>> Stephen: EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK TO THE LATE SHOW.
OH, I AM PRETTY EXCITED LADIES AND GENTLEMEN BECAUSE MY FIRST
GUEST TONIGHT STARS IN A LITTLE INDY MOVIE COMING OUT TOMORROW,
PLEASE WELCOME FROM "STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI", ADAM DRIVER!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> Stephen: GOOD TO SEE YOU
AGAIN.
>> GOOD TO SEE YOU.
>> Stephen: I LIKE THE ALL BLACK.
>> THANKS.
YEAH.
>> Stephen: IT SENDS A SUBTLE SINISTER MESSAGE.
IS THAT PURPOSEFUL?
IS THIS KYLO REN IN PUBLIC LOOK.
>> SURE.
YEAH.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
WHY NOT?
YOU -- THIS IS YOUR SECOND "STAR WARS" BIG OPENING.
DO YOU FEEL LIKE MORE EXCITEMENT FROM FANS THIS TIME?
IS THERE MORE HYPE?
IS THERE MORE ENERGY?
MORE ANTICIPATION?
HOW WOULD YOU COMPARE IT TO LAST TIME?
>> YES.
BUT I THINK IT IS BECAUSE I AM LESS IN A COMA.
THE FIRST TIME, IT WAS MORE -- IT WAS A LOT BUT THIS TIME, I
THINK I HAVE TIME TO BREATHE A LITTLE BIT.
>> Stephen: IT WAS JUST SO MUCH LAST TIME, I DON'T KNOW HOW
TO RECEIVE IT -- >> YES, I HAVE NO BAROMETER FOR
WHAT IS GOING ON BUT THIS TIME I CAN LOOK AROUND A.
>> Stephen: DO YOU ENJOY THIS ONE MORE, IN OPENING MORE THAN
LAST TIME.
>> I REMEMBER IT MORE.
>> Stephen: THAT IS ALWAYS GOOD TO REMEMBER THINGS.
>> I THINK SO I MEAN THE FIRST ONE, THE FIRST ONE IS ALWAYS
KIND OF SPECIAL, BECAUSE NO ONE KNOWS WHAT IT IS.
>> Stephen: YOU NEVER FORGET YOUR FIRST ONE.
>> SURE.
>> Stephen: THAT'S TRUE.
>> THE SECOND ONE IS JUST OKAY.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
THE SECOND TIME BLEW.
I KNEW THERE IS SOMETHING COMING OUT, I NEED TO POINT THIS OUT
BUT YOU ARE NOT HIDING THE BOTTOM OF YOUR SHOES. CAN YOU
SHOW THEM THE BOTTOM OF YOUR SHOES?
LOOK AT THAT.
THAT IS -- THAT IS SUPER SPECIAL.
YOU COULD LITERALLY GO PAINT THE TOWN RED IF YOU JUST SHUFFLE.
DID YOU KNOW THOSE WERE RED BEFORE I SHOWED THEM TO YOU?
I SWEAR, THIS IS A KYLO REN OUTFIT RIGHT HERE.
BECAUSE THAT IS FIRST ORDER (BLEEP) RIGHT THERE.
>> SURE.
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE TO BLEEP THE HOST NOW.
I APOLOGIZE.
YOU ARE A YOUNG MAN YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE ME HAVE THE SALTY
TALK WITH YOU.
WHAT HAS BEEN ON SINCE YOU WERE HERE A YEAR AGO, RIGHT.
>> I THINK SO.
>> THIRD TIME YOU HAVE BEEN ON.
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
>> SOMETHING INBETWEEN BUT I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS.
>> Stephen: SOMETHING CHANGED ABOUT THE WORLD AND THE UNITED
STATES OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
>> SURE.
>> Stephen:.
>> NO THE SECOND THING I CAME FOR, I CAN'T REMEMBER, FIRST IT
WAS "STAR WARS".
>> Stephen: YOU CAME FOR MIDNIGHT EXPRESS.
>> SPECIAL.
>> Stephen:.
>> MIDNIGHT SPECIAL.
>> Stephen: MIDNIGHT EXPRESS IS A MOVIE ABOUT PEOPLE THAT GOT
ARRESTED FOR SMUGGLING OPIUM OUT OF, HASHISH OUT OF TURKEY, YOU
WEREN'T IN THAT ONE.
>> SAME THING.
>> Stephen: YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN GOOD, YEAH, YEAH.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: HAVE YOU SEEN IT?
LOOK HOW SHINY.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
HOW COULD YOU -- DID YOU HAVE SOMEONE CARRY YOU OUT THERE?
THERE IS NO SCUFF ON THE BOTTOM OF THAT.
>> I PUT THEM RIGHT ON THERE FOR THE FIRST TIME AND YOU HAVE
REALLY CLEAN FLOORS I GUESS.
>> Stephen: YOU COULD EAT OFF THESE FLOORS.
