-Thank you. Thank you so much. -It is so good to see you again.
Thank you for coming back. -Oh, thanks for having me.
-Oh, please. -I got to tell you --
all that money I paid Michael Cohen for access to you
was totally worth it. -Oh, thank you.
[ Laughter and applause ] Thanks.
-There's nowhere I'd rather be on my night off than with you,
on network television,
and giving America... -Yes.
-...the entertainment they crave!
[ Cheers and applause ]
-That's what I'm talking about, yeah.
I never -- I don't see you that much.
-Well, by the way, I saw you from afar last week
at the Met Gala. -Oh.
-The Met Gala. How about that freak show?
-Were you -- -Let's get right into it.
[ Laughter ] The Met Gala --
I wasn't invited, but I went, anyway.
[ Laughter ] I tell you -- the theme,
and you know how important the theme is to a party,
ladies and gentlemen. [ Laughter ]
The theme was "Heavenly Bodies:
Fashion and the Catholic Imagination."
-That's right. [ Light laughter ]
-The Catholic imagination. [ Laughter ]
Or -- Or as we used to call it in school, impure thoughts.
[ Laughter and applause ]
-That was the theme. -You -- Speaking --
-The Catholic imagination.
-Speaking of which, I loved your defrocked priest outfit.
[ Laughter ] I -- I...
I just got dressed up as a nun and spent the evening
smashing people on the knuckles with a big ruler.
-That -- Was that you? Was that you?
-Yeah. -That was you. I didn't know.
-But if that was the theme... -Yeah.
-...you'd think, what were the themes they rejected?
[ Laughter ]
"Simple Souls: Styles of the Amish."
[ Laughter and applause ] -It's just...
-"Jews, Jean Jackets, and Jehovah's Witnesses."
[ Laughter ]
"Let Accessories Be Your Savior."
[ Laughter ] -That's a great title.
-This was -- This was models and celebrities
all dressed up as religious figures.
It was like touring the Vatican on mushrooms.
[ Laughter ] "Look!
Look, it's John the Baptist! No, it's Jeff Goldblum!"
[ Laughter ]
At one point, I was in the bathroom,
and I thought I smelled incense. -Yeah.
-But it was the Three Wise Men smoking a joint.
-Yeah. [ Laughter ]
-Fortunately, the Olsen twins were there.
-Yeah, that's right.
-And the Olsen twins make everything better.
But I -- -They do.
[ Laughter ] -I was --
But I was mortified,
because I talked to the coat racks for 20 minutes,
and I didn't realize it wasn't them.
-Oh, yeah, no, you're not.
That wasn't, yeah. [ Laughter ]
That was a coat rack you were talking to.
-It was the coat rack. -Uh, Nathan --
-It was the coat rack, ladies and gentlemen.
Let's talk about the play, can we, please?
-Sure. -Congrats.
"Angels in America." -I know.
It's -- It's overwhelming. It's --
We're all very gratified.
Yes, it's this historic 11 Tony nominations.
-11 Tony nominations? -Yes, but even more exciting,
Donald Trump was also nominated for best revival of "Nixon."
-Is that right? -Yes.
[ Laughter ] -Oh, my God, I didn't know that.
-I think he -- -I didn't see the whole list.
-I think he's got a shot, but... [ Applause ]
-I didn't see the full list on who was nominated.
-Yeah. But this is --
Look, it's one of the greatest plays ever written
and -- and one of the greatest parts ever written.
-Yeah.
-And it's -- it's a thrilling challenge.
But it's a challenge not only for the actors,
but for the audience, because it's an epic marathon.
-Well, it's very long, right? -It's two plays in one.
You know, Part 1 is 3 1/2 hours --
Part 2 is almost four hours.
And -- And whenever you say that, there's a little gasp.
-Yeah. [ Laughter ]
-Because we live in an age where all you want to hear
is 90 minutes, no intermission. [ Laughter ]
So you can get back on your phone and play "Candy Crush."
[ Laughter ] But I -- I liked --
[ Cheers and applause ]
I like to tell people that, yes, it's 7 1/2 hours,
but it's not a rectal exam.
[ Laughter ] It's -- It's a --
-Thank you for reminding them that.
-It's a Pulitzer Prize-winning, Tony Award-winning masterpiece
by this genius, Tony Kushner. -Tony Kushner, that's right.
-And with a spectacular cast
led by the magnificent Andrew Garfield.
-He was great. Yeah. -Yeah.
[ Cheers and applause ] -He is fantastic.
-Yes.
-And he describes the play very, very well.
-Oh, the nicest guy in the world.
And, yes, incredibly eloquent, articulate man.
I mean, he's an inspirational -- -Yes!
-And moving -- when he talks about this play...
-Yeah. -...it's like Oprah.
-Yeah. [ Laughter ]
-It's like -- It's like Oprah and Obama had a love child.
And it's -- And he -- [ Laughter ]
People are -- People are openly weeping...
-He really was that great.
-..asking him to run for president.
-Yeah. But, no, he -- -He healed their sick children.
[ Laughter ] He's -- You know, he's real.
He's also the nicest guy in the world.