the one and only Miss Catherine chase
[Applause]
English is well dry I don't see what's
so great about reading anyways now
reading for losers at least we've got a
new teacher today
Yeah right that'll be a laughing
morning as I'm sure you're aware my name
is mr. Logan I'm your new English
teacher nice to meet you all hope you're
all ready to get to grips with some
Elizabethan literature let's all turn to
page 53 and our poetry textbooks they
will dive straight in with the Bard
himself
yeah are you English they're not
Scottish so you ain't English then
non-british say ain't English then
no I'm not but as you can see I do speak
English but I can't understand what
you're saying sir well clearly you can
sorry are you talking Scottish now I'm
talking English right don't sound like
it okay whatever you want no let's get
on with Shakespeare I think that you're
qualified to teach us English I am
perfectly qualified to teach English I
think the other you don't have to be
English to teach it right have you got
double English or double Scottish is
your name Lauren Cooper by any chance
yeah why your reputation precedes you
anyway so Shakespeare's sonnets sauna is
a poem written in 40 lines the last two
of which must form a rhyming couplet yes
Lauren can I ask you a question not just
now can I ask you a question now just
wait what kind of just arts your
question I only want to ask you a
question kind of artsy a question I'm
just asking you a question can I ask you
a question
what is it are you the doctor
dr. hood
I don't know what you're talking about
you need a doctor who though I'm not
doctor here on your English teacher I
don't often you're a nine hundred and
forty-five year old Time Lord listen did
you just pick up from Mars don't really
know your house right what you know your
house yeah is it bigger on the inside
no be quiet if you park the TARDIS on a
meet-up then we please get back to
Shakespeare thank you so fancy pretty
Piper sir right you are the most
insolent child I've ever had the
misfortune to teach thank you you're
pointless repetitious and extremely dull
bit like Shakespeare you're not even
worthy to mention his name William she
William Shakespeare was a genius you
little madam are definitely not no just
sit there keep your mouth shut and I
will fill you in this whole module all
right now I miss I bother it
[Applause]
I'm
[Applause]
bakka red-faced Bob retired even perfect
mileage I be not bothering Facebook at
rates based on its own even bothered my
mistress eyes are nothing like the Sun
coral is far more red than her lips red
if snow be white why then her breasts
are done
if happy wires black wires grow on her
head I have seen roses Damus red and
white but no such roses see i in her
cheeks and in some perfume is there more
delight than in the breath that from my
mistress reeks I love to hear her speak
yet well I know that music have a far
more pleasing sound I go on I never saw
a goddess go my mistress when she walks
treads on the ground and yet by heaven I
think my love as rare as any she belied
with false compare bite me alien black
[Applause]
I rose by any other name would smell as
sweet
[Laughter]
[Applause]
you