We’re all attracted to people all of time. What is it that attracts us to others and
what is it that others find attractive about you?
These are some of the questions our team is going to try and answer in this series of
videos. With millions of people to choose from finding that perfect someone shouldn?t
be that difficult. But the media, social pressures and human nature itself, have turned it in
to a mystery. We?re surrounded by manipulated images, celebrity and glossy perfection. We?re
given rules about dating through books, websites and the press. They all pressure us to conform
to an ideal of what is attractive? but what?s the truth? It?s time for Science to tackle
the subject, through a series of experiments our team are going to piece together some
of the clues to this enormously complex phenomenon and in these videos they will explore... The
Science of Attraction. The person we fall in love with or form a
relationship with or even just spend time with is an important choice and some people
find the process of developing those relationships easier than others. A whole industry of self
help books, websites and even courses has developed claiming that there are methods
to attracting a partner and being the perfect date. Do the techniques work and by using
them are you just manipulating other people? [music]
In this video three guys and three girls will be taking part in some speed dating to help
us find out if our sense of attraction can be tricked and what do people really find
attractive beyond looks. But first here's Kat
A quick search of online book stores for "self-help" books reveals 19,250 different titles. People
are very keen to make them selves thinner, happier, more appealing and better at meeting
people. So what is the truth about communication and
dating? Some people seem to be able to talk to anyone
and build that connection easily while others panic at the thought. so here's an experiment
to test some dating techniques and find out what really works when it comes to dating
and communication. To do this experiment we've invited 3 girls
and 3 guys to take part in some speed dating Science of Attraction style. [music] Our singletons
will be meeting at this lovely manor house with it's beautiful gardens, it makes the
perfect romantic location. So without further ado let's meet our lovely ladies.
>> Hi I'm Katherine from Ashford. >> Hi I'M Arul from Manor Park.
>> Hi I'm Sarah from Watford. We've set up the perfect location for our
speed dating. The couples will be have having a romantic picnic in the grounds of the manor
house complete with Strawberries, bubbly and chocolate.
We've got our ladies and a romantic location so it's time to meet the boys, who come with
a catch. [music] What the girls don't know is that our boys
are actors and that they have been given specific character traits to incorporate into their
rapport, during the dates. >> Hi I'm Jonny, I'm date A and I'm going
to be using dating techniques >> Hi I'm Alex, I'm date B and I'm going to
be Mr Average normal Guy >> Hi I'm Oliver, I'm date C and I'm going
to be as sleazy as I can As the boys take their places remember they
are each playing a specific role so that we can find out what kind of behaviour, conversation
and social attributes are most attractive to a potential date. Date A will be using
dating techniques to try and get the best of himself across to the girls. lookout for
his use of open body language and leaning back to show confidence and control. He'll
also tease his dates to show a playful, flirty attitude.
>> So you look all sweet and everything on top but secretly you are a bit of a bad girl
Date B will be playing the neutral role neither flirting or acting disinterested. And Date
C is our bad boy of dating, he'll act over confident.
>> you have a nice figure by the way' he'll be happy to lie in an attempt to show high
social value >> because like I said I write and Produce
tv shows and films as well so I'm in America quite a bit
and he will treat his dates mean but will it keep them keen
>> I'd like to ideally set up my own theatre company
>> [laughs] Ok, that's an original idea Now we've met the girls and our role playing
guys it's time to get them dating. [music] To keep things simple we're going to focus
on one of our guys at a time and see how they get on with all three girls.
Let's start with Date A. >> So what do you do for a living?
>> I'm just about to start directing >> Directing, ah cool, so umm, do you like
bossing people around then >> [laughs]yeah
>> What sort of music do you like? Are you into dancey stuff or whatever? You like to
shake your booty? >> Yeah definitely
>> So what's the top three things you look for in a guy?
>> The top three things I look for are, he has to have a good sense of humour
>> that's a given >> Intelligent
>> check >> I'm going to take a year out to do some
travelling or something >> yeah, I'm going to go to Australia
>> Same here, Australia's a wicked place to go!Bit of an adventurer
>> Yeah definitely [bell rings] >> Oh I think our time is almost up [he leans
in and kisses her] >> thank you
So that was Mr A. was his open body language, innuendo and confidence enough for him to
win a date? We'll find out later but now for Date B.
>> hello >> Hi I'm Alex
>> Alex. Nice to meet you. >> I'm Katherine.
>> Hi Katherine nice to meet you. >> Tell me about yourself then, short and
snappy. >> In a sentence, umm fun loving easy going
guy. I would say help yourself. But like they've had their way with them.
