so for the next few weeks I am staying
indoors only going out to snap up
essential groceries and Family Mart
fried chicken and one the last things I
did before I locked myself away was go
out on my biannual clothes shopping trip
now as you can probably tell I don't
really do fashion or style or anything
particularly good but I did buy my new
favorite shirt complete with an English
phrase that defines not only Who I am
but what I believe in and that is this
has high functionality has high
functionality I wear it with pride
especially when I go down the gym people
are picking up 500 kilogram weights you
might be able to lift a truck but do you
have high functionality probably not I
do simply put is the best shirt I've
ever bought down 100 yen store but as
I'm indoors this month I thought I'd do
a very rare Q&A video answering
questions sent in by you guys I think
it's the first time I've done this in
about two or three years now covering
everything from life in Japan to YouTube
to personal experiences answered with
brutal honesty
we'll also be reading out comment of the
week and hate mail of the week because
not everybody is nice I'd like to think
by the end of this Q&A experience
hopefully we'll know a lot more about
each other about existence about the
very essence of what makes life so
special so unique let's jump in what's
your favorite color of the alphabet
mine's triangle
[Music]
what was the strangest thing you've seen
in Japan all right so this next bit
isn't entirely family-friendly so look
away from the screen for three seconds
if you have to do I'll give you a
warning and so there's a little district
in Shinjuku called golden gai it's a
little collection of bars down these
alleyways it looks like a cyberpunk
dystopian futuristic setting is a bit of
a tourist trap so be careful if you do
go there they do tend to overcharge you
for certain things but there is a good
bar a charming establishment simply
called deathmatch inhale if you like
death metal or horror movies the place
is absolutely covered in them and the
guy that runs it very nice guy really
nice dude they imagine you've sat down
for a drink or two and you're munching
away on the complimentary popcorn which
comes with the place and then you decide
need to go to the toilet so you make
your way towards the back of the shop
and there in the corner on your way you
come face to face with look away now
whatever the [ __ ] that is I remember
seeing that and thinking oh wow I'm
really glad I came here
but once you've seen it you can't unsee
it so I'm sorry for that Yoda with a
chopped-up arm will forever be in your
nightmares welcome to the club what is
your dating life been like in Japan
underwhelming out of the food challenges
you've done which one do you regret the
most so I have done four food challenges
over the years and three of them are
actually pretty good I remember them
quite fondly there was the monster ramen
challenge when at sea and I sat down to
eat a mountain of ramen there was the
rancor soba noodle challenge where we
had to eat over a hundred bowls of soba
noodles and then there was Fried Chicken
Mountain where I had to eat a small
mountain of fried chicken and their
dining experiences and memories that I
shall treasure forever and then there is
one so traumatic and unpleasant there
thinking about it makes me feel
physically sick
the monster goes a dumpling challenge
when that skin i sat down for an hour
and attempted to eat the world's largest
dumpling I mean it was so large Netsky
tried to cut the damn thing with a sword
no less a sword but there's a fine line
between hilarity and horror and whilst
initially it started off in good humor
by the end of it both nasi and I spent
the rest of the day being sick it wasn't
fun it wasn't good for heaven's sake
stay away from that godforsaken dumpling
don't do it to yourself will I find my
sock I've got one here but the other one
I just don't know where
is no you won't find your sock is all
downhill from here sorry
ok I'm gonna ask a stupid question of
all the instant noodles available in
Japan which one do you consider to be
the best it's a well known fact that I
can't cook but I'm not singing a corner
munching on a loaf of bread I do like to
indulge in a bucket of dried sodium now
Japan's Got more instant noodle brands
and you could possibly comprehend it and
I have to say my favorite brand is still
the standard cut needles which kicked it
all off 5060 years ago now the flavors
best described as sorry sauce with
seafood and me it's just all over the
place really but basically just tastes
like salt just pour in the boiling water
stare away and enjoy your healthy
nutritious lunch so for this next one I
can't work out if it's a comment a
question or a sales pitch here we go
let's find out hashtag ask abroad
hashtag ask a road hello Chris you've
all visit Japan oh yeah wow that's great
Japan is so safe country you're welcome
I like Japanese miss oh sherry Oh
Japanese miss a soup yeah it's the
delicious breakfast with rice and fish
house-made fish house made almost
foreign people like you can enjoy
Japanese be Sochi room and have
pantothenic acid oh you had me at
pantothenic acid
please eat japanese miss oshiro by all
means I'm sure you'll say it's delicious
thank you always loved Japan and what do
you think about chopstick are like
chopsticks are good aren't they can you
use I can like it all [ __ ] tight Chris
fight - another awkward truth I've just
realised I had the chopsticks round the
wrong way the entire time so clearly I
can't use chopsticks I take that back
what a charming young man I'll leave
this comment feeling not only confused
but with a deep longing for pantothenic
acid whatever the heck they are silly
question do what fictional children's
character scared you the most as a child
haha there is one character in
particular that scared me as a child and
as I've grown older and as the years
have gone by
what's worried me is the fact that no
one else seems to find this character
scary I feel like I'm the only one and I
find that quite troubling and I am of
course talking about et because look at
his face
since the age of about 3 years old
