An awkward first date, two rejected proposals, and constant divorce rumours.
This Hollywood couple has seen it all. But Denzel Washington and his wife
Pauletta managed to stay by each other's side. Welcome to Rumour Juice! In today’s episode,
we’ll look into this whirlwind romance that has lasted for nearly 40 years.
Denzel and Pauletta met in 1977 on the set of Wilma. And although they immediately clicked,
it wasn't until a year later that they finally became a couple.
The legendary actor shared on Jimmy Kimmel Live that their first date was quite awkward,
adding that he still argues with Pauletta over who actually paid for the cab.
But it wasn’t that fairy-tale Hollywood romance story, with love at first sight
changing everything. Actually, Pauletta wasn’t quite sure whether Denzel was the one until
she understood their marriage was meant to be. While they met on the set for the first time,
Denzel and Pauletta spoke briefly at a mutual friend's party for the first time. She recalled
the moment, “I thought he was cute but I fell in love with his spirit really. That I saw first,
and then I thought, ‘Hmmm not a bad package.’” Later that night, Pauletta decided to go out
and see a play. The theater was dark, and she didn’t notice who was the man sitting beside her.
When the lights were lifted for intermission, she realized she
and Denzel were sitting directly beside each other. Pauletta instantly knew it was fate.
Several years after their first date, Denzel was ready to pop the question,
but Pauletta initially turned him down. In a hilarious 2013 interview with Access Hollywood,
the couple jokingly sparred about how many times Denzel proposed before finally getting a yes.
Denzel remembered it was only once, but Pauletta set him straight. It was twice.
"Why was it twice? Why would I have to ask again?" wondered a bewildered Denzel. "Because I said no!"
Pauletta replied. "You heard it here first!" he then joked.
"She turned me down, she said no. And since it was three times, that means she turned me down twice."
Thankfully, the third time was the charm, and the couple married in the early ‘80s.
How did they keep the flame burning? It appears that Denzel and Pauletta
are genuine and hopeless romantics. They even renewed their vows in a ceremony in South Africa,
with a well-known activist and archbishop Desmond
Tutu ((https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_jfNPOehBw – 0.26) officiating at the occasion.
We can only hope that they got to eat something during the celebration of
their vow renewals because at their wedding they didn't get the chance to eat at all.
"We were shaking so many hands, taking pictures, [and] they ran out of food!" he recalled. "We went
to the, whatever the diner was we ended up at! We had, like, eggs or something."
When asked about his key to a happy marriage, Denzel joked, "I do what I’m told. I keep my
mouth shut!" But the actor later got more contemplative about what had really held
him and Pauletta together over the years and gave his wife a huge amount of the credit.
"What pops into my head: security, food, a beautiful home," he said. Denzel believes there’s
a tremendous difference between a house and a home. You can buy a house, but it doesn’t mean
that you’d immediately call it home. He revealed, “My wife has made our house a home, and raised
these beautiful kids, and protected them and sacrificed for them. She did the heavy lifting.”
What’s more, Denzel struggled to build a happy family as he grew up in a dysfunctional
environment. Pauletta taught him all the love and closeness that made them inseparable.
After living in a broken home during his childhood, Denzel promised
himself to make it different with Pauletta. When asked about his long-lasting marriage, Denzel
said in a Guardian interview, "There is no secret to the perfect marriage. I have been married 27
years to Pauletta. Everybody has their ups and downs; we've had ours. It's hard work, you know.
But we made a commitment. A spiritual foundation helps everything – marriage, work, peace of mind."
But what about Pauletta? How does she feel about their marriage dynamics?
Though she is tight-lipped about her personal life,
Pauletta opened up about the experience of being "the strong woman behind that powerful man."
Following on from a previous answer about former First Lady Michelle Obama, Pauletta noted,
"any woman behind an influential man, has always been there. Maybe the public, and the media,
is now saying we recognize you, but take it from me, I've been on the scene a long time."
