(frenzied music)
- Ah!
Wow, hi, I'm currently spring cleaning (laughs).
See, y'all can't see the mess,
y'all can't see the mess.
Some of y'all might know this year actually marks
the 10 years of my channel existing.
Public video is only about eight years.
But some time this August,
this channel will have existed for 10 years.
It's gone through a name change,
a slight name change, bitch.
I just took off some letters.
But a name change nonetheless.
Today I want to take the time
to go down a little bit of memory lane
with you guys and so I thought it'd be
for one of the first things we do down memory lane
is to watch whatever a YouTuber does
whenever they celebrate
some trademark, trademark, trademark?
Oh, my God.
Landmark.
It's watch their first ever YouTube video.
A video I have not watched in literal years.
Ever since I first uploaded.
That's a lie, I watched it
a few times after that bitch, okay.
It was my first video.
I was proud of myself.
I'm also spring cleaning in my background.
It's very dirty.
I don't know where to set y'all up.
Let's figure it out, let's go, let's go.
Adventure, adventure, adventure, ah, ah, ah.
Adventure too fast.
- Click.
Welcome to my lair slaves.
Are you guys ready to torture yourself nevs
in my lair.
This is gonna be so cringey
because I got something to say.
I don't think I'll be able to move around
that much in this chair.
So wait a minute, oh, my God.
(Mac coughs)
Olympics 2012, that's right.
First ever video uploaded on this channel
was a review about the Olympics.
(circus music)
You know the thing I do every year now, girl.
Upload on August 8, 2012.
August 8th of this year.
I would officially uploaded my first video on,
on this YouTube channel.
10 years ago.
Now, I've uploaded other videos in the past
on different channels in the past, girl.
They don't exist, I don't know where the hell they are.
But on this channel specifically,
it would have been 10 years.
This was the summer after my sophomore year
of high school going into my junior year.
(drums beating)
Sorry, I thought the earth was shaking for a bit.
Oh, bitch, I thought we were in an earthquake.
I was like oh, is it here, is it coming,
is this the big one.
As you guys see my incredibly long disaster
of a description that I have now
for SEO purposes and fucking marketing,
whatever people were telling me.
This one just has my Twitter, my Tumblr
that does not exist anymore
and a leak to a page for collaborations
and business inquiries.
Girl, I thought I was gonna get somebody
after this first video.
I thought I was being a business girl
when I started a channel pages website
that does not exist anymore (laughs).
Wait, what if I click on the Tumblr link.
Does that Tumblr still exist? No.
The porn left and so did I.
I was too sexy for them.
Okay, let's just watch this.
How did I intro this again.
What did I do?
Lets do this.
Oh, oh, oh, no.
Not some stupid intro click
I found on the internet
and was like oh, I'm so cool.
Look at my little intro.
People are gonna think I made this myself
and they did and I said, "Yes, I did."
And someone asked me did I make it myself
and I said, "Yeah."
Girl, I was such a liar.
I don't lie that much anymore.
I don't have no reason to lie, girl,
I have everything.
I know myself.
I love myself, I am not insecure.
Not with this dumb ass intro.
American Maker Pound Part 1 Print, girl,
I don't know what the fuck that means.
What does that fuckin', how, girl?
This is like the only time I did this intro.
The next video I took it off.
I was like, no, this ain't it.
The next video I did was like a month later, so.
I mean, nothing's changed, girl, I still do that.
- Hi, I'm Machaizelli and this is my first.
- Not my full name, girl.
Not my full name, girl.
I really thought people were gonna be able
to say that gargle of a fucking first name.
I love my name, I love my name,
but, girl, I know it's a gargle.
My channel used to actually
be called "Machaizelli Does It."
Like I was just expecting people
to know how to type my full ass first name, girl.
I was like y'all gonna type this.
Y'all gonna learn.
You can type Lupita Nyong'o, bitch,
you can type Machaizelli (laughs).
- This is my first official video on YouTube.
- Girl, I sound so young.
- Pretty awesome, good things are happening.
- Ooh, that's why I sounded so young.
Girl, look at my room.
Look at how bare it is.
Bitch, what is this? What's happening back there.
I'm a tell you, I'm a tell you,
I'm a tell you right there.
Participation certificate I got from my drama class.
And that's a little Olivia award,
which was a Barbie covered in tin foil
that we gave during our theater classes
and I got it for like scene crush
or some shit.
And we have random books and shit
and a printer that never connected.
This is so sad (laughs).
And then, girl, look at me skinny, skinny.
Look at me.
I thought I was fat just 'cause I jiggled
a little bit, girl.
I jiggled a little bit.
I am 125 pounds heavier today
than I was back then
and I thought I was fat then.
I miss my high school weight, bitch, what the fuck?
I think I look sexy,
but imagine if I stayed that weight
the entire time.
Girl, I'd be unstoppable.
Girl, I'd be everywhere.
I'd be on all the dicks.
Wait, sorry.
- The Olympics are happening today.
Or this entire week.
The Olympics have been happening
this entire week.
- Yep.
See, I'm still the same, girl.
