional
Hobbies like something that you wish you had time for something I wish I had time for not really I
feel pretty satisfied I put a lot of energy into my work I will say that and then the rest of my
energy I just want to be outside you know I think I pretty much do everything I want to
do I've dropped off with my tennis a little bit because earlier in my life so much of my energy
emotional energy and physical was put into tennis competing at the at the uh state level and it was
just a lot so I'm kind of burned out on that but no we were talking about trying pickleball
um but now I'm thinking God I'm so Gen X if I'm gonna go try pickleball now it's such a wave
um yeah well my dad my dad is like the pickleball the pickleball boy right it tends to attract an
older audience I think but not so much anymore now they have a celebrity they had celebrity
pickleball Aubry I know plays pickleball I feel like Aubry has a lot of hobbies she does yes
she does a lot of I think she plays volleyball could you do something with dehydrating fruits
or something maybe it would be to get her take on this episode yeah because I feel like she
she like puts time in her hobbies and I think that's amazing like I wish I could
from her in some ways without Hobbies um but I wonder what she would say about it um yeah but
I wish I had time for like a performance to be more of a hobby or learning languages as well
um so yeah but yeah I mean Lindsay is traveling a hobby is trying new food see that's why I think
the word we have to just abolish the word entirely because it doesn't fit all these beautiful things
and interesting things about us of course we love to travel you like to travel you feel alive you
favor traveling but you don't travel every week necessarily so you couldn't really say it's a
hobby right that's the problem right well let's so the article talks a lot about this kind of
stuff so um I'm gonna get two two quotes from it okay the first one is a lot of times labels like
the word hobby can have the propensity to evoke anxiety in us oh Barry Schwartz a psychotherapist
based in New York City and Charleston South Carolina told uh HuffPost we can Panic or
freeze when we're put on the spot to answer with confidence what we enjoy why can't I think of
anything are my hobbies considered Hobbies am I lacking in some way in their mind oh my gosh
exactly my feet exactly what you're saying yeah exactly like where like it's almost like I you
know I don't know and then does everybody else have these amazing Hobbies um right then there's
another uh quote this is by Meg gitlin she's a psychotherapist Lindsey you want to read this one
here we go so she says I think the traditional concept of a hobby like painting gardening is
great but it's a luxury for most people with ever expanding work days and the demands of day-to-day
living many people do not have the bandwidth to devote time to what's traditionally considered a
hobby yeah I agree with that I think that's part of the issue and I think the other part of the
issue Michelle is that there are all these other things that we love that we're passionate about
that make us come alive that we're talented at that don't fall into that definition so
you feel weird saying them right it's true and another thing that this article mentioned
was how social media can make us like kind of feel pressured to have a hobby right because
um like we have to have a hobby um people tend to think copies are you know maybe something that you
accomplish something that you achieve or maybe even something it talked about like making money
from right like like having an Etsy or something like that right yeah exactly I love it oh man
okay where else do we go here with this this is a great topic and I'm really excited to hear what
our listeners think because I when I was living in Japan I feel like like I encountered this question
a lot from my students this was I think this was in the textbook somewhere in throughout the years
in Japan maybe in other countries in Asia where that was a conversation starter that you were
told to ask but when when we talk about it in this context of society here modern culture it
doesn't quite work yeah yeah I I agree right like I I don't know I think I think that you can have
people can have a lot of things that might be considered Hobbies but they
just might feel funny saying that it's for whatever reason something about that word
um but I don't you know we shouldn't feel nervous when people ask us about our Hobbies
I think you shouldn't feel confident and just be like yeah sure that's a hobby like
just like own it as a hobby like yeah travel is a hobby cooking is a hobby right like if I like
to sometimes cook new things and but is it my official hobby I don't know but sure it's a
hobby like I feel like you know we can say that but there are other ways to talk about it right
um yeah exactly in my in my free time right or in my spare time you could say that yeah
so we're going to give you guys some really great ways because the key is what we want you to come
away with today is that the moment when you're asked this really matters because it's a moment of
connection and you could do two things you could close up and say oh my God what I like to do which
is meditation uh studying Buddhism and drinking beer they don't feel like legitimate Hobbies so
I'm gonna close up and I'm gonna yeah curl up and I'm not going to feel confident I'm not going to
actually get to know this person right yes I I honestly I think you should just say whatever you
like to do exactly so you can rephrase it as we're doing here as we're showing our listeners right
Michelle right so maybe instead of saying hobby you could say in my free time so Lindsay let's
do like a little how what would that look like all right here we go so Michelle what are your hobbies
well in my free time I love to read and try new restaurants ah perfect so you've reframed the
question and then these fit perfectly right trying new restaurants if you say that's a hobby it's a
little strange because again it's too constricting the box of the hobby I love it right right I'm not
in a pickleball league right like that like I feel like that's like a hobby right so yeah and
