A giant nugget and a giant barbecue sauce.
If this isn't describe a perfect life, I don't
know what does!
My chicken nugget addiction has
gotten so intense that now
if I don't eat chicken nuggets, I get sick.
And what am I supposed to do?
Not eat chicken nuggets?
No, I'm never gonna do that.
Chicken nuggets are life.
Ever since the first chicken nugget video
I've been getting nonstop hate mail from chicken advocates.
They're so crazy.
They follow me everywhere.
They were even at my mom's funeral,
but I'm not gonna let them get
in between my love of chicken nuggets.
Hi. I was wondering how many chicken nuggets can I get
per order?
- If I wanna do a big order...does a thousand?
like would I be able to do that?
Okay, Mr. Nuggy, today
we're gonna go for little dip in the barbecue pool.
Woo woo woo woo.
- My mom was telling me that I would never find the love
of my life because of my chicken nugget addiction.
So I proved her wrong and made one.
This is Jessica.
She's a five foot tall chicken nugget.
What more could you ask for in a woman?
And we do everything together, and I mean everything.
Hello?
- Chicken eater! You're a chicken eater!
You need to be stopped.
- How'd you get my number?
- Oh, don't you worry about that.
I know where you live, you chicken eater. I'm gonna stop you!
- I used to have a lot
of fast food chicken nuggets and barbecue sauce this size.
And one day I realized, oh my God, this is so small.
It's not enough to satisfy my craving.
So I decided I had to go big or go home, so I made these.
Now, I'll never run out of chicken nuggets
and I'll always have an unlimited supply of barbecue sauce.
Oh Jessica, I can't wait to grow old with you.
How many kids should we have?
Five piece, 10 piece?
I can't wait.
This box right here is the first ever
box of chicken nuggets that-
Ooh! Must be my chicken nugget delivery.
- You chicken eater!
You need to be stopped!
Don't you have any shame?
All you do is eat, eat, eat chicken!
- Leave me alone.
You and your friends need to get up and get out of here.
- No, you shut up!
- My addiction to chicken nuggets
would be absolutely nothing
without this important ingredient:
Barbecue sauce!
My relationship to barbecue sauce goes so deep.
She's like the sister I never had
and like the mother I always wanted.
I don't know, a better relationship.
That's why I consume
at least five gallons of barbecue sauce a day.
You can't be serious.
You're not gonna leave all that we've built.
Are you gonna be able to look at each one
of our five piece chicken nuggets and say goodbye to them?
Goodbye to everything that we've built together?
Just because I had one chicken tender
and a couple of chicken fries.
Are you serious?
I said I was sorry.
You know I only have eyes for you.
Please, Jessica, don't leave.
- Protect these chickens! They have lives!
- Oh my god.
It's so saucy! Aye, I get that.
Saucy, 'cause it's barbecue sauce.
I promise, I promise I'll never have another
chicken tender again.
I swear to you, you're the only chicken in my life.
You my dear sweet chicken nugget.
You're the only one.
I promise you that, okay?
I don't think I can emphasize just how amazing
chicken nuggets are. I mean, look at it.
It's just so beautiful and, and gold. It's just so, I don't-
- What's wrong with you, chicken eater? Come on!
You gotta stop.
- Just don't move.
They react to motion.
You say still go get away.
- You scared of a little chicken? Come on!
You gotta stop killing these chickens.
- How am I gonna get this nugget to fit inside this box?
There's no way it's gonna fit.
- Chicken nugget, chicken nuggets.
- Dude, I'm sick of this.
You wanna see a chicken eater?
I'll show you a chicken eater.
- Well, yeah, well come.
- Yeah. No, Come on.
- Yeah. What?
- No, I'm sick of you guys harassing me.
All I'm doing is loving chicken nuggets.
I'm gonna make you into a giant chicken nugget!
- Oh my God! Oh my God!