- (sighs) Hey, Grant.
- Hey, Jess, what's wrong?
You seem upset.
- Oh, my boyfriend and me got into a fight last night.
- I'm sorry, what was it about?
- I mean, that's the thing!
One second we're like talking about dinner
and then the next we're just screaming at each other,
like, I don't know!
- I hate when that happens, yeah,
relationships are so hard.
- So hard!
Don't you agree, Captain Blackwood?
- Every day is a life and death struggle
when you're married to the sea.
- Yes!
It takes a lot of work.
- I just got into something with this guy,
and physically the connection's great,
but emotionally something feels off.
- Every night I stare into the inky darkness
watching, waiting, desperately seeking the foul behemoth
that took me leg, and I'm like,
"Hello, the sea, am I invisible?"
- Yes, exactly, it's like I'm being vulnerable,
and I'm not getting anything reciprocated.
- I mean, it takes times, you know,
and if it is right, it will work out eventually.
- I hope so.
I really want to make it work with this guy.
- Yo, exposing your soft underbelly
to the harshness of nature is a risk
for only the bravest of souls.
- It is so true.
I mean, being vulnerable is brave,
and me and my boyfriend we try to be,
and sometimes it works and other times,
like last night, not so much.
- Oh, tell me about it.
Like one moment the sea is tranquil
and at the next, a violent maelstrom
that makes you turn to the heavens
and pray to God for salvation.
Completely unpredictable, no explanation.
Like I'm supposed to just know what's wrong.
- Yeah, exactly, hello,
I am not a mind reader, people, okay.
Don't make me pull this information out of you bit by bit.
(guts splatter)
- Now, in the tough times do you ever think about leaving?
- Yeah, you know, I used to.
- The sea will destroy me.
- But then there's so much more good than bad, you know?
It's like my boyfriend is so thoughtful and kind and funny.
- Ah, the sea air is intoxicating.
Its siren's call luring me to the briny deep
with promises of treasure and adventure
beyond your wildest imagination.
It also gives me crabs!
- Oh!
- Oh my gosh. - Whoa, hey.
- Oh, whoa, no, crabs as in the kinds you eat.
- Ooh! - Oh.
- The sea is full of them.
- Sure.
- Mm, yeah, no, they're delicious.
- Oh, I love shellfish.
- The sea is my mistress, and I'll love no other.
- Oh, that is so romantic (sighs).
When it works, it works, it's like the perfect storm.
- Perfect storm?
Batten down the hatches!
- Oh, no, oh my god, no, that's not what I meant.
Yeah, no.
- (chuckles) 'Course.
No possible way the sea could be around here right now.
- Well, you're both much further along than I am.
I'm still nervous about introducing all my friends.
- Oh my god, that is the real test.
My best friend hated my boyfriend when they first met.
- Many a crewman I've lost to the fickle whims of the sea.
Their bodies dashed upon the jagged rocks.
It's like the sea doesn't want me
to have my own friends or my own life.
I want to go on land sometimes, you know?
- Well, you can't please everybody.
What's important is that you and the sea are happy.
- Stubbs,
Pippin,
Manx,
all good men,
all dead.
- Well thanks for talking with me, guys,
I feel a lot better.
I'm going to text my boyfriend and apologize.
- Captain Blackwood, I gotta ask you,
is it true there's plenty of fish in the sea?
- Speak ill of my sea wife, will ya?!
I stab at thee!
(blood splattering)
- (gasp) Oh my god, Grant!
You can't say that.
- I didn't know, I am so sorry.