so and instead of asking what are your hobbies which I think can sound a little bit out of date
I don't know you could say oh what do you what do you do in your free time what do you do in
your down time or what do you do for fun how do you spend your time these are all really great
Alternatives guys so you know write these down as we go through today's episode so you want to
ask me Michelle what do you uh what do you like to do in your free time Lindsay well I love to
just kick back and relax in front of the TV I feel like I'd have a lot of Shame about saying
that too but you know it's also but it's also very human because yeah it is you know that Mom
do that yes and that can something right it's better than saying like oh yeah
yeah hang out right well yeah I would say that's gonna close that conversation oh for sure and also
we've done an episode I wish I had the number right now of that episode actually but we did
an episode on how to connect over TV shows and that will open that go oh what shows do you like
to watch everybody gets into that like again I mean we've talked about this idea before like
I mean I'm sure I've brought this up before but I when I would ask my students like oh what did you
do over the weekend and they would just say like oh nothing just stayed home all right like you
just like shut the door right we're we're missing shut the door Community right guess what I stayed
home for part of the weekend too maybe I cooked spaghetti right like it does like it doesn't
matter I just I I think with this whole thing is just be confident because I think a lot people are
more similar than when they than they realize with the whole hobby thing especially nowadays
right and so bad and be honest like don't feel like you have to come up with something that
feels like a hobby like answer it truthfully like if you love to try new restaurants maybe it's not
a hobby but like oh I love new restaurants last week I just tried this Ethiopian place on the
upper west side right and then what really matters is you're showing your passion that's what builds
connection it's not answering a question perfectly accurately and a lot of these kinds of things
things like oh I like to eat and I like to try new restaurants well
most people like to try new restaurants like I'm from time to time you know exactly
um so I don't think that any I think people can identify with it like you know try your
restaurant some Cook nude things you know like I mean sure if there's something especially unique
that's even more exciting but they still can connect you to others like in in some ways
just like the more human the better the more human the better the more human the better
100 have that confidence to answer Anthony the question in a weird way in a way that's very
you right it's very you I love it right um so yeah and actually I do have an episode we had
episode 567 which was how to talk about the Hobbies you want to start in English
um so that could be another good one to listen to but there we use the expression for uh or yeah
um I can't remember where we used it there or if I just added this as another one but for fun so
like what do you like to do for fun Lindsay oh I love to explore new neighborhoods in my city
right yeah that's another thing when I moved to New York I what I would do for fun I would just
walk the streets of New York and that can you call that a hobby I don't think so traditionally but
I loved it just say something just just do when you're not working right exactly so good Michelle
do we have a role play for our listeners let's do it here we go so we're at a party and we are
meeting for the first time and we're just having a casual conversation all right so what do you
like to do in your free time oh well for fun I love checking out new restaurants in my area oh
awesome have you tried any good ones lately yes I love Cynthia's on Third Street oh I have to
try that one yeah definitely well what about you what do you like to do for fun in my free time I
love checking out new museums awesome yeah so that could potentially lead to a better connection than
if you've searched your mind to find something that felt like a hobby and sort of forced it into
being your hobby right so be authentic um let's go through each of these so what do you think so
I asked you Michelle what do you like to do in your free time great and you said I said for fun
I love checking out new restaurants in my area exactly and then you said uh what about you what
do you like to do for fun okay and you said in my free time I love checking out new museums yeah and
the fact is I just don't think native speakers use the word hobby that much so thank goodness
they don't right but I do think again like I said it's something that you guys might be learning in
your textbooks for whatever reason it's showing up in the textbooks and that's why we don't teach the
textbook we teach you real English so drop it now and use these instead I love it yeah I I agree and
I mean yeah I think the takeaway is don't freeze up when somebody asks you about Hobbies don't feel
like well that doesn't count or oh really all I do is yeah sometimes I like to cook okay well share
that because yeah that's gonna Lead You Yes um I think hobby is a little bit overrated as a word
um and we have to be honest it's hard to work you know men have work your work life manage
your relationships your family and have a hobby it's not always possible to have a specific Hobby
and that's okay that's totally okay let's get rid of the self-judgment and again let's focus
on connection let's use English to connect not to judge ourselves or to ask the wrong question which
puts people in a box right right and forces them to come up with an answer that they don't feel
good about so good good stuff Michelle guys if you love our approach to learning English which
is connection not Perfection then hit follow on this podcast right now hit that follow button
wherever you're listening Spotify Apple podcast Google podcast you gotta hit follow also go over
to YouTube and check it out because we are on YouTube today all right Lindsay thanks
for hanging out and yeah I'll see you soon great stuff Michelle talk to you soon bye
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