[Music]
shameful line for better or worse
but so often it takes far more than
actually gives but fear it's not the
enemy it is just the competition
my name is vegetarian wings and I would
love to tell you a story so I was eight
years old and I went to the doctor and
the doctor said I don't think you a
quick operation wait a minute in that
and I was actually really excited for
the night before I went to bed than him
this is my rites of passage I'm very
first operation
I could hear my mother's footsteps
coming up the stairs snuggle under the
duvet got all comfortable cozy calm
confident even and she came when she's
packed on the end of my bed as she did
so the absolute college range from her
face she turned white as a ghost with
her lips turned blue she put her hand on
my leg she looked me directly in your
eye and she said him was such a dirty I
hope you don't die tomorrow
die die what was definite chin I have
been really excited - point the threat
assessment area of my brain called the
amygdala was going absolutely crazy
I was thinking who's going to get my
favorite board game collection or my
favorite cuddly
which is in the shape of a big Pink
Panther I was also thinking the
important things like what I'm able to
say I love you to my grandmother before
I died I tried to put on my bravest
voice did it come out so it came a
little bit late I'm not gonna die mummy
she seemed to be satisfied with this and
as I had the footsteps going away
I remember being absolutely frozen in
shock and panic I managed to pull the
duvet up above my head and then my brain
comes out with an even crazier thought
it says to me this is what its gonna be
like to be buried alive and I'm sure
you've all had those moments where your
brain it goes from normal to neurotic
faster than a Lamborghini goes from zero
to 60 just zoom and you don't know where
it comes from but what has happened is
this logical analytical part of your
brain I just wanted to sleep and was
very driven the primitive part of your
brain has decided to kick in so this
fear driven part of the brain I like to
call her Amy I mentioned it early the
amygdala and Amy is young immature
insecure and just really loves drama and
I'm sure you will know someone like that
but when you know someone like that you
can walk away but when a person lives in
your brain you can't really move
anywhere or go anywhere and the worst
thing about Amy is that she's actually
made up of 75 percent negative speaking
neurons so when Amy is analyzing any
situation she's three times out of four
always going to come up with the most
worst-case scenario as you can see I
didn't die in the operation I am
to stand on this stage but feel really
motivated and changed the course of my
life
so it's an 8 year old I studied really
really hard I hit the books I studied
science I studied medicine and actually
I studied so hard I became the youngest
medic in the UK and I was got the
unconditional place at Oxford University
I was very proud and I went from there
to law so I was duly qualified but I was
still being motivated by fear so the
fear took me down a road where I became
a lawyer specializing in operations
going wrong even resulting in depth and
the point here is I was such a small
version of myself and nobody no single
person deserves to be the smallest
version of themselves and luckily
someone told me this and I was able to
say controllably
quit my job reset my life and get my
soul to smile again so the idea that I
wouldn't explain to you today very much
what my book was about which is fear it
like a cage
it absolutely rules you in there are
four main walls of fear the first one is
where you have a wall in front of you
which is like a lack of focus you try
and see through you try and get clarity
you try and get direction but you just
don't know where you're going the second
wall affair is behind you and it's
distrust it's a kind of wall are you're
always thinking what do we know have I
got the resources am I going to be able
to do this do I have the confidence for
the ability the third wall is the wall
of attachments and it's all that
emotional baggage because like dragging
into your future that is really slowing
you down and the fourth wall in fact of
expectations I think we all know those
ones where we're so frightened of
failing we don't actually even get
started because we think those
expectations are going to be
and theories very clever because you
have these four walls and they actually
hold this transparent glass roof above
your head so you look and you can see
your dreams and you think you're going
to achieve them but it's not true
because you're going to keep hitting
your head against that glass ceiling but
when you know how to hack there you can
beat it so I just like you to imagine
for a moment that you had a choice of
two life coaches you can choose life
coach right well life coach B so like
coach a me is like a me like that's
right assessment area your brain where
you're being coached by someone who's
insecure or someone who loves drama or
someone who's just not confident coach B
on the other hand is wise is rational is
strategically even I think it's a
no-brainer you all choose coach B right
exactly
now what if I told you you had coach B
in your brain already it's called a
Brogan's area frogman's area 25 and what
Bregman does is he talks barely silences
her down and comes back with a rational
way of being in it decided to talk some
students to lie on an MRI machine so we
could watch what happened to her their
brains and see all these flashing images
light up and the idea was you lie down
on the MRI machine and there is a snake
at the other end all the subjects were
frightened of snakes but they were given
a choice you can press the button move
closer to the snake or you can just stay
there paralyzed by fear and let the MRI
machine move you what they found is that
all the subjects that press the button
actually lit up frogman's area so the
idea here if you press the button light
up the area rodman goes to work silence
is a me the neocortex comes in and it
provides you what you need which is
actually context because
have the context of it is a toy fake
when Amy is saying that it's going to
bite you and you're gonna die and
there's burning with all these crazy
thoughts you can put the context there
and say it's just a toy so if in the
broad men's area to fight fair and if
you need courage to wake up Brockman
then how do you actually find that
courage so this is what I refer to a
source source as a recipe for success
for what is it it's just unshakable
belief in yourself it's that kind of
confidence but it's reached with your
word touchable talent and a pinch of
your purpose and the edge of curiosity
and even a dash of adventure because if
you don't have the right source you're
not going to get what you want in life
you need the right source so that you
don't live your life here where you
actually get to live your life here so
you for example if you were going to
have a Sunday roast it would be a much
letter with a gravy if you were going to
have a Christmas dinner you want to pair
it with a cranberry sauce or a bread
sauce now life is very similar just like
you wouldn't put barbecue sauce with
vanilla ice cream you also need to get
the right source for what you're doing
in life without the right source you're