I'm still the same.
Everything is different, though,
but, girl, you know I correct
myself over and over again.
Look at my eyes.
I'm so beautiful.
- Track and field, or as I like
to call black people and field.
No.
- Still the same humor, bitch, look at me.
Can't change.
This is low energy, though, girl.
She didn't know how to perform
in front of a camera.
She didn't know how to perform in front a camera.
Track and field, or as I like to call,
black people in the field, look at me.
Did you know I copied
this video idea from a Grace Helbig video?
(circus music)
Not that joke, not that joke.
She didn't make that joke, don't cancel her.
This video I did was not
my original idea, girl.
Oh, who, surprise.
But it's to the point that there
are certain jokes in this video
that I literally copied
from that exact same video Grace Helbig uploaded
like literally like a month before mine.
No one was watching my ass
so like I could do whatever the fuck I want.
So I decided to copy Grace Helbig.
Whatever, it's just a copy everywhere,
she doesn't know who the hell I am.
- Basketball-
- [Together] Or as I like to call,
black people, a ball.
- Why do I remember this?
- Gymnastics?
Or as I like to call,
- No black people.
- Gymnastics. - Okay.
- 'Cause there's no other thing
to call it because it is amazing.
- Oh.
Was that supposed to be funny?
Was that supposed to be, I don't know.
I was so focused on trying to be like awkward,
like that was my goal is to be awkward.
Awkward, quirky, funny.
Awkward, quirky, funny Mac,
you know what I mean, like Grace Helbig, bitch.
That's who I was trying to emulate.
It was her video idea that that came from.
Skinny Mac, look at you, you need to learn.
- Then there's trampolining, which-
- Mm-hmm.
- Is kind of funny to me
because all they do is jump on a trampoline.
- This is boring.
Do you hear my voice?
That's what people don't realize, girl.
I have a monotone ass voice.
That's why my editing's crazy
so y'all don't notice, okay (laughs).
But when you meet me in real life
and you realize my voice is pretty monotone,
a lot of people think I'm like mad
all the time, girl, no,
that's just my monotone ass voice.
Look at this smile, girl.
Look at that dent in his forehead.
What the fuck is happening?
Look at that hairline.
Nothing's changed, nothing's changed.
- My favorite athlete right now
is McKayla Maroney or however you say her name.
- McKayla Maroney.
- She is the best vaulter in the world.
- Yep.
- She has the best, here it is, bitch face.
- Here it comes.
- I've ever seen in my life.
- Here it comes.
- Whatever she says, you just think
she's being a bitch.
Nice outfit. - Yep.
- I'm so happy that you beat me for gold Romania.
- Yeah, I copied that joke
from the Grace Helbig video.
- Look at that face.
And this is what the Queen thought of it.
I wonder what the Queen thought of that?
Here's what the Queen thought of it.
What'd the Queen think of that?
- Girl, she wasn't original.
She didn't start off original.
Moral of the story, moral of the story,
we all grow.
This is less cringey and embarrassing
than I expected to be.
This feels more fulfilling
to showcase that I've like grown dramatically
since when I first started 10 years ago.
What I like the most is that they're like short,
like every single gymnastic person is short.
- Yeah, Mac, great.
- And it's adorable to me
'cause they could be-
- So relatable. - 26.
- There is no cuts, girl.
This is hard, this is hard to watch.
I don't know why I thought I was
the hots fish, bitch.
Two more minutes, here we go.
- Speaking of Ryan Seacrest.
- Speaking of Ryan Seacrest, look,
do you see me trying to be funny?
- Who walks up to Ryan Seacrest,
- What's the joke?
- And told him-
- Where we going?
- They want him to be a part
of everybody's Olympic experience.
- What was wrong with Ryan Seacrest, boy?
I sound so young, do you hear me.
(Mac mumbling)
- Bringing Ryan Seacrest to the Olympics
is like taking a 4-year-old child.
Okay.
- To a porn movie.
- What?
- They don't know what's going on.
Girl, what a comparison.
Look at me trying to be funny.
Oh, you're so comedian.
- Ryan Seacrest.
The athletes will not win
a gold medal if they're the most tweeted about.
- Okay.
- No, Ryan Seacrest.
- He never asked that.
- The athletes will not win
a gold medal if they are the most liked on Facebook.
- Oh, not me stuttering (laughs).
Got me thinking I'm being funny, girl.
Ryan Seacrest did not talk about that.
- No, Ryan Seacrest.
- Yes.
- Justin Bieber is not going
to win a gold medal
because Justin Bieber is not at the Olympics.
- Obviously.
- And, yes, Ryan Seacrest,
Obama is going to call every single last one
of those athletes.
'Cause Boracky want them votes.
- And he did, girl, and he did, girl.
You know he did.
- The part that confuses me-
This video is focusing and unfocusing over
and over again.
I was using a Canon Power Shot,
which is like this weird point and shoot camera.
I remember my dad was gonna give me
a DSLR because I was a good kid, right.
As and Bs, I was in the honors program.
I didn't ask him for much.