onwards I've had daily nightmares about
et is big creepy eyes the
vandals the fact that he looks like a
walking talking piece of mud for my
entire childhood I had nightmares that
et was in the closet and so I just was
scared opening it and getting my clothes
out maybe that's why I don't care about
clothes or fashion because I was worried
I'd find et in the wardrobe people would
say oh he's not scary look Chris he can
make a bicycle fly I'll [ __ ] a
doodle-doo we should have brought him
along for journey across Japan I'll be
right here no you [ __ ] won't get back
on your spaceship thankfully is 29 year
old man I'm no longer scared of et I'm
I've got over it last year and as I said
these days I feel more scared about the
fact that I was the only one that found
him creepy or scary made me wonder if
I'm different am I alone like 80 wasn't
in the film so if you find him scary let
me know let me know that I'm not alone
in this terrible scary world how did
Japanese people view displays of
affection particularly by foreign people
with a mixture of horror and disgust
actually a lot of couples here do hold
hands and kiss in public they wouldn't
be surprised to see foreigners doing
anything like that I think the only time
you might get stared out as if you're
doing french kissing beside the road or
on a train or something rather than that
don't worry about it
go ahead as normal when we leave post a
video featuring both NAT Sookie and
Resort Errol
we've been teased enough alright I
promise you if you make it to the end of
this video I will reveal a clip of
Netsky Marie Otero having a battle with
a sword and I'm not making it up it's
genuinely there the only thing I ask is
that you try and decide you try and
guess who you think is gonna win the
battle between NAT Sookie and risotto
it's coming up so stick around to watch
it but for now it's time for comment of
the week
Fatma Japan I'm going to Russia alright
when looking for an apartment to rent as
a foreigner are there any surprises or
hidden fees you have to be careful of
before renting does discrimination count
as a surprise if you don't already know
many apartments in Japan have a no
foreigners policy that comes to renting
I always thought this was exaggerated I
thought people playing it up until I
moved to Sendai and had the kind of
first-hand experience of this I found my
dream apartment on a real estate website
and I called them up that's nice when
they found out I was British when I
found out I was a foreigner they sort of
said no not happening sorry no amount of
fish and chips and Harry Potter can get
you this apartment girl like and that
was the end of that now there's a few
reasons this happens number one is 97%
of people in Japan are Japanese it's
quite rare for a foreigner to actually
bring you up and ask to be your tenant
and it's a lot more common for a foreign
tenant to just run off and leave the
country with an unpaid bill than it is
for a Japanese person so that is why
it's seen as being a bit risky but if
you do move here and you've got a
company helping you out they will act as
your guarantor and they will help you
get an apartment and that often gets
around that situation Chris I has a
pizza do you has a pizza no I has a
noodles but on the subject of food what
is the absolute number one the cream of
the crop the absolute unit the absolute
extra most bestest restaurant you've
been to in Japan given I can only cook
toast and cup noodles pretty difficult
to do oh do we out at restaurants quite
a lot and there's always been one that
stood out in my mind is being the best
or the most memorable and that is a
teppanyaki grill restaurant in the city
of Morioka called wakana I went there
about three or four years ago with
netsuke and we had this beautiful
locally sourced cut of my sour beef but
even now three or four years later I
remember the way it kind of melted and
dissolved in my mouth white butter and
even Ivy in just about every cut of
Wagyu beef since that is still my
favorite by far it was so good words can
do it justice but fortunately Nazca
invented an entire new phrase in order
to describe it in one word one English
word how would you describe
just ease dishes to work justice doesn't
even make sense
just this delicious dusty fusion it's
art in the world
could you dive into the whole cheating
is okay or less bad in Japan controversy
if you're not familiar with it in Japan
cheating seems to be a lot less frowned
upon and more common than any other
culture in the world so I recently saw a
survey that said 30 percent of guys
cheat on their girlfriends or their
wives I can't pretend like I'm an expert
on this subject I can only speak from
experience and what I've observed but it
does seem to be pretty common just
because Japan does have that kind of
service industry in a way that we don't
have in the UK or the US I think where
there are hostess bars and cab occur
where you pay they're willing to sit
with you for your drinks to talk with
you flirt with you and often you can go
beyond that and there is an industry
called so plant where you can pay for
massages and more I haven't done it so I
can't speak from experience the reason
numbers aren't higher of people
admitting to cheating I think is because
they wouldn't necessarily class it as
cheating they would say it's just a
service right you're going in for a
service there's a show recently on
Netflix called my husband won't fit and
yes is what you think the artwork on
Netflix does make that abundantly clear
but the show seems to propagate the
image that it's okay to cheat on your
partner as long as you don't become
emotionally attached to the person you
are cheating with but I tend to find
younger couples are less tolerant
towards that kind of attitude and those
divorce rates have climbed in recent
decades it's become a great way to
destroy your marriage and get your
partner to hate you
it's about that in mind and we're on the
subject of hey it's time for hate mail
of the week go [ __ ] yourself
you look like a [ __ ] version of Elon
Musk I I can see Frankie Munoz at push
and I can certainly see Robert Downey
jr. definitely but Elon Musk not even a
not even Elon Musk a [ __ ] Elon Musk
