[Music]
A long time ago, I was over at a friend's house for tea.
We were talking about the fact that people's relationship with source or God tends to be distant.
The kind of relationship
that you might have with a President or a King.
But the limit manifestation
has to happen as a result of having
a close relationship with source.
I confessed to my friend this day that I have a very
love-hate relationship with source,
because sometimes I feel like the universe is for me,
and wants what I want, wants me to have what I want,
and other times I feel like
source is totally against me,
is trying to punish me, is wanting me to suffer.
So what my friend suggested is that
I start having open conversations with source itself.
As if I'm talking to a lover or to a spouse,
as if I was in an intimate relationship with God.
It was an interesting idea.
At that particular time, talking out loud to
source or God seemed really weird to me.
When I went home and I realized I'm a writer,
so even if I can't talk it out loud, I can write it.
And so I developed a practice that I still use to this day.
I'm going to share it with you today.
At the most ultimate level,
the level we call source or God, all is one.
All essentially is God, and is indivisible from God.
So the living room table is God,
your mother is God, your dog is God,
the grass growing outside is God, you are God.
Everything is just a different expression of this
one energy which is imbued with consciousness.
We call this one energy source or God.
What does this mean?
It means that you can mentally bypass
the person or the dog or the grass or
the table or your mother
and talk to the God in them.
It's a bit like pretending that the only relationship you
do have and can have is with source or God,
and that this being called source or God
is simply expressing itself to you
in all of these different ways for
the sake of your own awareness and growth.
For example, if you get in a fight with your mother
you can write directly to God about why God
as your mother decided to make you
feel the way that you felt
as a result of that conversation.
To do this exercise I want you to purchase a journal,
and every day I want you to write a letter directly to source or God.
It doesn't matter what name you use.
Use whatever one resonates with you.
You don't have to worry if
you've never had a connection
with source or God before,
never had an interaction, never really felt it.
That's not necessary for this particular exercise.
Be prepared when you write these letters to find out
how you really feel
about God or about source or about the Universe that you live in.
Be prepared for some seriously strong emotions,
especially because we tend to overlay the personality
of our most dominant authority figure in childhood
over the top of our expectation of source or God.
This means if you had a particularity loving and
kind mother, who supported you
and who nurtured you, that's how you will probably see God.
On the other hand if you had one that was against you,
that fought you, that criticized and shamed you,
then you will have that idea about the universe.
Pay attention to how you feel while writing these letters.
This is your time to let yourself really be known to source,
and to let yourself be honest and to be heard.
Remember that source can handle
any and all of your negative emotions,
even hate, revenge, and anger.
Source is not like your parents.
It's not going to punish you for the way you feel,
and it will not hate you for hating it.
These letters can be positive,
they can be negative or they can be both.
One day you might decide to write a love letter
to source or to God.
The next day you might want to write
a letter about how much you hate it.
You might want to write a letter about
all of the things that make you hurt,
why it's done these things to you.
You might want to write a letter asking it questions.
Depends on the day.
This exercise is like prayer on steroids.
Thanks to my clients,
I have two examples of some letters
which I'm going to share with you today.
Dear God, when I was
standing in line today at the grocery store,
you smiled at me as a little boy.
It made me remember that I am taking life
too seriously and that I need to play again.
So I made a decision.
I decided I'm going to take my son
mountain biking this weekend.
I need you as my boss to let me have an extra day off.
I'm going to ask you for that day off tomorrow.
Please say yes, I don't want to be
put into the position again
where I have to choose between making one person mad and another unhappy.
Why do you do that to yourself?
Put yourself as me inbetween two people
who want two different things, so you as me has to choose between them.
I hate this feeling.
It makes me feel like I'm six years old again,
choosing which parent to go with after the divorce.
What decision did you want me to make back then?
Why keep putting me in this situation over and over again?
I don't understand it.
Please help me understand it.
Thank you for becoming the sunset tonight.
I love when you turn into a sunset.
I'm proud of myself because
ever since I started
trying to notice little things in my life that
make me happy,
I'm seeing things like sunsets again,
and life seems more livable.
I hope that you are proud of me too.
I really want you to put
more little things to appreciate my path this week.
I'll be looking for you in them.
Thank you for the little things.
Dear God, why do you hate me?
Why do you want me to hurt so much?
You know what I want.
I want safety and belonging and to feel valued,
so why did you as my husband leave me today?
Why have you as my husband
been ignoring me, shaming me, punishing me,
and making me feel like I'm unlovable for months?
Why did this have to happen?
I do not understand what you want from me.
Leaving me is not loving me.
Why does it have to be the hard way?
Why do you as people have to
find out how to feel love before you get love
or feel rich before you get rich?
Why can't you just help yourself out once in a while
by becoming a man who will love a woman
even if she's never felt love before?
Why are you so unfair?
Sometimes I think you want me to suffer.
What do you like about suffering?
I'm tired of the idea that
suffering leads to enlightenment or happiness
because I don't think it's worth it.
Please stop torturing me.
Stop leaving me through all this people.
Please stay with me instead.
I need your help.
Please help me.
After you write your letter, just remain
open to receiving messages
or signs from the universe around you,
in the world around you.
But beware, if you don't get any of these signs
or you don't recognize them, don't stop the exercise.
Instead what I want you to do,
is to write a letter to source
about why this is not happening for you?
Why are you not getting the signs?
Why is source or God not talking to you?
Next I want you to do little exercise.
After you write the letter,
I want you to take the first line, Dear Source,
and instead put Dear Self
and then everywhere throughout the text,
where you're referring to source or God as you,
put I instead.
To see how a lot of the things
which you are attributing to source,
are things that you yourself are creating.
For example a line that might read
"why are you punishing me?"
is changed to
"why am I punishing me?"
Also this allows you to see how many of the
things that you're crediting to God or source,
are things that you yourself are doing.
That can be quite empowering.
Once you've done this exercise,
exchange dear source or dear God
with dear mom or dear dad.
Try both to see which parent you are overlaying
over the top of your expectations of the universe.
And everywhere in the text where you're writing
"you" as in referring to God,
imagine that you are talking directly to that parent.
And then you might see where some of these
particular wounds are coming from,
where your expectations of the universe are coming from.
This exercise can release trauma that we've been holding for years.
If you don't like writing letters you can
speak or think your messages out to God
as if you are talking to the universe directly.
If anyone of you saw the amazing scene in Forest Gump where lieutenant Dan is screaming at God
from the crow's nest of the ship and the peace he felt after the interaction,
you have a picture of how this can go.
After a time you'll begin to feel like you have a
connection to source everywhere you go, and a secure one.
You'll begin to feel source in everything and everyone.
It may even turn your primary attachment relationship.
You will feel much less alone and your manifestations will be amplified greatly.
You want to work towards a relationship of
trust and closeness and connection with the universe itself.
It will make life seems livable and safe and abundant.
But for some of us this journey to closeness with
source or God will begin
first with us realizing just how hurt, just how angry,
just how disconnected, just how much in pain we are
about our relationship with source or God.
But I want you to remember
that screaming at God or source at the top of your
lungs is still better
than having no relationship with it at all.
So try this exercise out.
Have a good week.
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