>> Well you know apparently flies and wasps apparently they throw up on their food anyway
before they eat it. >> That's horrible.
>> yeah >> So what sort of direction do you want to
do? >> Stage
>> Stage, Wicked. >> How about you what are you up to
>> I kind of work in the theatre. >> Wow that's good.
>> What do you like, comedy or drama >> umm musicals, laughs [awkwardly]
>> I like anything mell brooks,have you ever heard of young Frankenstein?
>> Yeah, I've seen the Producers, like that [bell rings] Oh that's it, times up!
Was Mr B's take me as I am, relaxed attitude a winner with the girls? We'll find out soon.
But now it's time for our no holds bard bad boy mr C.
>> Hiya >> Hi
>> What's your name? >> I'm Oliver
>> Oliver, I'm Katherine, nice to meet you! >> You want to come and sit a little bit closer
theres a bit of distance. SO how do you want to greet each other? Just a shake of the hand?
>> Yep we will start with that >> A kiss on the cheek?
>> Ah I see your quick! >> That's not nice you've just poured yourself
one you didn't ask me! >> Well I was getting to that, I was just
so enraptured by your presence! >> Ok Well, well started out.
>> You like to travel? I like travelling quite a bit actually.
>> Ah ok where have you been' >> My work kind of takes me all over the world
really, particularly in America. I both write and produce various projects on tv and film
>> really that is interesting. >> Tell me a little bit about yourself
>> I'm just about to go and start studying directing
>> oh right ok. Are you good at it. >> Of course! I'll be confident. Yes I'm brilliant!
>> It was a joke >> Oh right, yeah.
>> [down a glass of champagne together] Good girl!
>> See you later! Oh my! So, will mr c's over confident, space
invading, treat them mean attitude be a winner? Let's find out.
>> I'd probably choose A, I liked him the most, he just seemed a bit more open and wanted
to get to know me. B was really close though because B was really chatty.
>> I liked B definitely because I has so much in common with him, the others I just felt
so uncomfortable with them. >> C I felt so uncomfortable with
>> So uncomfortable! >> Actually wait I preferred C! [girls laugh]I
don't know lots of eye contact, lots of compliments >> I think he was really mean to me actually!
>> It still gives me urgh [shivers] >> Shivers down my spine!
>> I did think that B was nicer, but I just didn't like the fact that he was just a bit
to shy. >> It's bizarre how we all chose different
people! >> I put Mr. B First, then A then C. For Mr
B what I really like was umm how natural he was, I felt like our date went really quickly
because we just had so much we could talk about.
>> It would have to be Mr A first, Mr B second and C last. Guy number A he was ok to talk
to, he seemed like a bit of a laugh. >> First of all it would be Mr C, Second of
all it would be Mr A and third would be Mr B. Mr C was top of my list. He was very intriguing,
very charming. It just left me intrigued and wanting to know more. [music]
So Mr A got one first place and two second places, making him today's winner overall.
Mr B got one first place and one second place. And Mr C got one first place and no second
places. But each of our guys got a date. Let's see what the boys reactions were to the results
>> [boys laugh] ok, well done boys >> even him
>> to be honest I was a little bit surprised that there was any interest at all because
I thought I was a little bit scary at times but there you go. But I don't know people
are different they like different things don't they. So, crazy.
>> Yeah it's a bit of a shame. I thought I would have done better, but one, I suppose
that's fair. >> It's a victory for the normal guy, that's
what this is! Having made their choices based on the dates
we revealed the truth about the guys. >> You know what hearing about Mr C I do feel
manipulated and cheated and really gullible. >> Do you know what A seemed ok though I think
it is using the right positive way. >> I do definitely think A used the dating
techniques really well, because when I think back now he was relaxed and confident. Now
that I've heard about C, I think that C was a little bit too confident, too much in your
face. >> But for me it s so much better natural,
that's why I like B. >> Yeah you want them to be themselves anyway
>> you don't want to date someone fake because what are you going to find out. [music]
Dating techniques can help improve communication and allow people to try and show the best
of themselves but they can also be used to manipulate. Being yourself is clearly the
best thing to do and improving your communication skills can only help. Lying and using dating
techniques to manipulate may fool people into liking you for an instant but in the long
term the truth will come out. So the techniques taught in dating books and
seminars may help to some extent with building confidence but they aren't a system for dating.
The ultimate truth is be yourself and have confidence in who you are.
To find out more and watch other episodes go to science of attraction.co.uk