if you leave and take the kids how do you think ray is going to feel ray's not coming with me
i know he's not how do you know that he'll be with dad he wants to my brother ray is
a true order member he thinks it's a church of god and that he's gonna go to the celestial kingdom he
thinks everything my dad does is what god wants he will literally do anything to be a part of the
order to be a good member have you talked to him about herself i haven't no i can't talk to anybody
about knowing so then if he does end up staying we're gonna all keep reaching
out to him oh yeah there's no doubt i would try after everything i got
i love him with all my heart i i would love him to stay with me and be with me but i know that he
is very devoted to the order and he'll never waver it's gonna be hard to walk away
but if that's what he wants that's what i want for him
so with everything on your mind what scares you the most well everything that we've been taught
you just you're gonna leave you're gonna be you won't have heavenly father's help you won't have
i mean the help that i guess they say that the order gives you
there are so many women in the order who get married young glory is a perfect example of
what happens to them the women are taught that in a marriage nothing else matters
as long as they are having their kids and raise them to grow and build the order the ideas
if you don't breed and build the kingdom of god you'll go to heck
you're there to build the order and that's why we are doing everything we're doing we're
here to build heavenly father's kingdom the privilege is to build up the kingdom of god
everyone here has a part to play in the order the order of burdens is women down
they require them to have more children than they can possibly handle financially
and mentally i don't know if i will ever graduate even from high school the privilege is to be a
a mother in the order it's important to set our priorities where they need to be
if a woman is starting to think for herself call the leader he teaches that that is wrong
they have this idea and women say well no one's going to be over me in many ways that's like an
engine being unwilling to fit in with the car it is such a misguided and self-destructive idea
laurie has always tried to do what floral her husband has instructed her to do but because her
children have left she will never be enough and yet women like lori stay because they are taught
that the order is providing a house a job and food on the table we've all been blessed with
the privilege of being in the kingdom of god i really appreciate the privilege of being here
the only place is in the order but these women are brainwashed they are charged rent
they make them work for slave wages while these women watch their children go hungry
i was one of the children who went hungry my mom worked very hard to put food on the table but no
matter how hard she worked there was never enough i can verbally remember going dumpster diving
and searching for food when i see women like lori and my own mother i think what does the
order really provide for them a man who habitually cheats on her poverty and despair and i'm really
really scared because i don't know how i'm gonna support these kids i don't know how it's gonna go
i don't want my babies to be scared or afraid and i need to talk to somebody that's that's made it
so it can reassure me um it's scary i know the few women that left the order do would you want
to talk to them i don't dare talk with someone in the order you don't want to trace back to that
okay well i do know of one woman that left the flds and she had to leave on her own with
five of her kids well can you get a contact with her soon so i can talk to her i'd really really
appreciate that how sometimes you want to meet her as soon as possible okay i'm really glad
that you're doing this this is what our whole family needs right we can finally be together
how a family should exactly we'll be with you every step of the way
you and the kids thank you so much love you love you too
i'm just proud of my mom because she finally decided to choose her children over the cult
i just really hope that my mom doesn't get cold feet and she actually follows through
colleen are you almost ready yeah i'll be ready in like 10 minutes okay cause mom will probably be
here soon my mom's coming over this morning to get some stuff out of my basement that she has stored
my mom shirley is the seventh wife of 14 to daniel kingston daniel's not just any typical
polygamous man he's the brother to the leader of the order he has high ranking in the order
what's mom gonna pick up apparently she has something special tonight she needs
a dress for and blankets that she's getting my mom was kicked out by daniel in the order
because she went public and she allowed health inspectors to come into her home
and see the condition which was really terrible i told my mom that you told me
i no longer had a job and that i could no longer live out here is that not what you said hey hi i
was just wondering um wondering if my tote up here with the skirts and dresses was in and if we could
find that yeah it's downstairs do you want to get a bagel first um no i'm gonna go downstairs
then and see if i can find my that that tote that has my dresses in okay i'll come with you
i was daniel spiritual wife for 29 years
he's kicked me out because i stood up for what i felt was right when i said i am tired of living a
life you're not allowed to say you're married yet you have these children you're encouraged
to not put names on the birth certificate so you have to protect the father who wants to be nothing
more but a sperm donor i have received zero monetary support from him for any of my children
in fact i paid daniel rant so i feel like that the last 29 years i have had to live a lie
oh yeah the kids is blankets
now that he's kicked me out i'm homeless i was forced out and i have no place for my possessions
so have you just been like throwing everything in your car yeah just throwing everything in the
car you don't know anybody you're just kind of out here on your own and it's just like now how are we
gonna survive now what are we gonna do now what's my options so yeah we just still have everything
everywhere and so there's a few places that we've kind of stayed and sometimes we're sleeping on
the couch and the floor and we just exist the best that we can so my mother has asked us to
go ahead and come and stay with her for a while i don't know if anybody can understand how much i
appreciate my mother because i have we really have nowhere else to go unless we want to be homeless
well i was just thinking oh we could go look at the old apartment i don't know if my washer and
dryer are still there with the stove and the piano and just see if they because they told
me they were going to put all my stuff in one room and that i could come and get it so i just
wondered if you guys wanted to come and look but i kind of want to hurry and get going okay
i'll come with you we're living one day at a time and i'd like to be able to sell the larger items
such as the piano and the stove and the washer and dryer so that i have something to be able to pay
whatever expenses i have like my gas for the car and the insurance and school clothes for my girls
are you getting any like weird feelings in your stomach mom like anxiety
the most frustrating part is you go your whole life in the order and they tell you
we'll give you a job you'll get a home and so you don't rely on your education and now
i have been looking for a job everywhere i've even volunteered in the schools
to try to get my food in to try to get some kind of job and i just can't find one
and so i need to do everything i can to take care of my family
holy cow look at all that
it was unlocked
wow
holy cow this isn't even like your house anymore look what she's getting guys
they're even rewiring stuff oh that cow that's amazing someone's spoiled
it's not mom definitely looks a lot better than it used to the jacuzzi tub
when it's finished this is going to be a huge upgrade for the other wife
but it's just like putting a mask of makeup on a miserable face this symbolizes polygamy
my mom tried to do everything right as a polygamist wife she got married young she
started having kids right off the bat her kids went to an order school she worked at the order
businesses we all went to order church and when she exposed the truth of what her life looked like
that she's been living in hazardous poverty she lost her job and her home the only kind
of husband that would do that to his wife is someone who sees his women as property
okay so where's my piano
nope this is more cupboards of hers i wonder where my piano is at maybe it's in shawn's room it's
completely gone there's no they told me i could have my piano and it maybe it's in it's generally
not in there i was told they'd put all my stuff in a room and that they would store it for me and
is that your stove that's the stove okay they say you could have it
yes it was always like this wait there's there's no point is that yours yeah that's our stuff
is that your tv i don't need it i don't want it
feels like i have been used and betrayed
i'm going to do everything i can to survive and we will climb back out and we will be on top
you