She went on to acknowledge that Denzel had been far more in the public eye than she had,
but it had made no difference to their connection. "When Denzel first started, I was right there,
but there was no focus on me. But there's been no less presence in his life and in my life than now.
As you climb, you grow deeper in the foundation, so it makes our foundation deeper."
No doubt, the couple learned a few things about what makes their lasting love work.
But it’s a miracle they stayed together despite rumours of Denzel cheating on Pauletta.
In 2013, pictures of Denzel kissing another woman reportedly
leaked, spurring rumors that the couple was headed for divorce.
Both Denzel and Pauletta denied the gossip but acknowledged that marriage took a lot of work.
"I don't know what statistics are, or I don't know if people in show business have a higher rate
of divorce, but I just think that you have to work at it," Denzel wrote in a Reddit AMA.
He shared that it’s crucial not to give up on each other.
For the legendary actor, his marriage was about commitment.
Although it didn’t resemble a honeymoon all the time, the couple learned how to work things out.
They remained friends along the way, which greatly helped them to nurture love and commitment.
Pauletta addressed the cheating rumours calmly. She revealed, "I live with this man. I see the
down part. I see the sad part. I see every part. He has and knows he has that stability in me as
his wife. That gives him strength, regardless of if he misuses it. I can't dwell on that."
She believes that we live in a society where everybody is disposable. For her,
true love comes with the wisdom of surviving complex challenges. The passion and the lust are
easy to find. The real love story is all about how a couple remains devoted regardless of the storm.
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Denzel and Pauletta are parents of four, and it hasn’t been an easy journey.
Speaking of Denzel, it was almost impossible for him to combine parenting and acting.
Maybe that’s why he admitted that the major source of his power was always his wife’s support.
Yes, she safeguarded their family together all along the way. Pauletta stayed strong
in the wake of all the challenges that could destroy the couple’s personal life.
Their parenting style has been a "hybrid." As Denzel shared, it's a mixture of what he and
his wife learned from their parents. He added, "My wife's done a great job. She's been the consistent
one, just trying to give them a normal life." And the couple's children actually followed in
their parents' footsteps. Their eldest son, John David, is an actor and recently starred in Spike
Lee's Oscar-nominated BlacKkKlansman. Their older daughter Katia is also an actress, while twins
Olivia and Malcolm are starting their own careers in showbiz and studied filmmaking and acting.
Fatherhood is clearly a responsibility that Denzel takes very seriously.
When doing press for his latest film, Roman J. Israel, Esq. (which earned him the Best
Actor nomination in Oscar), he talked about the importance of having a father figure.
"It starts in the home," he shared. "If the father is not in the home, the boy will find a father in
the streets. I saw it in my generation and every generation before me, and every one since."
He believes that his children became good people. Denzel said in an interview with
The Guardian. "They are not perfect but they are generous and humble and kind. My wife did that."
It seems that the year 2022 will be filled with surprises for the legendary actor.
Recently, Denzel was nominated for an Oscar for Best Actor.
It was for the latter film that he received the nomination for his role as the lead character,
Macbeth. "The Tragedy of Macbeth was one of the best experiences of my career,"
Denzel said in the interview. Maybe we'll see Denzel’s triumph this year?
It’s been more than four decades since that game-changing first date when Denzel
and Pauletta found their connection. And their love flourishes as always,
while they seem to be lovestruck throughout all the time they’ve been together.
We’re also sure that no matter where these two are, they’ll always flash the biggest,
brightest smiles. That’s what good love will do to you!
Talking about their long-lasting marriage with Oprah Winfrey, Denzel said,
“People who say they knew (if their spouse was the one) right away are lying! It’s a marathon, not
a sprint.” That’s why we hope Denzel and Pauletta will be Mr. and Mrs. Washington forever and ever.
We’ve been wondering, what do you think about their relationship?
Please let us know and stay tuned for more juicy celebrity stories!