- Let's roast! [bell dinging]
- Keith only uses lambskin condoms
because after sex, he enjoys a snack.
[laughter]
- Anna's just jealous because my body is shaped like the eggs
she can no longer produce.
[laughter]
- Keith just thinks I'm old 'cause I'm four years past
his life expectancy.
[laughter] - Wow.
- Look, I don't want to say Anna's desperate for love,
but I did see her standing in front of a Home Depot
wearing a wedding dress.
[laughter]
- Keith told me he has a really big dick,
which makes sense;
the average blue whale penis is eight to ten feet.
[laughter]
- Anna has a long face, buck teeth,
and she once fucked a married man.
What I'm saying is...
♪ She's a horse that caused divorce ♪
♪ With no remorse, of course, of course ♪
- Last joke. Last joke.
- Keith's a fat bisexual,
so you could fuck his neck, his back,
his pussy, and his crack.
[laughter]
- That's absolutely true. I--I go both ways,
just like Anna's shitty tits.
Now... [laughter]
Honestly, I think Anna's just jealous
because my parents get to watch the battle on TV,
and hers have to watch from wherever Mexicans go
instead of Heaven.
[laughter]
[helicopter blades whirring]
- Run, Willie, run!
[bell dinging]
- Oh, my God.
- D'Elia looks in shock. - Really tough, man.
- Are you okay? - That's really tough.
I mean, that-- those were both great.
[laughter]
- Oh, my...
- Wait, Jeremiah, let me get one of those.
- Milk man! - Thank you.
- Milk man. - [chanting] Chug! Chug! Chug!
- No cookies?
This is definitely the weirdest show on television.
Gotta vote. - Who you like, World Peace?
- I think the--
When he said her boobs went different directions...
[laughter]
I think that was false. She has great boobs.
So, um... - Oh!
- Hey, no, wait. I got--
- Good boobs!
- You know you're in the NBA, right?
There's so many more boobs for you.
- No, man. [laughter]
- Security, we have a horny NBA player
in the building right now. - Oh, I'm super horny.
- Lock your daughters up.
- It was a tie,
and then since you had a false statement,
I'll give it to Anna.
- Hey! That's good judging.
- I'm gonna give it to you
because of your--you're just-- nothing fazed you.
You just rolled with everything.
There was not a-- no twitchy face, you just--
- He has Tourette's.
You're lying. [laughs]
- I twitch because I keep looking at you,
and my eyeballs try to kill themselves, like--
- Can we wrap this up
so she can get back to looking for the six-fingered man
who killed her father?
[laughter]
- It's that prince, though.
- Saudi Prince. - That's that prince, though.
- [ululating]
- I enjoyed both of you.
I think you guys were fantastic.
I'm just gonna give it to Anna because she--
for me, after her jokes, what I like she did,
she did this little--
- She had style. She had style.
- And that did it for me, so I give it to Anna.
- That's a very Sebastian-like move.
- I was gonna say.
I learned it from watching you.
- It's two-one, Keith. Jeff, who do you like?
- I don't think that there's any doubt.
That lambskin condoms joke won it for me, Anna.
Keith, you're a true competitor. You've been doing--
you've done, what, 19 battles? - Yeah.
- Jesus. Wow. - That's amazing.
Uh, you're a killer, but I gotta say,
I really think this was Anna's night.
So congratulations, darling.
You got it.
- Make it loud for Anna!
Hug each other. Hug each other.
- Aside from the part that I didn't win,
it went exactly how I wanted it to go tonight.
- Exactly.
-
It was perfect.
- I love you and I'm gonna be fertile
for the next 20 years.
- Eat shit and die. - [laughs]
- No, I love you. You did so great.
You made me very, very proud.
- Aw! - I'm glad you're my friend.