I DON'T RECOMMEND IT.
SO HAVE YOU SEEN IT?
HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEW MOVIE?
>> YES, I HAVE SEEN IT.
>> WHAT DO YOU THINK, IS IT OKAY?
>> IT IS REALLY GOOD, AIM NOT JUST SAYING THAT BECAUSE I AM IN
IT.
WHAT RYAN HAS DONE AND WHAT THE ACTORS ARE DOING AND EFFECTS,
SOUND,.
>> Stephen: OH THERE IS A TALKIE?
>> RIGHT.
EVERYBODY IS SPEAKING IN THIS ONE AND YOU HEAR THEM.
IT IS REALLY GREAT.
ALL AROUND IT IS REALLY GREAT.
>> Stephen: WELL I AM REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.
NOW, HERE IS THE THING.
WE COULD NOT GET A CLIP OF THIS.
>> RIGHT.
>> Stephen: ALWAYS LIKE WHEN YOU HAVE SOMEBODY COME ON FOR A
MOVIE THERE IS A CLIP.
>> TRUE.
>> Stephen: AND, YOU KNOW, MARK WAS ON AND HE DIDN'T BRING
A CLIP AND YOU DIDN'T BRING A CLIP.
>> BUT I BROUGHT THESE.
>> Stephen: YES, YOU DID.
WOULD YOU -- COULD WE ACT OUT A CLIP.
WOULD YOU -- I THOUGHT MAYBE WE COULD MAKE 0 OUR OWN CLIP HERE.
DO YOU WANT TO -- [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Stephen: OKAY.
WHERE ARE YOU, KYLO REN?
>> HERE I AM.
>> Stephen: CAN YOU BELIEVE WHO MY PARENTS TURNED OUT TO BE?
WASN'T IT SHOCKING?
>> NO. I HAVE GOT TO GO TO THE BATHROOM.
>> Stephen: I WILL WAIT.
PRCHGHTS I AM DONE.
DAR -- >> I AM DONE.
>> YOU LEFT YOUR -- ON 3 LET'S SAY WHO MY PARENTS WERE, ONE,
TWO, 3 -- >> STEPHEN COLBERT.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
YEAH.
>> AND IT GOES INTO A THING AND TAKES A NAP.
>> AND USE THE FORCE.
GOOD NIGHT!
THANK YOU.
DO YOU LIKE PLAYING EVIL?
>> WELL, I MEAN, LIKE YEAH.
BUT I DON'T -- THIS IS AN ACT -- I DON'T THINK OF HIM AS EVIL.
I THINK OF HIM AS SOMEONE WHO THINKS HE IS RIGHT AS OPPOSED TO
SOMEONE WHO THINKS HE IS EVIL.
>> Stephen: DON'T ALL EVIL PEOPLE THINK THEY ARE RIGHT?
>> SURE BUT I DON'T THINK THAT THEY THINK THEY ARE EVIL.
I THINK -- THEY THINK WHAT THEY ARE DOING IS MORALLY JUSTIFIED
SO THERE IS NO END TO WHAT THEY WILL DO TO MAKE SURE WHATEVER
AGENDA THEY HAVE IS BEING PUSHED.
I THINK IN MY EXPERIENCE SOMEONE WHO IS JUST EVIL OR -- FOR THE
SAKE OF IT DOESN'T SEEM TO HAVE A SHELF LIFE TO ME.
PEOPLE WHO I FIND EVIL OR UNPREDICTABLE OR SCARY ARE
ALWAYS JUST -- YES, THEY THINK THEY ARE RIGHT AND MORALLY
JUSTIFIED TO DO WHAT THEY ARE DOING AND THEY ARE INCAPABLE OF
HEARING THE OTHER SIDE.
>> Stephen: AND PEOPLE WHO THINK THAT THEY MAY NOT BE
MORALLY JUSTIFIED OFTEN TURN OUT TO BE GOOD PEOPLE BECAUSE AT
LEAST THEY EXAMINE THEIR CONSCIENCE?
>> SURE.
IF YOU MAKE TIME FOR IT.
IF YOU DON'T, FOR WHATEVER REASON, THEN --
>> IT IS A BUSY TIME OF YEAR.
>> YEAH, YEAH.
>> Stephen: ARE YOU -- DO YOU THINK, DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF
THE HERO OF YOUR OWN STORY?
>> SURE.
I THINK HE DOES, YEAH.
>> Stephen: I MEAN DO YOU.
>> NO, NO, NO.
>> Stephen: REALLY?
>> I FEEL LIKE I AM BARELY HANGING ON.
>> Stephen: I FEEL YOU.
I FEEL YOU.
I HEAR YOU USED TO BE A SALESMAN.
>> OH, YEAH.
I WAS.
>> Stephen: WHAT DID YOU SELL?
