Acting as a metaphorical mirror for all those they meet, the INFJ empaths with the incredible
ability to reflect other people’s true colors right back to them.
Oftentimes, against their will INFJs will absorb and project people’s energies providing
valuable feedback that usually is communicated not through spoken words but through energy
and moods.
But, what’s so bad about that?
Welcome or welcome back PSYCH-Os!
Today we’re going to be talking all about the issues INFJ empaths face when mirroring
others.
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Number 1: They act different around different people
INFJs have the ability to get on another person's level like no other personality type because
of their mirroring qualities.
They can get along with all walks of life because the empathic INFJ subconsciously adapts
to the people they meet in order for the other person to feel as comfortable as possible
with them.
This means that when the INFJ gets into conversation with someone whether it be an individual or
an audience, they intuitively sense what the other person wants and expects in a sense.
And so they bend their personalities to connect with different people on the deepest level
possible.
However, to others, this can make it difficult to gauge who the INFJ really is on their own
and have people questioning whether or not their being genuine - when most times they
hardly realize they’re doing it in the first place.
Which bring us to..
Number 2: They seem like they know people more than they do
Because INFJs have this ability to relate to people on the level people want to be related
to, it can give people the feeling like their newly found INFJ understands them more than
anyone ever has.
However, that's not always the case.
Sure, when given the chance INFJs would love to get to know someone to the best of their
abilities, and may end up understanding others in ways they’ve never been understood before.
But, for the most part, INFJs are just using years of observations of human behavior and
mood-absorbing so that they can easily understand why people do things the way they do them.
It’s not that they psychically know the struggles and emotions of ransom strangers
they pass by, but rather it doesn’t take them long to relate people’s energy to people
they’ve met in the past and then proceed to act accordingly.
Number 3: They replace their own energies with other people’s
INFJs are naturally extroverted feelers, meaning they easily pick up on the emotions of things
and people outside of themselves.
In fact, INFJs don’t just pick up on the emotions of others but they absorb it, sometimes
so deeply and without any warning that they take them on as their own emotions.
It sounds complicated unless you’ve been there yourself, but unlike INFPs who have
an introverted feeling function and tend to be highly aware of what they themselves are
feeling, the INFJs have a hard time figuring out which feelings are their own and which
ones belong to others.
Because of this mirroring mechanism, it makes it pretty hard to understand what they actually
feel and the worst part of it all is that it tends to be much easier to absorb the feelings
of those who are discouraged or depressed rather than uplifted and happy.
In fact, internalizing negative feelings of others is one of the most difficult aspects
of the INFJ personality type.
Number 4: They find it difficult to let their true self shine
Without confidence and certainty in your own feelings, some INFJs struggle with always
putting others before themselves.
Whether it be in relationships, parenting, friendships or even the workplace, INFJs don’t
want to be in the spotlight because they’re too busy mirroring the feelings of others
and then calculating how they could make their lives better.
It’s as if taking on the emotions of others makes the INFJ not only unable to realize
their own feelings at times, but even when they are acknowledged they’re pushed to
the back burner.
There is a step in maturity every INFJ must face sooner or later, and that's tuning into
their own needs and desires while redirecting their ambitious energies towards their own
path in life.
Once an INFJ takes control of their mirroring abilities rather than being controlled by
them, everything changes.
Number 5: They get too attached to their partner’s needs
Caring for someone’s needs doesn’t sound like such a bad trait to have in a partner,
however, when there's too much focus on one end of the relationship there's usually neglect
on the other.
And that’s exactly what happens to INFJs when they become too attached to the mood
swings and emotions of their spouse.
They begin to neglect their own needs and then end up getting frustrated at that exact
factor of their relationship at some point down the road.
In fact, if they don’t get frustrated, their partner probably will.
In this romantic dynamic, partners of INFJs can feel like they need to pressure the INFJ
to talk about their feelings, as if they have no idea what they actually want from the connection
personally.
And in the end, INFJs are happiest in connections when they can quiet this extreme care for
another’s feelings in order to make room for them to process their own.
Which results in our next point..
Number 6: They feel lost when they don’t have someone to reflect
Some INFJ empaths get so used to the idea of reflecting other people’s feelings that
they themselves don’t even know where their true personality begins.
​​When an NFJ melts into their environment and soaks up everything in their vicinity,
their own identity gets lost.
They don’t just absorb others’ perspectives, both positive and negative, to project them
outward but also to internalize them inward.
If they’re around specific people for long periods of time such as family, friends, or
in a specific work environment, INFJs can get seriously stuck in mirror mode and temporarily
lose important aspects of who they were before.
And while that doesn’t sound so dangerous, it can certainly make for a level of co-dependency
within the connection.
Plus, once this introspective type begins to notice this quality and starts making changes
accordingly, these surrounding people most likely will think they’re having a mid life
crisis when really they’re just getting back to themselves.
Number 7: They mirror to increase their own comfort
Another main reason why INFJs feel lost when they don’t have someone to reflect off of
is because they use this subconscious tactic not only to make others feel comfortable but
also to ease their own social anxiety.
When INFJs tune into other people’s body language, tone of voice, energy levels and
so on, it’s as if they have cues on how to behave without sticking out like a sore
thumb.
It’s an easy way to turn a stranger into a friend by setting the tone for mutual energy
exchanges.
Plus, since they feed off of others' moods, by reducing someone's discomfort, INFJs ultimately
reduce their own in the process.
The last thing an INFJ wants is to feel scrutinized by someone new, and so by camouflaging themselves
within the already present behaviors allows them to quietly observe the people present.
In addition to that, INFJs like to be known for being good at knowing what people want
to see, need to see and showing exactly that, even if it means they come off as a little
ingenuine.
Number 8: They’ve used it all their lives
The toughest part of it all is that this mirroring function is completely automatic and can’t
necessarily be ignored even if an INFJ tried.
When they’re speaking with someone who’s struggling whether they’re shy, upset, anxious,
or nervous, INFJs immediately mirror in order to be on that person’s level.
They always want to increase people’s comfort within social scenarios and while they can
stop and realize what they're doing in the moment, it’s rarely a conscious decision.
In fact, INFJs not only have practiced this automatic reaction their whole lives but they’ve
also observed the shift in people’s demeanors when they have someone to relate to them on
their level.
And so, it keeps them coming back to this same tactic.
INFJs use their mirroring as a foundation to their social skills, and without it, they
wouldn’t be as understanding and empathetic as they’re known to be.
Alright PSYCH-Os, that’s it for today..
So, can you relate to these personal struggles of INFJ mirroring?
Let us know in the comments down below of a time this gift has affected your life personally!
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