-People everywhere are still in quarantine,
and that means it's harder to see family.
But, luckily, there are still a bunch of great ways
to stay in touch.
Here to give some tips about keeping
up with loved ones, please welcome
"The Tonight Show" Aunts.
Hi, everybody. -Jimmy!
-Jimmy! -Hi, Jamie. Hi, Jamie.
-Oh, I love it.
-Oh, my gosh. This is great.
Why don't you introduce yourselves
for everyone at home, please?
-Oh, okay, sure. I'm Aunt Martha.
I'm the nervous one.
-I'm Aunt Joan, the kooky one.
-And I'm drunk.
-Alright, great.
So, I hear you're going to give us some tips
on how to stay in touch in quarantine, right?
So why don't we dive in there. -Okay.
Well, you know, we're going to get to that,
but, Jimmy, I've got a lot of questions.
I'm worried. Are you eating enough?
-What? -You look thin to me.
You look thin. -Yeah, do a spin for us.
-Spin. -Alright, come on, guys.
I'm not doing a spin. -Let me see your lower half.
I can't...
-Show us your meat.
-I don't want to -- I don't want to -- I don't --
-You've always been kind of fat-skinny.
It's heart-attacky. -I'm fine.
'Cause skinny people can have heart attacks, too.
-Look, I'm eating --
I'm eating fine, Aunt Martha. Thank you for the concern.
Now, what are some ways families
can stay in touch over quarantine?
Do you have any thoughts?
-Oh, Jimmy, aunts always have thoughts.
-For instance, here's a thought.
Why is it you never tell me when your program is on?
-My program.
Aunt Sue, it's on every night at the exact same time, my program.
-Why can't I ever get it?
Tonight, I turned on my TV the same way I always do,
by pressing input six times,
then crying and calling the fire department.
-Okay. -And still no "Tonight Show."
She doesn't get "The Tonight Show,"
and, Jimmy, I think it's Russians.
-Can we just get -- Can we get to the tips, please?
People want to know how to stay in touch
with loved ones, alright?
Let's focus. -Yes.
Yes. Thank you, Jimmy. You're so disciplined.
You would have made a great doctor, but it didn't work out.
Okay. Now, here's a tip.
When you had Scarlett Johansson on, was she nice?
-That's not -- That wasn't even close to a tip.
-Oh, you know who you should have on the show, Jimmy?
My friend Ruth. She is hilarious.
You know that "Friends" episode where Ross got the monkey?
-Yeah.
-Ruth's seen that.
-We...
Are we -- are we going to get to these tips?
We're not going to get these tips, are we?
-Oh, Joan, Joan, tell him your skit.
-Oh, yeah, Joan, tell him. Tell him your skit.
Tell him your skit idea, Joan.
-I'm sure he doesn't want to hear it.
-Actually, maybe you're right.
Next time, we'll talk about the skit.
-Okay, so, the other day, I'm in D'Agostino's,
you know the one by my apartment,
not the one that you're thinking of right now,
but that other one.
The cart -- Get this.
The carts were on the other side of the store.
-What? Sorry. I missed it.
Carts were on the other side of the store?
-[ Laughing ] The carts were on the other side of the store.
-Oh. And that's it?
-I mean, you'd obviously have to add the jokes,
but that's the backbone of it.
-The structure, Jamie. She's giving you the structure.
-Yeah. You know what?
I was actually really hoping you guys would come on
and talk about how to catch up with family,
but, instead, you talked about everything else.
You talked about my eating and then the show
and Scarlett Johansson.
It's like I spent all this time just --
-Catching up with family?
-That's how you do it, Jamie.
-It ain't pretty, but it ain't fun either.
-You guys are the best.
"The Tonight Show" Aunts, everybody.
-Jamie, real quick. Jamie, real quick before you go.
-Yeah. -Are you pooping?
How are your stools?
-Oh, my goodness. Alright. Very good.
-Oh, hey, you should have your cousin Dave on.
He just got into NYU Tisch.
-Okay, I'll work on that. Okay. Yeah.
-Hello, fire department? I just pressed HDMI.
-That's it.
We'll be right back with more "Tonight Show," everybody.
Come on back. ♪♪
Stop worrying about my pooping and fat-skinny people.