not going to get the right results
you're going to have missed
opportunities you're going to make poor
decisions you're going to have issues
with your relationships your finances
your health even your mental health I
like to work with my clients and I study
behavior I model what other people do
and how they get successful so out of
all the people that I could model in the
world I decided to model
any source in the world wouldn't you
want to have superhero sauce all
superheroes go through the exact same
journey and you can't have that moment
you can have that moment where you get
to have the powers to do what you want
and fight your fears firstly you have to
realize that you're a superhero
and that you have powers then have to
use those powers and learn and that
involves mistakes and that's okay too
and then when you finally get to your
mission and you use your superpowers
continuously
you find that your mission becomes far
clearer the idea is it's very simple
it's not always easy it's about taking
action daily it's about not putting all
the pressure on what your dreams are or
how you're going to get there but making
sure that you are taking a step each and
every single day we see the first of all
that Ferrer is talking to you about that
hits your focus if it gets in the way of
your focus you don't have clarity and
direction if you're not moving forward
that being with you at the very first
wall those kind of emotions when you
think I'm okay as I am everything's
working for me no I'm not a little
mussed I'm not going to invent the next
supercar or I'm not going to be as good
as the next person
those are actually fears it's not just
about fears and snakes or fears of
spiders or fears of jumping out of
planes it's the fears that are holding
you back from taking the smallest steps
that will actually end up in the biggest
results so by taking action daily you
are actually fighting your fears at the
very base level if you want it and you
put in the hours you will get it that is
how you get your dreams you have to
outwork the competition Dwayne Johnson
also known as a rock
didn't get his body without going to the
gym a lot right and I'm tomorrow didn't
win Wimbledon twice by sitting on the
couch eating popcorn for me I love
basketball I definitely have enough of
it interview K in fact but Kobe Bryant
James LeBron Michael Jordan they put all
the hours on the court and that's what
you really need to do fear is going to
get in the way but you need a direction
so that you have your focus which is
then when you can apply the emotion
because you need the positive emotion to
drive you forward so that your direction
eventually lines up with your
destination so the second wall affair I
told you about earlier is distrust it's
always behind you it's thing that kind
of creeps up on you as I said you need
these positive emotions to drive you
forward but if the negative emotions
have just buried your superpowers and
all your talents so that you can't find
them and I'm sure we've all experienced
these like anger or jealousy your rage
hurt disappointment and also distrust
and distrust is one of the worst
emotions because it can really sticker
add a battery or harm especially when
that distrust is in yourself when that
fear is that you are not good enough so
when you're listening to a piece of
music and you know those really catchy
tunes and you hear it going over and
over and over in your head that's called
the hook and the fear of distrust also
works like the hook because it can hook
onto you and really stop you in your
tracks but worse than that people who
are master manipulators can use that
fear that you have as distrust in
yourself and use it to get what they
need and their advantage which can often
hurt you so it happened to me about a
decade ago
I've already quite
first of all I was a celebrity life
coach I had seen everyone from The Girl
Next Door to CEOs sports stars
politicians royalty for labs and they
decided that I would be a really good
target to say anything if they offered
me six months at a set price and they
would give me two pieces of coverage
every month and it was fantastic I love
to work and with them but when the six
months were up they came to me they I
think they doubled or tripled their
price and they said would you like to
start out for another six months they do
tpz coverage and I said no I'm okay I'm
okay if I am we basically went on to
have a meeting explaining that I would
be nothing that I would be finished if I
didn't actually I'm signed up with them
and I would also be ordinary forgotten
an event in my brain that ordinary if
you can spend all this time making my
clients extraordinary and I can't be
extraordinary I'm going to take that
challenge in the end I did 200 of pieces
of online and offline coverage I started
my radio show I had my own magazine by
that point I also did a book I spoke on
stages around the world in 50 different
languages in 30 different countries I
was published and the list goes on and
on and on and I was so proud not that
I've achieved all of that but that that
exposure got me to help thousands and
thousands of people beat their fears and
also teach them that you don't have to
have the resources of that big PR
company or whatever is making you
frightened
you just have to be more resourceful so
the third wall affair I were just very
briefly touch upon its those about your
attachments and I think you've probably
heard many people tell you that you need
to leave your baggage in the past right
but it is so true who you attach
yourself to in the beliefs that you
attach yourself to you are absolutely
affection yeah our friend and that's you
know obviously great allies but if you
think imagine in terms of superheroes
would Superman go into business with Lex
Luthor would Superman invite Lex Luthor
to dinner no but what do we do when we
find toxic people and not surface and
negative people we go into business with
them we have relationships for them we
invite them into our social circle and
then we freeze and we make up excuses
for them super villains as I like to
call them they're also really persuasive
I'm very very very charming so with it
hard to find a difference between an
ally and a super villain and again this
is where fear comes in because you have
to have the strength to walk away the
fourth wall of fear is about
expectations and when you go back to
thinking about your source and how you
are expectations about how you see
yourself and your fear of failure in the
future my advice to you is to go get
your own source whether it's superhero
or not and fill your life with flavor
and possibility every single one of you
deserves to have your dreams but the
price is courage you need courage to say
control-alt-delete
on anything that makes you smaller at
life because when you say
control-alt-delete to that which is a
working for you you give yourself space
and with space comes choice with choice
comes opportunity with opportunity
comes fulfillment and every single one
of you deserves to have that space to
make that choice to give yourself that
gift so make the choice give yourself
the gift and press ctrl or delete on
whatever is making you smaller and isn't
working for you so that you can have a
brighter future thank you very much you
look fantastic
[Applause]