>> I SOLD VACUUM CLEANERS, WELL, CAN I SAY THE NAME OF.
>> SURE WHY NOT.
>> KIRBY VACUUM CLEANERS.
>> Stephen: KIRBY, QUALITY.
>> YEAH.
NOT SO MUCH.
MAYBE I CAN'T SAY -- >> Stephen: YOU ARE QUITE A
SALESMAN.
>> I DIDN'T SELL ANY.
>> Stephen: DID YOU GO DOOR TO DOOR.
>> OH, YEAH, YEAH.
>> Stephen: NO WAY.
KNOCK, KNOCK MAY I PUT DUST ON YOUR CARPET.
>> YEAH LIKE THESE ARE THE TUBES THAT THE ASTRONAUTS ARE USING
THAT HAS NOVEL CROW.
>> Stephen: WHEN WERE YOU SELLING THESE?
DURING THE NIXON ADMINISTRATION?
LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO A PRODUCT CALLED TANG.
HOW LONG DID YOU THIS?
>> I SOLD A COUPLE, NOT VERY LONG, LIKE SIX MONTHS.
IT WAS IN, LIKE RIGHT AFTER HIGH SCHOOL BEFORE I WAS IN THE
MILITARY WHERE I WOULD SELL VACUUM CLEANERS AND THEN I WAS A
TELEMARKETER.
>> Stephen: WHAT WERE YOU TELEMARKETING.
>> A COUPLE OF THINGS, ONE WAS FOR A BASEMENT WATER PROOFING
COMPANY, WHERE YOU CALL PEOPLE AND SAY, YOU KNOW, IS YOUR
BASEMENT LEAKY?
WE HAVE SOMEBODY THAT WILL COME BY AND CHECK IT OUT AND MAKE IT
NOT SO DAMP.
IT ALL SOUNDS SEXUAL NOW THAT I SAY IT OUT LOUD.
I WAS. GOOD AT THAT JOB EITHER.
>> AND I HAVE A HOSE I CAN CONNECT TO IT.
>> SURE.
AND THERE WAS ANOTHER CALLED, I DON'T KNOW --
>> SURE, SAY IT.
>> BEN FRANKLIN CONSTRUCTION WAS THE NAME.
I DON'T KNOW IF IT IS AROUND ANYMORE.
>> Stephen: WOW, QUALITY.
>> AND IT WAS ME AND THIS OTHER LIKE A GUY WHO WAS REALLY ANGRY
GUY WHO WOULD ALWAYS -- WE WOULD LIKE SELL -- WHAT IS IT, LIKE
CONSTRUCTION COMPANY, AND SO WE WOULD CALL AND OFFER
CONSTRUCTION.
I DON'T REMEMBER THAT VERY WELL.
>> Stephen: WOULD YOU LIKE SOMETHING CONSTRUCTED?
>> WE HAD LIKE ONE OF THESE WHERE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO GO
DOWN.
>> Stephen: A CARD YOU HAD TO GO DOWN.
>> NOT SO MUCH THE ANYTHING THING BUT -- BUT YOU WOULD GO
DOWN THE CHECKLIST AND ALWAYS ASK TO SPEAK TO, ASK TO SPEAK TO
THE MAN OF THE HOUSE WHICH IS KIND OF TERRIBLE.
IT WASN'T ME.
I DIDN'T RIGHT THE SCRIPT.
>> Stephen: YOU -- >> AND THAT IS HOW I REMEMBER
IT.
I WOULD WORK THOSE KIND OF THREE JOBS ON A ROTATION.
I WORKED THE KIRBY VACUUM THING, WHENEVER I COULD AND THEN I
WOULD WORK IN THE MORNING FOR THE WATER PROOFING COMPANY AND
AT NIGHT I WOULD WORK AT THE BEN FRANKLIN CONSTRUCTION BECAUSE I
HAD NO JOB.
I WASN'T GOING TO COLLEGE, YOU KNOW, THESE THINGS WERE PAYING
LIKE MINIMUM WAGE.
>> Stephen: WOW.
>> SO I WAS WORKING BASICALLY 24 HOURS A DAY.
>> Stephen: DID THAT HELP?
CAN YOU TRANSLATE ANY OF THAT INTO ACTING LIKE FOLLOWING THE
SCRIPT AND -- >> YEAH.
BUT MOSTLY THIS IS THE FAILURE ASPECT OF IT.
PUTTING YOURSELF OUT THERE AND JUST SHOT DOWN.
>> Stephen: RIGHT.
>> SURE.
LIKE THE REPETITION OF IT THE IMPROVISING BUT NOT SO MUCH.
MOSTLY FAILURE.
>> Stephen: WELL, I HAVE NO DOUBT THAT THIS NEXT ONE WILL
NOT BE A FAILURE FOR YOU.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH.
>> Stephen: I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
"STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI" OPENS TOMORROW, AD ADAM DRIVER,