- Excuse me.
Excuse me.
It's my son Kenny's birthday today,
and wouldn't your sun be happier
playing with kids his own age?
(dramatic music)
- I would rather chew off my own foot.
(upbeat music)
- I wanna return it to its rightful owner.
- Aww, what a thoughtful young man.
- Yeah, look up the name for me will you?
- Now you listen here, young man.
- No!
You listen to me, asshole.
I've come a long way for this.
Through some shit your pea brain couldn't even comprehend.
So just give me the information I need,
and I'll be on my merry way.
And if you call me young man one more time
I'm gonna put your head through that damn wall!
- Oh, dear.
- Call security.
- You think I want to shoot a kid?
And go home with that on my conscience?
- Oh, I wouldn't worry about that.
You won't be going home.
(dramatic music)
(guns shooting)
(upbeat music)
What's your game, crazy lady?
- Who cares?
You said if you saw me again, you'd kill me.
- Oh, I remember.
- Well, go on, big talker, let's get this done.
- All right.
(Lila grunting)
- You're better than I thought.
- And you are entirely average.
- You're not going anywhere.
- Put her down!
- [Luther] Put the gun down.
You're not killing anyone today.
- [Five] Be careful up there, buddy.
- Get back now! - Yeah.
- [Allison] Wouldn't want you to get hurt.
- Or what?
(guns firing)
(whooshing)
(stapler clicking)
That's one badass stapler!
(man grunts)
Chapter 27 subsection 3B,
the seven stages in paradox psychosis are
stage one, denial, two, itching,
three, extreme thirst and urination, four, excessive gas,
five, acute paranoia, six, uncontrolled perspiration,
and seven, homicidal rage. (buzzing)
- Come on, whoa!
(upbeat music)
Surely we can come to some form of agreement
that benefits both parties!
Quid pro quo?
What do you say?
- Why not?
Here's your quid.
(Carmichael shouts)
Here's your pro.
(Carmichael shouts)
- No, no, please, no! - Here's your quo.
No!
(glass shattering)
- Explain to me how it is I'm having a pint of Guinness
with my younger self.
- Older, actually.
I'm you, just 14 days older.
- That makes no sense.
- Well, it would if you were smarter.
Oh, Diego.
- Well, who's Diego?
- Imagine Batman and aim lower.
You know what's funny?
I'm going through puberty twice.
I'll never forget you, Dolores.
Excuse me, miss?
- [Employee] Yeah?
- Could you give that mannequin something new to wear?
She likes sequins.
(upbeat music)
- [Klaus] I'm trying to find whatever priceless crap
was in that priceless box so that Pogo will get off my ass!
- I'd ask what you're up to Klaus,
but then it occurred to me.
I don't care.
- Your mother, that slut, whoever she was.
We met at the disco.
Okay, remember that.
Oh my God, the sex was amazing!
- What a disturbing glimpse
into that thing you call a brain.
- Don't make me put you in time out.
- Can I get the kid a glass of milk or something?
- The kid wants coffee, black.
- Do you like jazz, Five?
- I'd rather lick a cheese grater.
- And the last I've checked,
I'm still the leader of this family.
- Well, last I checked, I'm 28 years older than you.
- Yet again, you are experience daddy issues.
I have seniority here.
So it is me you should be listening to, Luther.
I'm the daddy here!
- Hey, old timer.
- Do you want my sister?
If not, would you like a margarita?
- Are you or are you not an enemy of the people?
- Well, that's such
an open-ended question - Really depends
when you think about it, yeah. - on the people.
(upbeat music)
- She's too young for you.
- Nice to see you too, Luther.
- What do you want?
- For you to stop hovering like an ambitious stripper
and sit down with me.
Leave the pot there.
Thank you.
- Lippy little shit.
(whooshing)