I don't see it at all and I'm pretty
certain you don't either right anyway
with that in mind go [ __ ] yourself
and if you do like that nasty sound
effect you can download it for free on a
broad Japan comm we do have a soundboard
there with the aforementioned justice
delicious as well
Oh number one just DS demo download it
and use it as your alarm clock fun for
the whole family what are three things
you still don't understand about Japan
even after living there for years all
right three things here we go number one
breakfast we all know Japan has some of
the most decadent cuisine on earth
prepared to perfection and presented
like artwork and then there's breakfast
which is last night's cold fish it's
right and a side dish of some sort of
fermented atrocity maybe I'm biased
because I'm from the UK and a fried
breakfast is my favorite thing on earth
my favourite dish or meal full stop but
do yourself a favor and the save some
money if you're staying in Japan at a
hotel never get the breakfast just go to
7-eleven get some bread or just eat a
tree anything just don't don't get the
breakfast that's number one Japanese
breakfast awful I don't get why
number two is proofreading and I don't
count that as an example has high
functionality that's just a slightly odd
mistranslations what I'm talking about
is this tea towel for example I bought
this tea towel the other day there's
probably a hundred thousand units of
this products that have been made right
and it's got little cakes on it's quite
nice and it has written on it creamy
dreams creamy dreams I don't know what
that means but it sounds kind of nice
problem is it doesn't say creamy dreams
it says clima dreams Clemmy dreams which
is a small error that could be corrected
by asking literally anyone on earth to
be proof read that next example this
denim pencil case now I know you're
probably thinking wow wish I had a denim
pencil case and it is great it is as
great as you could imagine it to be so
on this pencil case it has a little
motivational quote a little uplifting
message
it says a true friend is someone who
accepts your past supports your present
and encourages your future which i think
is kind of nice I'm not really sure
where it's going but it's nice it makes
sense except it doesn't because it
doesn't say that it says a true friend
is someone who accepts you past supports
your preset and encourages future
supports your preset what does that even
mean understand if your friend is a
robot or some sort of Android but
doesn't really make much sense does it
again probably a hundred thousand units
of this made would have taken a native
English speaker maybe five seconds to
correct that didn't bother don't get it
don't know why and number three is a
pretty obvious one and won't come as a
surprise and that is squat toilets I
don't understand them why do we still
have a hole in the ground given that
this is a country that's pioneered the
most futuristic incredible toilets with
lasers and sprays and excitement there's
nothing worse than needing the toilet
walk into a cubicle and seeing that
atrocity in the ground why are there
still squat toilets I've never met
anyone who said yes let's use a squat
toilet I enjoy it even Japanese people
I've never met anyone to this day so I
don't understand them and I look forward
to the day that they're all gone and
those are the three things I've yet to
understand about Japan if he was stuck
on an island with either realtor or not
ski who would be more useful well that's
a no-brainer
arias rate would be far more useful
because you could kill him and then use
his corpse as a kind of rudimentary
sailing boat and escape to safety I
don't think anybody could ever bring
themselves to kill math geeks a real
trip
would you like to consider this as a
monthly segment for your channel I'd
love to I enjoyed doing Q&A videos I
just find they don't do that well if
this video gets 30,000 likes I'll do
another one in May I promise will we
ever get an ask you the movie sequel or
perhaps a Reata oh the movie I'll be
blunt we ought to raise a good friend is
a great guy but I don't feel he has a
story to tell as such unless he went to
Italy in search of the history of
risotto the adventures of risotto he
could it could just work but
I'm currently considering doing another
documentary on ASCII about his addiction
to smoking because that skiers probably
I think in the top 1% of the smokers in
the world given he smokes a pack a day
of really strong Marva red cigarettes I
mean in a ski movie opened with him
saying this is my breakfast coffee a
cigarette and two cigarettes and that's
and that's pretty much all you need to
know addiction is a serious thing though
and I don't know if that ski could stop
but even if there's just a small chance
that we could do it I feel like it would
be worthwhile because it could save his
life later on down the line so I'm
currently exploring that and I'm
weighing it up and your thoughts and
feedback on that could sway my decision
on whether or not I go ahead with it so
let me know I'll be keeping an eye out
in the comments and while we're on the
subject of Nats Kimi Arturo it's time
for the battle to the death who do you
think is gonna win say their name out
loud now on a ski or real true all right
let's find out who wins the battle
[Music]
a sad ending there a perhaps a glimpse
of what it'd be like to be stuck on an
island with real tree that is all for
now though guys a huge thanks to
everybody who sent in their questions
there will be another Q&A potentially
next month depending on how this one
does but as I said I will be indoors for
the next few weeks for the next month or
so maybe more and there goes the needles
for thank God the lip is on but all
jokes and sarcasm aside please be
careful guys
and that way it might be in the world
right now it's a very strange time and
my thoughts go out to any of you have
been personally affected by it so please
be careful but as always many thanks for
watching and I hope to see you next time
I'm off to prepare my dinner which is is
this obviously the company door that was
my lunch this this is my dinner pretty
bleak is met it's pretty bleak indeed