For video games, the early 2000s was, like…the worst possible time to be flat, because you
were about a decade off in both directions.
Too late for the old-school days, and too early for the modern retro movement.
2D was basically dead on consoles, and it sucked.
Especially for this game.
Because timing is the only thing, Alien Hominid didn’t get right.
Released to several platforms, back in 2004…Alien Hominid was, a lot of things.
It was this, chaotic collision, of attitude and style.
It was an early example of free Web games coming to the console world.
But most importantly, Alien Hominid was a throwback at a time when throwbacks weren’t
really that popular.
I mean, this was years before games like New Super Mario Bros. came along, and all the
sudden, it’s cool to be flat again.
There weren’t a lot of 2D games on the GameCube.
That alone made Alien Hominid seem different, and unique.
Then you start slicing up Soviets, and it’s like, “Okay, this is definitely something
different, and unique.”
So Alien Hominid was kind of like Contra for the GameCube generation.
Replace the whole macho military thing of the 1980s, with the style and snark of the
2000s…and turn Bill Rizer into an alien.
That’s about it.
Alien Hominid combines shooting and action-platforming into the same irresistibly brutal concoction
that defined so many classics two decades earlier.
If you like Contra, and Metal Slug, and Mega Man…you’re gonna love this little guy.
He bites people’s heads off.
First thing’s first, though…what’s happening?
Well, the backgrounds tell the story.
The FBI is shooting down aliens, ‘cause that’s what they do, nothing to see here.
And one of the aliens survives the crash.
He looks like Stitch’s insect cousin…only with less ears, and more yellow.
Oh, and more guns.
Dude has crazy guns.
And as you can imagine, he’s none too pleased with the guys in the black suits.
Still no excuse, for…reckless driving, though.
That’s, like…at least six different violations.
So the gameplay’s about as simple as it looks.
You can attack with the B button, you can jump with the A button.
You can also burrow into the ground, and take bad guys by surprise.
And you can do the aforementioned head-eating thing, which is…kind of f*cked up.
So the mechanics are simple, but Alien Hominid is really old-school in that…the gameplay’s
not simple.
There’s actually a lot of subtlety.
And even though it’s not a hard game to play, it’s an insanely hard game.
So the challenge isn't figuring out what you’re doing, or how to do it.
It’s doing it.
Which is such a hallmark of old-school game design.
Speaking of insanely hard…when your alien first spawns, it has this force field.
Get hit once, and you lose the force field.
Get hit again…you lose the alien.
That process repeats every few seconds, in this freaking game.
Alien Hominid is crazy tough, and you stack up a pretty huge alien body count along the
way.
You get extra aliens after each level, based on your score, but…they never last long.
I mean, sometimes, the whole freaking screen explodes.
So good luck with that.
Good luck preserving alien life on that one.
Now, given the nature of the gameplay, and the low variety of enemies…this is obviously
a game that could get repetitive.
But Alien Hominid does a lot to prevent that.
The game knows just when to change things up, whether it’s with a tank, or… some
kind of Russian yeti.
Nyet-i.
And the game is constantly throwing these awesome bosses at you.
There are actually about 15 of them in total, with…really, incredibly cool designs.
Honestly, the bosses alone are worth the price of admission.
And there’s actually a lot of mini-bosses along the way, too.
I haven’t mentioned the presentation yet.
Uh, obviously this is a gorgeous game.
It’s got this awesome style, which is really the game’s calling card.
It’s got that surrealist look that was so typical of animation in the 1990s, but with
a distinct attitude all its own.
And it’s animated by hand, too…which always gets a game bonus points from me.
But the music is actually a little disappointing, compared to the rest of the package.
And the audio actually cuts out from time to time, which is strange.
So there’s definitely a quality gap between what you see and what you hear.
But one thing that never lets you down…is what you’re doing.
From start to finish, which is usually just a few deaths later…the game’s just a blast
to play.
It’s funny, it’s fun, more than anything else.
And even though it’s ridiculously unfair sometimes…listen, you can’t stay mad at
it.
I mean, look at those eyes.
Awww.
He’s like, “I’m 2D. F*ck you guys.”
It’s Alien Hominid for the Nintendo GameCube.