But the one thing I really wanted
because I wanted to start a YouTube career,
I wanted a DSLR that I could record,
but he was taking forever to get me one
and I was getting impatient
'cause the summer was almost over
and I was like I need to start
my channel now during the summer
so I can gain views from all the kids
on summer vacation.
Girl, what views?
I had a strategy, y'all don't understand.
Before I started this channel,
I was doing private videos between my friends
just to pass time over the summer.
We were just making private weird vlogs
and just sending them to each other
'cause we all watched YouTube
and the reason why I started
my YouTube channel during the summer of 2012
was because me and my best friend were hanging out
at her house one day watching YouTube videos
and we both came up with the epiphany
that we should both start our own separate channel,
grow a significant audience
and then come together and form a group channel
and then take over the entire website
and I was like hell, yeah, I am so down.
Let's get internet, baby.
So I started my channel with this video
and then she never started hers.
(circus music)
She's getting married this year.
Time has passed.
The world is different.
She graduated college, I did not, you.
- That part that confuses me is the commentators.
I would think an entire performance is great.
- I'm so bored.
Look at the capes in the background.
I forgot those capes in the background.
I used to love going to Six Flags
and we went to Six Flags
and you can get a bunch of capes.
I don't know what happened with them actually.
I think they disappeared.
They might be in a box somewhere
in my dad's garage, actually.
I don't know.
I wonder how I ended this video?
I forgot how I ended this video.
Thank you for watching.
I'll try to make better videos than this
'cause I know this one was disaster.
Like, favorite comment, do it or I'll cry.
I'm a crier, not really.
Subscrib-ay.
- Oh.
- And tell your friends.
- Girl, that's where it started
from the day one?
Bitch, bitch, I forgot.
- Subscrib-ay.
- Subscrib-ay, bitch, oh, my God.
That's insane.
I did not know I was holding onto that
until day one.
I like completely blanked out.
I had no idea where I fuckin' got subscrib-ay from.
Like I literally to this day do not remember
when I got the term subscrib-ay from.
I know it's subscribe in Spanish.
But I didn't know that when I started saying that.
I had no idea, girl.
Look at me.
Brandin' since day one, bitch.
Who else, name another,
at 15 years old, girl.
15, Jesus Christ.
There you have it.
That is my first ever YouTube video
and that's the first time I've watched it
in literal years,
but yet I knew every joke
that I was going to say
and every joke that was coming.
I remembered all of that.
10 years ago and I still remember like
almost every single thing in that video,
except for the end apparently.
It's going to be the 10 year anniversary
of subscrib-ay, bitch.
Okay, damn, stretched out shirt, what the fuck.
I should do something.
10 years is a long a monumental thing, right?
Holding on to something for 10 years.
I have no idea what to do.
That's when you guys should come help me actually.
I didn't even thing about this.
I can shout it in right now.
Hey, hi, guys, I wanna go on a trip with you actually.
I wanna go on a vacation with as many
of you guys as I can.
And I wanna budget it to a percentage
that makes sense for all of us.
Sneaking back in because I misspoke earlier.
I wanna plan a trip with you guys.
I have partnered with a company
called Trove Trip
that wants to make a trip package
for me and you for us
to go on a cute little trip together
somewhere around the world.
So if you guys wanna join this trip,
18 and over, I'm so sorry, girl,
liability still is a thing
and there are laws in a lot of different countries
and being 18 is just the best bet.
But if you wanna go on a trip with me,
which I really hope you guys do,
there will be a link down below
to a survey.
Please fill out the survey.
Fill out the places you wanna go,
the activities you wanna do,
the budget that you are willing to spend
and that makes sense.
We can't be traveling the world
on two dollars, I'm so sorry,
that's not a thing.
Nothing for me at least, girl,
you know I'm bougie.
Once we get enough responses
in the survey, then me and Trove Trip
will put together a travel package
that I hope will please enough
of you guys and then we all can sign up together
and go fishing for crabs in the Caribbean or something.
I don't know girl, I don't know.
There's a lot on that list.
You gotta check it out.
Click the survey link down below
and let's go on a trip together.
Let's celebrate my 10 years together
some time in the future.
You also gotta pick what dates
are are coming up for you on that, too.
So, yeah, click the survey below, please do.
The more people that fill it out,
the more we can figure out this package sooner.
That'll be a great 10-year celebration.
Probably won't happen this year,
but I'll probably happen next year
by the time we get everything together.
Yeah, that'll be a cute little celebration thing
I can do.
Comment down below what other things
should I do to celebrate my 10 years.
If you have any ideas, anything special I should do.
Maybe I should go back on tour.
I don't know, comment down below
and I'll see if I can make it happen.
10 years is a big thing.
I think it's time for me
to do something a little bit special.
I really wanna do this trip
so y'all better click that link (laughs).
Whatever it is, I'm gonna go.
For all those people in front of my face
who retweeted my last video,
I'm sorry I'm recording this
before I even upload that video
so I can't say your names,
but I still wanna keep the shout outs going.
My name is Mac and don't forget
to like, comment, share and-
- Subscrib-ay.
- Jesus Christ (laughs).