- Whoa! What are you doing? - Well, I called my friends,
but none of them wanted to come to your nerd party,
so I'm trashing the place so that when Dad gets back,
he'll think you threw one.
Can you call them back and tell them it's a cool party?
They know you. Won't work.
Boot camp, baby.
I don't think this is a good idea--
[whistling]
- Drop and give me twenty! - Twenty?
You're lucky I can't count higher!
Also the Fayke festival has a strict no-nerds policy.
Oh, so Henry can't go.
Snack attack!
Broccoli? Don't waste my time.
I got forceful fingers, deal with it.
Hey, did you know that there is a button
you can press on your keyboard
that lets you type without any sound?
Don't.
I don't believe you.
I'm serious.
Let me show you.
Don't.
Okay?
There, now no one will hear you type.
Colosso's? Where is that rabbit?
Panama.
Panama? Chloe, did you teleport him there?
Uh...
Mommy's pretty.
Aww...
Chloe, I want you to take me to Colosso.
Ugh, you just made yourself an enemy, kid.
You just got busted.
Whatever, you've got to help me.
- With what? - Get a boyfriend.
Gross.
It's not gross. It's going to be magical.
Look, Piper, I don't know how to get you a boyfriend.
I know. You don't know how to do anything.
Do you have a hug for your cousin Blobbin?
- Is he the rich one? - Filthy.
Cousin Blobbin!
Aww!
Would you consider fifty dollars?
Fifty dollars?
Let me handle this.
[groaning]
My client feels that fifty dollars is way too low
for a playhouse of this quality.
Come on, it's not exactly fresh and new.
Neither are you.
Okay, you need to learn some manners.
- That's it. - Piper, don't.
- We'll take fifty. - I am not buying
a playhouse from a rude little girl who tells me--
[screaming]
Why are your toys so pointy?
Young lady, you promised you'd pick up your toys.
I know, but it's so much easier not to.
I'm in charge tonight, so you have to show me respect.
Starting now.
What's for breakfast? I've got thunder hunger.
Ooh, oatmeal.
Uh, no, Max, that's not...
Ugh, what is this?
Walnuts that Chloe chewed up and spit out.
- Why? - Because it's fun.
Just for that, I'm taking your toast.
Not cool, dude.
Hi, Jackson, my name is...
- Piper. - Piper. My name is Piper,
and I really like you.
So, what do you think of that?
Oh, Ray, come on.
That would never work in the real world,
except maybe for old people.
Hey, I'm not old.
Oh, please, what are you, like, 30?
No, I'm not.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm, like... I'm, like, 30.
There's no way she's gonna be able to tell the difference.
Chloe, we found your blanket.
- Blankie! - Oh, thank goodness!
- Where was it? - It doesn't matter.
Just as long as Chloe's happy.
Do you think I'm a fool?
We were hoping you were.
This blankie is a fake.
No, it's not.
Yeah, it looks just like the one that we took from you.
- What? - What?
Goose!
We need to drive faster.
[music playing]
[honking]
Get out of the way!
You're gonna order a cream puff and then I'll say,
Eat this, you dessert dummy.
And then, kaplammo!
You get hit with that giant slingshot full of cream.
How do you sleep at night?
On piles of money.
It's really hard to get in.
I tried to join and they wouldn't even take me.
Hey, everyone who's surprised by that, raise your hand.
Oh, look, no one.
The awards are this weekend and I have nothing to wear.
Me neither. Let's go shopping, baby.
Oh, sweetie, you're too little
to come to the awards with the rest of the family.
You'll have to stay home with a babysitter.
Okay, but I'm still going shopping.
Was that my credit card?
Well, congrats on your glass hat but Charlotte and I--
[gasps] Guess what?
- What? - Don't care.
Well, I hope she gets here soon
because Max's attitude is unbearable.
♪ I understand ♪
♪ You're coming back, you said♪
I think I know why she left.
I'm thinking this isn't such a smart idea.
Well, if you think that, then it's got to be smart.
Thanks. Wait...
[phone ringing]
- Hello? - Chloe?
Billy and I are in trouble. We need your help.
I can help you.
Tomorrow morning!
I hate being grounded.
Thanks a lot.
Well, I wouldn't have told on you
if you hadn't told on me.
Okay, well, how about this?
No, Piper, you're gonna knock--
Chloe and I were just leaving. Quick, go home, Chloe.
This is for stealing my batteries.
The problem, Doug,
is that I gave you the password to my Hobo Go account.
- You did, and I really-- - And in exchange,
you were supposed to give me the password
to your Redflix account.
I know...
And you didn't do that. Did you, Doug?
I can't. It violates the terms of the agreement
that I clicked on when I made the account.
Nobody reads those!
I wanna leave.
Door's wide open.
You're welcome to leave anytime you want.
What are you gonna do to me if I go?
Only one way to find out.
[chuckles]
Hey, Piper?
Charlotte, come on in.
Help me.
Uh...
Are you in the middle of something?
No, no, no. Doug and I are just getting started.
Well, before you go, I want you to see the kids' faces
after I give them their amazing gifts.
Oh...
You guys are seeing this too, right?
[grunting]
[beeping]
Oh!
Are you okay?
I love Max, he's my favorite.
Whoa, Max is your favorite?
The same Max who just stole your tooth money?
He's funny and he has great hair.
I have great hair, too.
Come on, what does he have that I don't have?
A bunny, a band, a slide...
Okay, new plan.
Were you in the upstairs bathroom?!
Is that makeup on your face?
You knocked my phone in the toilet!
Oh, sorry.
Sorry?!
All my texts and pics are gone!
And my video of Jasper!
I'm Jasper.
You're going to be in a lot of trouble
if Mom catches you wearing her makeup.
Mom's not going to find out.
Well, where are you going dressed up like that?
To a club with my girls.
- What club? - Club Eleven.
Well, you've got to be at least ten years old
to get into Club Eleven.
Well, I'm 11 years old tonight.
See?
This isn't your library card, it's Mindy Flavin's.
Duh, I bought it off her.
[gasping] Chloe, don't!
She did a five-finger swipe!
And I'd do it again, baby.
Okay, this is bad, but we can fix it.
Chloe can teleport us to the bakery to get a new cake.
Good idea. Now we just have to get rid of the old cake.
Told you I'd do it again.